I found this in the nzherald.
How to shower like a woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper. Wear bathrobe to shower. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair with cucumber and sage shampoo. Wash again. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when your other half flushes the toilet and scalds you. Turn off the shower. Wipe down all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super-absorbent second towel.
How to shower like a man: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Wash your bits. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off. Shampoo your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom fan and light on. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. Throw wet towel on the bed.
How to shower like a woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper. Wear bathrobe to shower. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair with cucumber and sage shampoo. Wash again. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. Scream loudly when your other half flushes the toilet and scalds you. Turn off the shower. Wipe down all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super-absorbent second towel.
How to shower like a man: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Wash your bits. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off. Shampoo your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom fan and light on. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. Throw wet towel on the bed.
