abaddon_67
School Cricketer
Some of these would surely be known to u guys .. But the rest are sure to make u chuckle atleast .
Subject: Cricket Sledging
Sledging..............
? McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's dick taste
like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll effing
rip your effing throat out."
? Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting
2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it
eating," Cullinan retorted.
? Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
During a test match in the West Indies, hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but
continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture.
Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply,
but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we
just say f**k *ff.".
? And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which
was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for
a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You
don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"
? Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player to the crease
playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple
years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you're fcuking useless now".
Parore- (Turningaround) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going
out with that old, ugly **** & now I hear you've married her. You dumb
****".
? Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his
bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at
the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are
you so fat?" Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make
love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit." Even the Aussie slip fielders
were in hysterics.
? Merv Hughes & Robin Smith
Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test between
England and Australia. Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the
Hampshire star: "You can't f***ing bat, mate." Smith then smashed the next
ball to the boundary and replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. "I can't
f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."
? Merv Hughes again!!
Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan.
Hughes was less than impressed when Javed called him a "fat bus conductor"
as the pair squared up to one another. A few balls later, Hughes got his man
and as Javed walked past, could not resist shouting "Tickets, please!"
? oye...this involves Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel.....Steve
Waugh...Last Test...comes up to bat...
PArthiv-"so this is your last test...show us some of that famous sledging of
yours." Steve-"Respect Me...For when i made my test debut You were still in
your nappies"
? Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv
missed
a superb out swinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5
1/2 ounces." Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for a 6 and
replies,"Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"
? Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first
slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word.
At
the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I
should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is classic Trueman, "Not
you, son. Your mother should've!"
? A classic from the master of sledging, Ian Healy:
Ben Hollioake had just made his debut, hitting Glenn McGrath in the process.
On his way back after finally being dismissed, Shane Warne cried: 'Hey, Ben'
Hollioake turned round expecting a pat on the back. Instead Healy came in
from behind and said: 'Get back to the nets, you idiot.'
? this is the one and only javed miandad vs dilip doshi...javed bhai
at the crease, doshi bowling...the players' hotel was quite near the
stadium...
javed: "arre doshi apna room number to bataa"
nothing from doshi
next ball, javed asks again...still nothing when the over ends..."arre ab to
over khatam ho gaya, ab to bataa de" doshi finally relents.."216" (or
watever) "agle over mein ball wahin maaroonga"
? another one, ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember
who, and don't want to slander anyone
) shastri hits it to this guy and
looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the
crease i'll break your f***ing head"
shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the
f***ing 12th man"
Subject: Cricket Sledging
Sledging..............
? McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's dick taste
like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll effing
rip your effing throat out."
? Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting
2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it
eating," Cullinan retorted.
? Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
During a test match in the West Indies, hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but
continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture.
Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply,
but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we
just say f**k *ff.".
? And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which
was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for
a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You
don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"
? Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player to the crease
playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple
years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you're fcuking useless now".
Parore- (Turningaround) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going
out with that old, ugly **** & now I hear you've married her. You dumb
****".
? Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his
bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at
the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are
you so fat?" Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make
love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit." Even the Aussie slip fielders
were in hysterics.
? Merv Hughes & Robin Smith
Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test between
England and Australia. Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the
Hampshire star: "You can't f***ing bat, mate." Smith then smashed the next
ball to the boundary and replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. "I can't
f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."
? Merv Hughes again!!
Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan.
Hughes was less than impressed when Javed called him a "fat bus conductor"
as the pair squared up to one another. A few balls later, Hughes got his man
and as Javed walked past, could not resist shouting "Tickets, please!"
? oye...this involves Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel.....Steve
Waugh...Last Test...comes up to bat...
PArthiv-"so this is your last test...show us some of that famous sledging of
yours." Steve-"Respect Me...For when i made my test debut You were still in
your nappies"
? Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv
missed
a superb out swinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5
1/2 ounces." Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for a 6 and
replies,"Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"
? Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first
slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word.
At
the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I
should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is classic Trueman, "Not
you, son. Your mother should've!"
? A classic from the master of sledging, Ian Healy:
Ben Hollioake had just made his debut, hitting Glenn McGrath in the process.
On his way back after finally being dismissed, Shane Warne cried: 'Hey, Ben'
Hollioake turned round expecting a pat on the back. Instead Healy came in
from behind and said: 'Get back to the nets, you idiot.'
? this is the one and only javed miandad vs dilip doshi...javed bhai
at the crease, doshi bowling...the players' hotel was quite near the
stadium...
javed: "arre doshi apna room number to bataa"
nothing from doshi
next ball, javed asks again...still nothing when the over ends..."arre ab to
over khatam ho gaya, ab to bataa de" doshi finally relents.."216" (or
watever) "agle over mein ball wahin maaroonga"
? another one, ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember
who, and don't want to slander anyone
) shastri hits it to this guy andlooks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the
crease i'll break your f***ing head"
shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the
f***ing 12th man"
