AFL...
Played on a cricket oval with four sticks at each end. 2 times 18 players wearing tight shorts and tight singlets run around punching, kicking, and slapping a red leather ball. They try and kick it through the middle sticks to get 6 points, but if they get it through the side ones they only get one. They pretend to tackle each other, but none of them really know how. When grabbed, they pretend that they can't rid of the ball so the don't lose possession, even when they can. They knock-on a lot, and if the ball goes out of bounds then a little guy dressed in white hurls the ball over his head. If a player catches a ball he gets a free kick, even if i doesn't really catch the ball but mearly fumble it in mid air for long enough to please some knob in white. If a player gets a tiny knock, he will hurl himself to the ground in order to pull a penalty. All the other players then bump chests and pull each others singlets. Likewise, when the ball is in play the still pull each others singlets. Basically, a whole lot of pulling goes on. Players like to bump into umpires, and then pretend that they didn't mean it... and end up getting suspended anyway. Players also frequently get suspended for "striking" which constitutes slapping another player like a girl, and "wrestling" which involves rolling on the floor tugging another player. Basically, it's just one odd game that only victorians really care about.