CerealKiller
Vice President of the Iftikhar Ahmed Fan Club
Hi. My name is Talha, i am 20 years old. I've been active on this site since May 2015. It has been a ray of light in some of the most difficult years of my life, and i have made many friends here.
Thankfully those difficult times have passed, and i feel, at the start of my 20s, that i can have a fresh start in life. To do that, i have to be honest with myself, and with the people dearest to me. Some of the people on this website, and the forum as a collective, are very dear to me, for forming an important part of my teenage years. So, as the title says, I’m writing this because i owe you the truth about something.
On the night of the 2nd of July 2017, i made this post, in which i said that i was gonna leave forever, without publicly saying the reason. (I will try to tag all of the people i tagged in that post too)
That was a lie. The real reason for me making that post is that i had planned to take my own life that night. I won't go into the reasons why i wanted to do that, as it is water under the bridge now. I delayed myself until the next day, and used that night and the morning after to answer any private messages. I couldn’t tell all of you that i was going to kill myself, so i made up the story about the cancer, as i didn’t want to leave suddenly without a goodbye.
The next day, in the afternoon of the 3rd of July 2017, i attempted to take my own life, by deliberately drowning in a river (I can’t swim). I failed, thankfully. I jumped in the water, but somehow made it to shore. I am still thankful to God for saving me that day.
I suffered from aftershock, but i recovered quickly, mentally and physically.
I didn’t know how to come back to this website, without revealing the truth. So on the 4th of July, the day after i survived my suicide attempt, i created a second account, @GetToDaChoppa . Obviously it was immediately detected as a double account by the admins. @The Real Modi approached me via PM to clarify, and I repeated my story about the cancer, and told him that I couldn’t force myself to stay away from the forums, but also was too embarrassed to come back on my main account, so i created a second one. He graciously agreed to ban my second account, and leave the main one intact. I cannot thank you enough, Gaurav, and i am truly sorry for lying to you.
For a couple of weeks i logged in on my main account (the one i'm still using), without posting anything. @ABDULLAH (i could be mistaken as to who it was, can’t find the PM) noticed that i had made some substitutions to my team in a Fantasy Cricket game, so he approached me via PM, and i told him that my treatment was looking better, and i could be back in a couple months, but I couldn’t stay away from the site, so i came online each day for Fantasy Cricket, and asked him not to tell anyone. I told the same to some other people. Again, i’m sorry for deceiving you when you were concerned for me.
In the last week of July, i told people that i was informed that my diagnosis was completely wrong, due to a mistake by the doctors, and the cancer wasn’t terminal. After that, i came back to the site on the 25th of July 2017.
There is no amount of words or explanations that can excuse what i did. I can only ask you for forgiveness.
I'm sorry.
I'll accept any penalties the staff might impose.
@Na Maloom Afraad @AliB @Perfect Square @Till Valhalla @PresidentEvil @zwarrior @VC the slogger @Aislabie @LiveLoveABD @Tarzan @Pinch hitter @RUDI @Hamza2000 @Yash. @Naman7 @ABDULLAH @Aggz @asprin @Bilal45 @CremerCurrans @Bigby Wolf @Epic @Greninja @IceAgeComing @Salman. @MishraJee @Samuels @SixerBoy11 @swacker @Velocity @Kaptaan @The Real Modi @Villain @aditya123 @MattW @Alexei. @TheJoker. @Ahmad94 @TSPrathik
Thankfully those difficult times have passed, and i feel, at the start of my 20s, that i can have a fresh start in life. To do that, i have to be honest with myself, and with the people dearest to me. Some of the people on this website, and the forum as a collective, are very dear to me, for forming an important part of my teenage years. So, as the title says, I’m writing this because i owe you the truth about something.
On the night of the 2nd of July 2017, i made this post, in which i said that i was gonna leave forever, without publicly saying the reason. (I will try to tag all of the people i tagged in that post too)
I left a former member of the forums, Fake Passport, a message to give anyone who wanted to know why i was leaving. The message i gave was that i was suffering from terminal cancer, which would kill me in a few months. I would use the time left to visit relatives, and wouldn’t return to this website.
That was a lie. The real reason for me making that post is that i had planned to take my own life that night. I won't go into the reasons why i wanted to do that, as it is water under the bridge now. I delayed myself until the next day, and used that night and the morning after to answer any private messages. I couldn’t tell all of you that i was going to kill myself, so i made up the story about the cancer, as i didn’t want to leave suddenly without a goodbye.
The next day, in the afternoon of the 3rd of July 2017, i attempted to take my own life, by deliberately drowning in a river (I can’t swim). I failed, thankfully. I jumped in the water, but somehow made it to shore. I am still thankful to God for saving me that day.
I suffered from aftershock, but i recovered quickly, mentally and physically.
I didn’t know how to come back to this website, without revealing the truth. So on the 4th of July, the day after i survived my suicide attempt, i created a second account, @GetToDaChoppa . Obviously it was immediately detected as a double account by the admins. @The Real Modi approached me via PM to clarify, and I repeated my story about the cancer, and told him that I couldn’t force myself to stay away from the forums, but also was too embarrassed to come back on my main account, so i created a second one. He graciously agreed to ban my second account, and leave the main one intact. I cannot thank you enough, Gaurav, and i am truly sorry for lying to you.
For a couple of weeks i logged in on my main account (the one i'm still using), without posting anything. @ABDULLAH (i could be mistaken as to who it was, can’t find the PM) noticed that i had made some substitutions to my team in a Fantasy Cricket game, so he approached me via PM, and i told him that my treatment was looking better, and i could be back in a couple months, but I couldn’t stay away from the site, so i came online each day for Fantasy Cricket, and asked him not to tell anyone. I told the same to some other people. Again, i’m sorry for deceiving you when you were concerned for me.
In the last week of July, i told people that i was informed that my diagnosis was completely wrong, due to a mistake by the doctors, and the cancer wasn’t terminal. After that, i came back to the site on the 25th of July 2017.
There is no amount of words or explanations that can excuse what i did. I can only ask you for forgiveness.
I'm sorry.
I'll accept any penalties the staff might impose.
@Na Maloom Afraad @AliB @Perfect Square @Till Valhalla @PresidentEvil @zwarrior @VC the slogger @Aislabie @LiveLoveABD @Tarzan @Pinch hitter @RUDI @Hamza2000 @Yash. @Naman7 @ABDULLAH @Aggz @asprin @Bilal45 @CremerCurrans @Bigby Wolf @Epic @Greninja @IceAgeComing @Salman. @MishraJee @Samuels @SixerBoy11 @swacker @Velocity @Kaptaan @The Real Modi @Villain @aditya123 @MattW @Alexei. @TheJoker. @Ahmad94 @TSPrathik
