indiancricketer
International Coach
Here is the new rules for employees in california 
enjoy
Subject: THE NEW 2005 CALIFORNIA STATE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2005 22:23:18 EST
by ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to
come to work.
PERSONAL DAYS Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday.
LUNCH BREAK Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to
eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15
minutes for lunch to get balanced meal to maintain their average
figure Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the
time needed to drink a Slim Fast.
DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according
to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and
carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially
and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need
to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer
clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress
in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do
not need a raise.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE This is no excuse for missing work. There is
nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or coworkers. Every
effort should be made to have no employees attend to the
arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary
funeral should be schedule in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave
that much earlier.!
RESTROOM USE Entirely too much time is being spent in the
restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls.
At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper
roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be
taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under "Chronic Offenders."
Thank you for your loyalty to our great state. We are here to
provide a positive employment experience.
THE GOVERNATER
enjoySubject: THE NEW 2005 CALIFORNIA STATE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK Date: Tue, 1 Feb 2005 22:23:18 EST
by ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof
of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to
come to work.
PERSONAL DAYS Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday.
LUNCH BREAK Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to
eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15
minutes for lunch to get balanced meal to maintain their average
figure Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the
time needed to drink a Slim Fast.
DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according
to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and
carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially
and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need
to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer
clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress
in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do
not need a raise.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE This is no excuse for missing work. There is
nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or coworkers. Every
effort should be made to have no employees attend to the
arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary
funeral should be schedule in the late afternoon. We will be glad to
allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave
that much earlier.!
RESTROOM USE Entirely too much time is being spent in the
restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls.
At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper
roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be
taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under "Chronic Offenders."
Thank you for your loyalty to our great state. We are here to
provide a positive employment experience.
THE GOVERNATER
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