ZexyZahid
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- May 12, 2005
- Online Cricket Games Owned
I ran into this page and I found some pretty funny jokes. Sorry if this is already posted.
The jokes page
Digging through the old Cricinfo archives, we came across files of jokes, some good, some bad, many truly appalling. With no vouching for their titillation factor or originality - may well-worn anecdotes contain references to a variety of different players, depending on who tells them - we present some of them here. If you know of any jokes, please email us
Here are the ones I liked:
First this one:
The cricketer was visiting the psychiatrist.
Cricketer: 'It's terrible. I can't score runs, I'm a terrible bowler, and I can't hold a catch. What can l do?'
Doctor: 'Get another job.'
Cricketer: 'I can't. I'm playing for England tomorrow !'
The next are in order of the page itself:
An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he was connected to the Lord's cricket ground. "How's it going?" he asked. "Fine," came the answer, "We've got three out and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck."
In a local match, the umpire was being jeered and heckled unmercifully from the crowd. At length he walked over to the boundary and sat down next to his chief critic. "What are you doing?" asked the spectator. "Well," said the umpire, "it seems you get the best view from here."
During the match, the fieldsman positioned just behind the umpire kept trying to distract the batsman as the ball was bowled to him. Several appeals for lbw were turned down, and finally the umpire turned to the fieldsman and said sternly: "I've been watching you for the last 20 minutes." "I thought so," came the reply, "I could tell you weren't watching the game!"
"I've never umpired a cricket match before. Do I have to run after the ball?" "No, after the match."
George was always thinking of cricket. Eventually, his exasperated wife said, "You think nothing but cricket. I bet you don't even remember the day we were married." "Of course I do," said George. "It was the day Sir Colin Cowdrey got 100 not out against Surrey."
A friend asked George, "Tell me, is your daughter's fianc?e a good catch?" "Good catch?" answered George. "Dammit, he's the best fielder we've got in the side!"
In a calmer moment, George and his wife were sitting at home. George was as usual reading some bowling averages. "Do you remember the day you proposed at the cricket match?" said she, romantically. "You were bold." "No I wasn't," muttered George, "I was caught and bowled!"
The two rival cricketers were talking. 'The local team wants me to play for them very badly.' 'Well, you're just the man for the job.'
In a tense game, a batsman was given run out , a decision with which he obviously disagreed. He paced up and down outside the pavilion until the umpires came in. "I wasn't out, you know," he said to the umpire. "Look in tomorrow's paper." "No, you look in the paper," the other replied. "I'm the editor."
The cricketer was proud of his progress as a batsman and invited his mother-in-law along to watch him play, hoping to impress her. At the crease, he turned to the wicketkeeper and said "I'm anxious to do well and really hit this ball. That's my wife's mother over there." "Don't be silly," said the wicketkeeper. "You'll never hit her at 200 hundred yards."
For more jokes read with the underlying link
http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/pakveng/content/story/226548.html
The jokes page
Digging through the old Cricinfo archives, we came across files of jokes, some good, some bad, many truly appalling. With no vouching for their titillation factor or originality - may well-worn anecdotes contain references to a variety of different players, depending on who tells them - we present some of them here. If you know of any jokes, please email us
Here are the ones I liked:
First this one:
The cricketer was visiting the psychiatrist.
Cricketer: 'It's terrible. I can't score runs, I'm a terrible bowler, and I can't hold a catch. What can l do?'
Doctor: 'Get another job.'
Cricketer: 'I can't. I'm playing for England tomorrow !'
The next are in order of the page itself:
An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he was connected to the Lord's cricket ground. "How's it going?" he asked. "Fine," came the answer, "We've got three out and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck."
In a local match, the umpire was being jeered and heckled unmercifully from the crowd. At length he walked over to the boundary and sat down next to his chief critic. "What are you doing?" asked the spectator. "Well," said the umpire, "it seems you get the best view from here."
During the match, the fieldsman positioned just behind the umpire kept trying to distract the batsman as the ball was bowled to him. Several appeals for lbw were turned down, and finally the umpire turned to the fieldsman and said sternly: "I've been watching you for the last 20 minutes." "I thought so," came the reply, "I could tell you weren't watching the game!"
"I've never umpired a cricket match before. Do I have to run after the ball?" "No, after the match."
George was always thinking of cricket. Eventually, his exasperated wife said, "You think nothing but cricket. I bet you don't even remember the day we were married." "Of course I do," said George. "It was the day Sir Colin Cowdrey got 100 not out against Surrey."
A friend asked George, "Tell me, is your daughter's fianc?e a good catch?" "Good catch?" answered George. "Dammit, he's the best fielder we've got in the side!"
In a calmer moment, George and his wife were sitting at home. George was as usual reading some bowling averages. "Do you remember the day you proposed at the cricket match?" said she, romantically. "You were bold." "No I wasn't," muttered George, "I was caught and bowled!"
The two rival cricketers were talking. 'The local team wants me to play for them very badly.' 'Well, you're just the man for the job.'
In a tense game, a batsman was given run out , a decision with which he obviously disagreed. He paced up and down outside the pavilion until the umpires came in. "I wasn't out, you know," he said to the umpire. "Look in tomorrow's paper." "No, you look in the paper," the other replied. "I'm the editor."
The cricketer was proud of his progress as a batsman and invited his mother-in-law along to watch him play, hoping to impress her. At the crease, he turned to the wicketkeeper and said "I'm anxious to do well and really hit this ball. That's my wife's mother over there." "Don't be silly," said the wicketkeeper. "You'll never hit her at 200 hundred yards."
For more jokes read with the underlying link
http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/pakveng/content/story/226548.html
