Hi,
there was no thread for these jokes so thought of starting a new one.Friends we can all put hindi/urdu jokes in this thread.Hope people enjoy it.I suppose mods won't mind this.
Here I go.....
Must Dialogues in Hindi Movies!!!
If you're a Bollywood fan you've surely heard most of these one-liners a million times!
HERO
Tere saamne teri maut khadi hai Kuttay!!
Tumhare liye meri jaan bhi haazir hai!
Mere paas meri maa ka ashirwad hai!
Apne Aaadmiyon se kaho ki bandookein phhek de!
Dunyaki koi takat hame juda nahi kar sakti!
Mere hotey huay tumhara koi baal bhi baaka nahin kar sakta!
Yeh meri maa keh Kangan hai!
Maa, mujhe Ashirwad de!
Khabardaar joe Usse haat bhee lagaya!
Tumne apni ma ka dudh piya hai to...
Maa main first class first pass ho gaya hu...
Arre, tum to mere bicchade huay bhai ho!
HEROINE
Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhod do!
Hato. Tum bade woh ho !
Naheen!
Mein tumhare bagair nahin reh sakti!
Maa ne tumhe ghar bulaya hai!
Main usse pyar karti hoon!
Humne pyar kiya hai koi gunah nahin!
Kuchh goonde mere pichhe pade hai!
Baar baar mera pichha kyon karte ho!
Koi Dekh Lega!
Maine tumhe kya samjha, aur tum kya nikley!
HERO'S SISTER
Mein tumhare bachhe ki maa ban ne wali hoon!
Mere bhaiya ko lambi umar dena, bhagwan!
Mere bhai pe koi aanch na aye!
Khabardar jo mujhe chhua bhi, main apni jaan dey doongi!
Bhaiyya, tum mere liye ek pyaari si bhabhi kab laaonge!
Main kissi ko muh dikhane layak nahi rahi!
Bhagwaan ke liye, meri suhaag mat ujaado!
Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do!
VILLAIN
Undoubtedly, the villain has the most fun. He nearly gets close to rape the heroine, beats the hero, kidnap his family in the climax. Sometimes he gets the chance to kill them too!
Tum sign karte ho ke nahi ?
Itni achi cheez bhagwaan ke liye rakhi doon. Kabhi nahin!
Ab Saare Hindustan par hamara raaz hoga!
Batao faarmoola kahan hay?
Tumhari maa hamare kabze main hai!
Kahan jaa rahi ho chhamak chhalon!
In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai!
Yahan teri izzat bachane koi nahi ayega!
Yahan teri cheekh sunne walah koi nahin!
Bula tere bhagwan ko-- dekhta hoon kaun ata hai?
Kis maai ke laal mein itni himmat hai jo mujhse takrayega?
Gaddari ki ek hi sazaa hoti hai, maut!
Uski koi kamzori hogi, koi maa ya behan?
VILLAIN'S SIDEKICK
Boss, Maine tumhara namak khaya hain!
Boss! Maal pakda gaya!
Tumhe Boss ne bulaya hain!
Ok Boss!
DOCTORS
Mujh par bharosa rakhiye!
I am sorry!
Iska to bahot khoon bahey chooka hai. Phoren operation karna padega!
Bhagwan ne chaha to sab thik hoga!
Badhai ho, tum baap bannay waalay ho!
Iski haalat bahot najook hai!
Tumhe sakt aaram ki jaroorat hai!
Jaldi se woh dawayee lao!
Ab sabh kuch oopar waley ke haath mein hain!
Ab main kuch bhi nahin kar sakta!
Bacche ko to hum ney bacha liya par maa...
THE LAW
Order... Order...
Kanoon Ko apney haath mein mat lo!
Kanoon jazbaat nahi, saboot dekhti hai!
Kanoon ko saboot chahiye!
Tazeerat-e-hind , dafa 302 ke tahat, mulzim ko maut ki saza sunai jaati hai!
Mulzim ko baa izzat bari kiya jata hai!
Milord...
HERO/ HEROINE's FATHER
Ghar mein do javaan betiyan hain!
Agar toonay aisa kiya toh - mujhse burra koi nahin hogaaa!
Ek baar iske haath pile kar doon, phir mein chain se mar sakta hoon!
Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein!
Beti to paraya dhan hai!
Mere jeeteji yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti!
Main jald hi dahez ki sari rakam chuka doonga!
Yeh aap kya kah rahen hai, bhai sahib!
Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhane ke layak nahin rahe!
Kya isi din ke liye tujhe paida kiya tha?
Main kahta hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey!
MOTHER
Mera Raja beta!
Mera ashirwad sada tere saath hai!
Tujhe ek maa ki aah lagegi!
Mera beta aisa kabhi nahin kar sakta!
Mera beta teri maut bankar aayega, thakur!
Ek baar mujhe maa keh kar pukaro beta...
Mere bete ki raksha karna prabhu!
Kya apni maa ki baat nahi maanega?
Mera achha beta, jaldi se dudh peekar bada ho jaa!
Is budhi maa ka tumhare siwa aur kaun hai?
Mere Raja bete ko aaj mein apne haaton se khilaaongi!
Hey bhagwan, mere suhaag ki raksha karna!
Maine tere liye gajar ka halwa banaya hai!
Maine tumhe paal pos kar bada kiya...
Mar, Mar isse betay, isse ne tere Devata jaise pita ka khoon kiya!
MOTHER-IN-LAW
Chudeil! Kide pade tere...
Tere baap ke bheje huey iss sari ka too kya karegi. Chal, mujhe dey!
Ey Chudail, ab kaha se mooh kala karke aayee hain?
Aah Haa Haa, Maharani, waha baithey baithey kya kar rahi hain!
Arri Kalmoohi, Kaha mar gayi!
Eh Kulta, tere baap ne ab tak dahej ki rakam nahin chukayi!
souce: http://www.masalatime.com/features/046.shtml
there was no thread for these jokes so thought of starting a new one.Friends we can all put hindi/urdu jokes in this thread.Hope people enjoy it.I suppose mods won't mind this.
Here I go.....
Must Dialogues in Hindi Movies!!!
If you're a Bollywood fan you've surely heard most of these one-liners a million times!
HERO
Tere saamne teri maut khadi hai Kuttay!!
Tumhare liye meri jaan bhi haazir hai!
Mere paas meri maa ka ashirwad hai!
Apne Aaadmiyon se kaho ki bandookein phhek de!
Dunyaki koi takat hame juda nahi kar sakti!
Mere hotey huay tumhara koi baal bhi baaka nahin kar sakta!
Yeh meri maa keh Kangan hai!
Maa, mujhe Ashirwad de!
Khabardaar joe Usse haat bhee lagaya!
Tumne apni ma ka dudh piya hai to...
Maa main first class first pass ho gaya hu...
Arre, tum to mere bicchade huay bhai ho!
HEROINE
Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhod do!
Hato. Tum bade woh ho !
Naheen!
Mein tumhare bagair nahin reh sakti!
Maa ne tumhe ghar bulaya hai!
Main usse pyar karti hoon!
Humne pyar kiya hai koi gunah nahin!
Kuchh goonde mere pichhe pade hai!
Baar baar mera pichha kyon karte ho!
Koi Dekh Lega!
Maine tumhe kya samjha, aur tum kya nikley!
HERO'S SISTER
Mein tumhare bachhe ki maa ban ne wali hoon!
Mere bhaiya ko lambi umar dena, bhagwan!
Mere bhai pe koi aanch na aye!
Khabardar jo mujhe chhua bhi, main apni jaan dey doongi!
Bhaiyya, tum mere liye ek pyaari si bhabhi kab laaonge!
Main kissi ko muh dikhane layak nahi rahi!
Bhagwaan ke liye, meri suhaag mat ujaado!
Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do!
VILLAIN
Undoubtedly, the villain has the most fun. He nearly gets close to rape the heroine, beats the hero, kidnap his family in the climax. Sometimes he gets the chance to kill them too!
Tum sign karte ho ke nahi ?
Itni achi cheez bhagwaan ke liye rakhi doon. Kabhi nahin!
Ab Saare Hindustan par hamara raaz hoga!
Batao faarmoola kahan hay?
Tumhari maa hamare kabze main hai!
Kahan jaa rahi ho chhamak chhalon!
In gori gori kalaiyon ko kaam karne ki kya zaroorat hai!
Yahan teri izzat bachane koi nahi ayega!
Yahan teri cheekh sunne walah koi nahin!
Bula tere bhagwan ko-- dekhta hoon kaun ata hai?
Kis maai ke laal mein itni himmat hai jo mujhse takrayega?
Gaddari ki ek hi sazaa hoti hai, maut!
Uski koi kamzori hogi, koi maa ya behan?
VILLAIN'S SIDEKICK
Boss, Maine tumhara namak khaya hain!
Boss! Maal pakda gaya!
Tumhe Boss ne bulaya hain!
Ok Boss!
DOCTORS
Mujh par bharosa rakhiye!
I am sorry!
Iska to bahot khoon bahey chooka hai. Phoren operation karna padega!
Bhagwan ne chaha to sab thik hoga!
Badhai ho, tum baap bannay waalay ho!
Iski haalat bahot najook hai!
Tumhe sakt aaram ki jaroorat hai!
Jaldi se woh dawayee lao!
Ab sabh kuch oopar waley ke haath mein hain!
Ab main kuch bhi nahin kar sakta!
Bacche ko to hum ney bacha liya par maa...
THE LAW
Order... Order...
Kanoon Ko apney haath mein mat lo!
Kanoon jazbaat nahi, saboot dekhti hai!
Kanoon ko saboot chahiye!
Tazeerat-e-hind , dafa 302 ke tahat, mulzim ko maut ki saza sunai jaati hai!
Mulzim ko baa izzat bari kiya jata hai!
Milord...
HERO/ HEROINE's FATHER
Ghar mein do javaan betiyan hain!
Agar toonay aisa kiya toh - mujhse burra koi nahin hogaaa!
Ek baar iske haath pile kar doon, phir mein chain se mar sakta hoon!
Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein!
Beti to paraya dhan hai!
Mere jeeteji yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti!
Main jald hi dahez ki sari rakam chuka doonga!
Yeh aap kya kah rahen hai, bhai sahib!
Ab hum kisi ko muh dikhane ke layak nahin rahe!
Kya isi din ke liye tujhe paida kiya tha?
Main kahta hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey!
MOTHER
Mera Raja beta!
Mera ashirwad sada tere saath hai!
Tujhe ek maa ki aah lagegi!
Mera beta aisa kabhi nahin kar sakta!
Mera beta teri maut bankar aayega, thakur!
Ek baar mujhe maa keh kar pukaro beta...
Mere bete ki raksha karna prabhu!
Kya apni maa ki baat nahi maanega?
Mera achha beta, jaldi se dudh peekar bada ho jaa!
Is budhi maa ka tumhare siwa aur kaun hai?
Mere Raja bete ko aaj mein apne haaton se khilaaongi!
Hey bhagwan, mere suhaag ki raksha karna!
Maine tere liye gajar ka halwa banaya hai!
Maine tumhe paal pos kar bada kiya...
Mar, Mar isse betay, isse ne tere Devata jaise pita ka khoon kiya!
MOTHER-IN-LAW
Chudeil! Kide pade tere...
Tere baap ke bheje huey iss sari ka too kya karegi. Chal, mujhe dey!
Ey Chudail, ab kaha se mooh kala karke aayee hain?
Aah Haa Haa, Maharani, waha baithey baithey kya kar rahi hain!
Arri Kalmoohi, Kaha mar gayi!
Eh Kulta, tere baap ne ab tak dahej ki rakam nahin chukayi!
souce: http://www.masalatime.com/features/046.shtml
