"Bitters can revitalise my career" - evertonfan

[evertonfan]

A groundbreaking revelation has come from within the Dynamos camp this week as want-away star evertonfan has declared his desire to play for the Melbourne Bitters.

Yes you heard that right folks, the ex-Soakers fast bowler who was once one of the Bitters' fiercest rivals wants to play alongside some of the worlds best players.

"Nothing's concrete at the moment but I am looking for a move away from the Dynamos and the Bitters look the ideal choice for me at the moment. It's been hard times playing back in Merseyside again and near enough all of my possesions have been nicked. I regret leaving the Supersoakers but I had too. I loved my time there but there was increasing pressure for me to leave."

evertonfan also went on to state that it was his former inter-forum teammate aus5892 who has played a major role in luring him to the Bitters.

"He's a good bloke and he's a good bowler. I'm also a good bloke and a good bowler. You do the maths."

evertonfan then had to leave abruptly as he had an appointmed with a top quality salon to get his hair sorted for the new season. More on this story as it develops.

 

[smssia0112]

Aus5892 today called evertonfan's announcement that he intends to join the Bitters as fantastic news, saying that evo would make a great addition to the team.

"There are three things we pride ourselves in at Melbourne, winning, partying and being spam whores, and evertonfan is a master at all three.

"There've been plenty of departures so far in the off season, whitehornmatt and Griffo leaving me as the only pace bowler in the team currently, and Feelin Blue leaving our post and runs count very down. I think that evertonfan can bring us a bit of it all."

aus5892 went on to say that evertonfan's initiation process to become a true Melburnian would involve watching 100 hours of Peter Siddle bowling, Gary Ablett playing Australian rules, and AFL Dream Team education. He will also be taught how to make a complete ass of himself by getting into trouble with alcohol repeatedly.

 

[Highlander999]

He will also be taught how to make a complete ass of himself by getting into trouble with alcohol repeatedly.

I think he is already there, with that one

 

[evertonfan]

I'm way ahead of you on the alcohol one.

 

[Simbazz]

Simbazz make its clear, "He'll ruin the balance,"

In a passioned interview Melbourne Bitters batsmen, and part time wicketkeeper last season has said,

"He'd just ruin the balance of the team, his ego isn't big enough for this squad, and I don't think he'd fit in too well, Scottish and Aus...,"

Reported: "Excuse me evertonfan is Scouse,"

"Oh, I thought it was Highlander who was coming, i should read the papers more. Yeh, he bowls with a bit of zip, he has the ego, and i'm sure Aus being a big girl about his hair in the dressing room will only be elevated to a sqaudren task when Evo arrives. Good decision seeing as we've lost a big chunk of out fast bowling stars."

 

[Highlander999]

Hang on I'm just trying to fit my head in through this thread's door.......

 

[Ayub 95]

Aus5892 today called evertonfan's announcement that he intends to join the Bitters as fantastic news, saying that evo would make a great addition to the team.

aus5892 went on to say that evertonfan's initiation process to become a true Melburnian would involve watching 100 hours of Peter Siddle bowling, Gary Ablett playing Australian rules, and AFL Dream Team education. He will also be taught how to make a complete ass of himself by getting into trouble with alcohol repeatedly.

You need an ego to join the bitters YES the bitters will win everything but i don't think i want to watch Peter Siddle bowling for 5 mins and i'll rather watch Jimmy Bartel play AFL than Gary Ablett (I think he is a retired AFL player?)

 

[smssia0112]

You need an ego to join the bitters YES the bitters will win everything but i don't think i want to watch Peter Siddle bowling for 5 mins and i'll rather watch Jimmy Bartel play AFL than Gary Ablett (I think he is a retired AFL player?)

Ever heard of Gary Ablett Junior? He's the best player in the league currently.

 

[Ayub 95]

Yeah i have he's injured but Jimmy Bartel is a great player

 

[tassietiger]

Reports have come out that the Bitters are no good, nor is evertonfan and Gary Ablett is an overrated hack who shaved his head to hide the performance enhancing drugs which can be detected in hair for 12 months.

I'm not saying I agree with all of this stuff, so don't shoot the messenger for this one.

 

[smssia0112]

How dare you deliver unkind messages about the messiah himself! You're going to football hell!

 

[Griffo]

Who is going to the Dynamos for Everton?

 

[smssia0112]

FB possibly?

 

[Griffo]

Lol thats right I remember, silly bugger I am, I have nothing to do with FB at the moment with the Soakers so if you wanna trade him you only have Matt himself to deal with

 

[Left_Hander]

Left_Hander praises evertonfan's proposed move

In a press conference today Left_Hander revealed how much he wanted evertonfan to coming to the Australian club, the Melbourne Bitters.

"He's a great lad, he bowls fast and he supports Everton. He'd be great to have around".

When asked about whether he prefers Melbourne or hometown of Sydney he said.

"Well Melbourne is paying my massive contract so at the moment I guess it is Melbourne". As laughs passed around the room.

He was also quizzed on whether he would change clubs in the distant future.

"No mate. I want to be a one club player for the entirety of my CricSim career".