Story Three Lions on the Shirt? - Match Day: Northamptonshire fight back!!!

[treva]

Windies off to a fine start thanks to Lara's strokeplay. Love the way the story is set out Tom. I maybe have just one suggestion, which I hope you take as something to try and improve and not me saying it's rubbish:

Maybe put a little less emphasis on the pictures. As it is a career story maybe the writing should be the focus of your work. Also the images maybe could do with a little less complexity, and just a bit of simplicity could make it a bit neater. For example everyone knows Short_Leg's 'Baggy Green' story, which had simple pictures and just some neat text.

I am not having a go at your story in any way, and I hope you take my comments with good heart. It's a great and unique story, so keep up the good work

Hope this post helped!
Trev

 

[Highlander999]

brillaint update mate and good start for both teams they will be happy with their scoring rate but getting 2 wickts is good hopefully u can bowl and restrict them can't wait to see how his goes keep up the great work!!

Cheers mate. Those 2 wickets are important but the middle order are dangerous

Thats superb batting! 9 an over The 2 wickets can help you guys though.

Yeah if they keep this RR up without losing any more wickets I could be in trouble

The master is on fire here. You guys need to keep your heads and get him out.

Great presentation mate. Those 2 wickets really helped you and Kent.

Thanks for commenting mate

great start for the windies....54 in 6 overs is superb at the rate of 9 per over...kent need the all important wicket of Lara who is batting really well....

here u go...3rd post in ur story and many more to come...

Glad to see that you are going to post more

That run rate is awesome but still, situation seem to be "Anything can happen" one. This reminds me the flyer which Windies got off to in CT2006 finals and then falled to a low horrible total against Aussies.

Fantastic storyline and efforts. Keep it up. :hrpaise

Cheers suren. Your one of the best posters in this thread. I think I know what your talking about

awesome awesome work cant wait for tom to get involved

Thanks mate

Excellent update. Just have to break this partnership and I think you will have a good chance of winning the game..

Yeah these two are the crucial wickets. Thanks for your kind words

West Indies are going at a good run-rate. If Lara and Chanderpaul can hang around they will make a more than handy Twenty20 score.

Thanks for commenting mate

Thats a terrific start for West Indies. They are going at 9 rpo but at the same time they lost both the openers. With Lara and Chanderpaul at the crease, WI will be looking forward to get a huge score.

Fantastic storyline, great graphics, nice use of the stats and overall it makes a great story

Your comments are really very kind. Thanks Sarvesh

Windies off to a fine start thanks to Lara's strokeplay. Love the way the story is set out Tom. I maybe have just one suggestion, which I hope you take as something to try and improve and not me saying it's rubbish:

Maybe put a little less emphasis on the pictures. As it is a career story maybe the writing should be the focus of your work. Also the images maybe could do with a little less complexity, and just a bit of simplicity could make it a bit neater. For example everyone knows Short_Leg's 'Baggy Green' story, which had simple pictures and just some neat text.

I am not having a go at your story in any way, and I hope you take my comments with good heart. It's a great and unique story, so keep up the good work

Hope this post helped!
Trev

Thank you very much for your comments treva. I like nothing more then constructive criticism. Well to answer your point. I have noticed myself that the story is beginning to stray sometimes from a career story. I spoke to Short Leg for advice a couple of weeks ago and found he autoplayed the majority of his matches. That is not how I wish to play the game. I prefer to give a more broader picture

However and this is where I need everyone's help. How would you readers feel if I did less detail on the matches and focused a lot more heavily on Tom Baker? Do you want more text as well, maybe more on what Tom Baker is thinking?

I would really appreciate some feedback as treva has raised a few questions in my mind.

 

[OrderDX]

i believe you should carry on exactly how you are there is definitely enough focus on Baker but the matches arejut as important so my advice: DON'T CHANGE A THING!!! If it ain't broke don't fix it!

 

[Manly]

I would echo treva, maybe focus a bit more on the text of the updates.
As for the matches/thoughts/personal life split, keep it as it is, I mean, you don't just fluke to 29 pages of comments by doing something wrong do you?

KUTGW mate, even if I don't comment, I enjoy reading this story immensely.

 

[freddiw]

i agree stick with Tom's life maybe in training or dates etc

interviews relationships with other players families..

when it comes to match time maybe go into MORE detail when tom is involved and LESS when he is not

love the story tho and cant wait for more

 

[surendar]

I spoke to Short Leg for advice a couple of weeks ago and found he autoplayed the majority of his matches. That is not how I wish to play the game. I prefer to give a more broader picture

However and this is where I need everyone's help. How would you readers feel if I did less detail on the matches and focused a lot more heavily on Tom Baker? Do you want more text as well, maybe more on what Tom Baker is thinking?

Career story always focus more on the character involved in the story. I would say, everything in Tom's angle. What Tom sees.. what Tom plays.. What role did Tom expected to play/played... What reaction/critics did Tom receive from external world ( like how Sachin receives regular critics from so called expert,Ian Chappel), then how Tom felt on those critics.. then how Tom replied to that.. then What are the things running in Tom's mind when some critical situation is going in front of him for his team.. and so on.

This is not only for this career story.. But it's generalized one. It will build up a good/strong storyline. But as I always say in the end, " Just my personal opinion.. It's upto the story writer in whichever way he wants to take the story and entertain the members! "

Also, I dunno how many of them have read this career story,

http://www.planetcricket.org/forums/showthread.php?t=15761

( Rahul Ramesh's career story ) but it's one of the stories which had some interesting starts to the career story. But unfortunately, it stayed in the forums only for a while. That story might add some ideas as well.

 

[Pakistani Army]

Yeah, just focus a bit more on the writing mate.
I mean...the graphics are great to be honest.

But you do what you feel is right.

 

[treva]

Thank you very much for your comments treva. I like nothing more then constructive criticism. Well to answer your point. I have noticed myself that the story is beginning to stray sometimes from a career story. I spoke to Short Leg for advice a couple of weeks ago and found he autoplayed the majority of his matches. That is not how I wish to play the game. I prefer to give a more broader picture

However and this is where I need everyone's help. How would you readers feel if I did less detail on the matches and focused a lot more heavily on Tom Baker? Do you want more text as well, maybe more on what Tom Baker is thinking?

I would really appreciate some feedback as treva has raised a few questions in my mind.

Ok then. Well to respond to your point about Short_Leg's story and the way he played. I don't think you have to change the way you play, it's just in the way you present. My opinion is that you stick to playing the game, but maybe just, for example, do session updates in a 4 day game when you are not involved. You have text on how you feel the players have played and what have you. Then when you are bowling or batting you update with much more detail about every going on. Therefore you show shots, deliveries and right exactly what happened.

These are just examples from Short_Leg's story, and by know means do I wish you to copy his work at all. Just an example in which you could use your own ideas to implement the same sort of idea.

When you are not involved with play:
http://www.planetcricket.org/forums/showpost.php?p=381133&postcount=32

When you are involved with play:
http://www.planetcricket.org/forums/showpost.php?p=381891&postcount=43

I hope again that this helps

 

[Highlander999]

Thank you everyone for this little feedback session. So treva are you thinking of posts more like this update

http://www.planetcricket.org/forums/showpost.php?p=922312&postcount=27

I think I'll stick with the graphics I am currently doing as I enjoy making them and I don't think they are too bad. Once again thanks everyone :hpraise The next few updates will still be along the old format as I have already made them but I'll try and implement what you guys have said very soon.

 

[tonka998]

If you dont mind me adding my opinion - I feel you should mix it up a little - A little bit of what Tom is thinking and also what is happening on the pitch. I suppose very similar to what you are doing at the moment, but with more emphasis on the career of Tom and how he deals with his moments of glory and setbacks.
However, I feel this story is one of the best I have seen and would not argue against carrying on like you are at the moment - but maybe just to add something little different - try adding a little more personal feelings.

I hope this helps a bit Whatever happens though - do not quit! This is one awesome story!! Keep it up!

 

[treva]

Mate, at the end of the day it is your story and you do what you wish. I am glad to see you are thinking of the readers opinions also. Keep up the good work and keep enjoying the story

 

[Highlander999]

Friday 5th April

Watching up close, Brian Lara batting has got to be one of the most profitable things for a rookie cricketer to see. Being in the slip cordon I had a perfect view. His technique was flawless. I especially enjoyed watching him driving. I noticed how his head was perfectly over the ball and he never lost his balance. Hopefully I would be able to talk to him after the match and get a few useful pointers.

Chanderpaul although having a very unorthodox batting style was equally enjoyable to watch. However he did not hang around long. Martin was thundering in to finish of his last over. Chanderpaul had not really been attacking the bowlers and the pressure began to build on him. With only two balls left of his alloted overs, Martin got the crucial wicket. He got Chanderpaul following the ball, by seaming the ball cross the left-hander and he edged it. I saw it come, almost in slow motion towards me. It was at the perfect height and heading right in towards my body. I cupped my hands and the ball stuck :happy

The crowd erupted into cheers. Everyone came running in while I held the ball above my head. Martin came in and lifted me up. I was so pleased. I looked towards the pavillion and there was Gemma cheering. I waved up to her and she waved back. She looked stunning. We were really buoyant. But Lara was still there

As Devon Smith was heading out, David jogged over to me.

"Hi there Tom. Good catch. I'm going to save you until the last few overs so I want you to be ready and bowl a really tight line. The team will be depending on you to bowl well, so remember to mix your bowling up with a lot of yorkers and slower balls."

WOW. I would be bowling at the death. I felt that sensation in my stomach when you miss a step. You know. That swooping sensation. That was how it felt for me but on a much grander scale. This would be the biggest test of my career to date. If I could bowl well with all that pressure on me I would be making a statement that I was here to stay. However things weren't going too well for Kent. Devon Smith came out with a mission, I noticed. And that mission was to see if he could hit a ball out of the ground. He hit some massive shots One part of me was sad to see our bowlers getting hit like that. Another part of me was slightly humbled to be watching these superb players. It made me realise I have a long way to go still.

Eventually Lara made his half-century. I was not surprised. You don't just pick up the wicket of the best batsman in the world easily. He had however made us look rather poor. He had disdainfully hit our bowlers to all corners of the ground. I privately hoped he would still be there at the end as I would love to have the chance to bowl at him.

I was however not going to get that chance. Jimmy came on and changed everything. With the fielding restrictions lifted, spin would be crucial now to slow the run-rate down and pick up a few wickets. I got sent to sweep on the off-side. A couple of kids behind me shouted if I would sign their bats. I looked over and saw David and Jimmy in discussion. I nipped over the rope and started signing their bats.

"TOM!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!"

Oh crap. Jimmy had bowled and Smith had cut it towards me and I had not been paying attention. I tried to stop it but it was too late. The ball went for 4 I put my hand up to apologise to Jimmy, but David looked pretty angry. It was a real beginners mistake. The kids behind me apologised, but I told them it wasn't there fault.

It didn't too much in the end, as Jimmy went on to pick up three wickets in just 2 overs. He did go for 25 runs but those wickets were crucial. When Sarwan was bowled for just 5 leaving the West Indies on 99/6 the atmosphere within the team was electric. Everyone was laughing and cheering and generally having a good time. Even the fans seemed to be pleased. I really felt now that Jimmy deserved a call up for England.

We had now reached 10 overs, the half-way point. Drinks were called on by the umpires. Although we had not been playing long the atmosphere and work had meant we had built up quite a sweat. As we gathered around the drinks, David spoke up,

"Ok, boys. This has been a great bowling performance so far. But don't get lulled into a false sense of security. They could easily put an extra 100 runs on here. Just more of the same stuff. Anyone have anything they want to say?"

I spoke up

"I just wanted to apologise for that mis-field back there. I wasn't paying attention so sorry about that Dave. It won't happen again."

"Hey no problem Tom. Just don't let it happen again. We all make mistakes when we begin. It's just crucial we learn from them."

So at the 10 overs stage West Indies were 100/6. They were going along at a superb run-rate but they were losing wickets far too quickly and at this rate I wouldn't even get a chance to bowl. However Hinds and Banks can bat so we didn't want to under estimate them. I remembered from back in the pre-match analysis that Banks was weaker against the full ball, while if you gave Hinds anything on the off-side he put it straight over the boundary.

The big TV screen came up with all the stats while the drinks were being taken of. I was extremely pleased to see that there had been 1 wide and that was it from the extras column. This was vital as we had therefore not allowed the Windies any free-hits. It did show the discipline and hard work our bowlers had been putting in. They had been a bit expensive, but Martin and Jimmy had got crucial wickets while Sheriy had been unlucky. Hopefully we would bowl the West Indies out soon and have a good crack at knocking of their runs nice and easy.

 

[OrderDX]

another brilliant update mate getting wickets is good i can see Windies making 160-170 especially if u finish off the tail. Looking forward to the next update. Great work as always!

 

[Karachi Xpress]

Thats a great comeback by you guys. Windies are in trouble now!

 

[freddiw]

awesome update and awesome come back

cant wait for tom to get a bowl and congrats to Kent for getting quick wickets

4 more and they can easily win this game especially as there batting is way stronger than their bowling