Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"
What do you call a woman with one leg?
- Ilene
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?
- Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
- Bob
What did the left nut say to the right nut?
- The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard!
What do you call an anorexic with thrush?
- A quarter pounder with cheese!
Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
- Cause he was caught with seaweed.
WHAT DID THE GHOST SAY TO THE BEE?
- BOO-BEE
Whats best about shagging Twenty - Eight year olds?
- There is Twenty of them!
How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?
- Give the b!tch a shovel
The fight we had last night was my fault,
- my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.
Boys are like parking spaces the good ones are take-in!!!
There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.
A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff
Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath
Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "God it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"
The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"
What do you call a woman with one leg?
- Ilene
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?
- Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
- Bob
What did the left nut say to the right nut?
- The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard!
What do you call an anorexic with thrush?
- A quarter pounder with cheese!
Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
- Cause he was caught with seaweed.
WHAT DID THE GHOST SAY TO THE BEE?
- BOO-BEE
Whats best about shagging Twenty - Eight year olds?
- There is Twenty of them!
How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?
- Give the b!tch a shovel
The fight we had last night was my fault,
- my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.
Boys are like parking spaces the good ones are take-in!!!
There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?
The one on the range.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head.
A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff
Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath
Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "God it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"
