qpeedore
SOTM Winner - July 2014
Okay, so I'm not quite sure, I think there used to be a whole Creative Writing section of this forum, of which Cricket stories was just a part of it...maybe I'm having the Mandela Effect here or maybe I'm not.
Anyways, so I've been getting back into writing flashes recently. What's a flash? Well, people tend to define it as a story under a certain umber of words (usually less than 1000). I define it as any story I write in less than 15 minutes. Might not be a full story, might not give you everything, but as a standalone, it holds up. Think of it as...maybe...the Star Wars movies, maybe? You can watch a single movie by itself and you don't necessarily need to watch the others to make sense of everything, but it helps.
The best flashes are those that tell an entire story in those few words.
I dunno, I had a bit of an internet outage earlier today and for some reason instead of playing offline games or watching regular TV, I felt the need to write. And it reminded me of how I used to write back in the day. Which I totally loved, by the way.
Now these aren't polished products, half the time they're barely even edited. Grammar/tense/spelling/typos might abound. But who cares? It's just random.
Today I wrote an installment for a whole story I've always wanted to get started on about Trinidad folklore and legends. Think something like Men in Black and that Fantastical Beasts Harry Potter movies, but for Trinidad.
"The Soucouyant"
A lot of people don't realise that while watching Sesame Street growing up that they were actually learning a lot of things that would scare even adults today. The Count von Count? Do you know why he enjoyed counting things? It's because of the old eastern European legends of vampires. Throw salt over your shoulder, a vampire must stop to count every grain until either disturbed or they're done. Hence the counting. Makes the "one, one bat...two, two bats," thing a bit creepier, huh?
In Trinidad, we have it worse. I remember the first time I went with uncle Johann for a soucouyant. Now for those of you that don't know, a little backstory...those of you that do know can maybe skip the next few lines.
A soucouyant is both a witch and a vampire all rolled up into one. She's an old maiden (and that being the old English sense of the word, she's never been laid with, in the Biblical sense, her life) and she has sold her soul to the devil in exchange for a lifetime to find her eventual mate (hence the witch). She usually lives in an old shack somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and sucks the blood of livestock to keep living (hence the vampire...Chupacabra has got nothing on Trinidad, although I've dealth with them before...another story, however). The whole salt thing, you're supposed to leave it at a crossroad at night (although anywhere can do in a pinch, get it...a pinch of salt...my attempt at a pun) and then go rub pepper sauce in her skin before she returns. Oh, skin? Yeah...she wears someone else's skin during the day then sheds it before she goes to hunt for men and animals. Makes you wonder if that creepy old lady at the grocery store was really...just a creepy old lady or something more, huh?
Uncle said that...well we have to visit a "sucker" tonight. He wasn't very specific about it, and I'm by now very used to just listening to him and shutting up about it. When I picked him up at his house, his friend Ren put a briefcase in the back seat of the car. I'd been so accustomed to Rennie doing random things like that...I didn't even bother.
Uncle came shortly after. "Damien, my boy," he said, "We're off. Head down the highway south..I'll let you know when you'll turn off." He looked up at the night sky. "We might meet Serah before we're done tonight too."
This time it was my turn to look above at the sky. "The moon isn't that high or that full either," I said..."And with this lockdown she isn't likely to be out so late either."
Uncle grunted. "Heh, boy before this night is up I expect to see Serah, you trust me on that."
I knew better than to mistrust him and I drove. Even with curfew in effect, police vehicles would either seem to actively avoid us, or find someone else to stop. After three hours of driving with Uncle directing me in the last hour over some roads (and some places where the word "road" should never apply) we stopped outside of a small house.
"Quiet now," uncle snarled, "We don't want to scare her, she's not likely to be in a good mood."
Uncle reached in the back and opened the briefcase, pulling out a small bag of salt.
"Listen here and watch me," he said, "Salt is powerful. She HAS to stop to count it, but we don't want her up all night doing so. And you do NOT want the salt to go in a circle. She'll never approach a salt circle. Too iffy for her."
He took, what I swear was about the smallest pinch of salt I've ever seen, and threw it out of the window, grabbed the still open briefcase and hustled out of the car. "Do NOT leave the car, no matter what you see or hear." Those were his last words to me.
I sat there, waiting. I didn't know what to do otherwise. The radio never worked in any car I'd ever owned, so it wasn't like I had any entertainment. Then I saw a light behind me. Approaching fast. Orange, almost like...oh crap it was...a fireball. A literal fireball. And almost as soon as I was about to crouch under the dashboard and hope I die quickly, it stopped. No glow, no nothing.
I looked outside. A sweet little old lady was there, searching on the ground, pecking at it with her fingers. Almost as if her thumb and forefinger was a chicken. And she kept counting.
"One, two...where's...ah, three, four, five...oh, my there's a lot of you here. Six...seven..."
She took no notice of me. I wanted to go tell Uncle. But he said do not leave, and so I sat. Until I saw Uncle coming out of the small house. Suddenly the woman dropped the heap of salt she had by then been collecting and flew at him. The orange glow...no, the orange inferno...began again. I had to shut my eyes, it was that bright. I only heard the car door open and then shut in rapid succession before uncle's voice cut through my blindness.
"DRIVE, BOY!"
I threw the car into reverse. Don't know how the hell I got back to the highway. Probably reversing the car all the way. With shaking hands and white knuckles from gripping the steering wheel so tight, I finally found my voice somewhere around Couva.
"Uncle?"
He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder, which for some reason always had the effect of instantly calming me down.
"Boy that was a blood sucker, a soucouyant, as it were. And she wasn't very friendly. But I think she'll not bother many people after tonight."
I remembered the legends. "Did you," I began, "Did you find her skin and put pepper in it?"
Uncle chuckled.
"No boy, the old lady had her teeth falling out. You try sucking the blood out of a nice cow with no teeth. You'd rip it to pieces with your bare hands just to get to the blood. I left her a new set of dentures and a receipt for two cows at a farm I know of. She's angry, boy, but she ain't exactly without reason. And don't worry, the darling cows are almost done with their natural lives, they're milk cows, not food cows."
Huh. I could only drive further thinking about Count von Count and the cows jumping over the moon on Sesame Street.
That's today. Sorry if any typos/tense changes/etc.
The next one I'd like to share is actually one of my favourites. This one was off of a prompt and the title was "still waters" and you had to base your story on that. It had a word limit, not sure what it was. I never edited my entry, but by eyeballing it again, it has to have been either 150 or 200 words. This is another of my favourite types of flashes. Give you enough of a story to make you wonder. Cliffhangers don't work well in full novels, but they do beautifully in flashes.
"Still Waters"
He opens his eyes and is a bit surprised to find that he can see the night sky again. The moon has reappeared and is shining brightly. He sits up and looks across the surface of the water.
Nothing.
He goes to leave, but something catches his eye. There is something floating on the water in the middle of the lake. He shines his flashlight on it and almost jumps backwards in shock.
He throws the device to the floor. Being sturdy, it does not break or even go out. It rolls and the light again shines across the water’s surface. He wishes that he could not see.
Rather, he wishes that he could see something else. A body, even. Not what is currently there. At least death would give him a definite answer.
Instead, her pink nightgown floats silently in the middle of the lake.
I don't even know if these things are worth views, but I've got a ton more and then more left waiting to come out of me. Wish we did have a creative writing section on here again.
Anyways, so I've been getting back into writing flashes recently. What's a flash? Well, people tend to define it as a story under a certain umber of words (usually less than 1000). I define it as any story I write in less than 15 minutes. Might not be a full story, might not give you everything, but as a standalone, it holds up. Think of it as...maybe...the Star Wars movies, maybe? You can watch a single movie by itself and you don't necessarily need to watch the others to make sense of everything, but it helps.
The best flashes are those that tell an entire story in those few words.
I dunno, I had a bit of an internet outage earlier today and for some reason instead of playing offline games or watching regular TV, I felt the need to write. And it reminded me of how I used to write back in the day. Which I totally loved, by the way.
Now these aren't polished products, half the time they're barely even edited. Grammar/tense/spelling/typos might abound. But who cares? It's just random.
Today I wrote an installment for a whole story I've always wanted to get started on about Trinidad folklore and legends. Think something like Men in Black and that Fantastical Beasts Harry Potter movies, but for Trinidad.
"The Soucouyant"
A lot of people don't realise that while watching Sesame Street growing up that they were actually learning a lot of things that would scare even adults today. The Count von Count? Do you know why he enjoyed counting things? It's because of the old eastern European legends of vampires. Throw salt over your shoulder, a vampire must stop to count every grain until either disturbed or they're done. Hence the counting. Makes the "one, one bat...two, two bats," thing a bit creepier, huh?
In Trinidad, we have it worse. I remember the first time I went with uncle Johann for a soucouyant. Now for those of you that don't know, a little backstory...those of you that do know can maybe skip the next few lines.
A soucouyant is both a witch and a vampire all rolled up into one. She's an old maiden (and that being the old English sense of the word, she's never been laid with, in the Biblical sense, her life) and she has sold her soul to the devil in exchange for a lifetime to find her eventual mate (hence the witch). She usually lives in an old shack somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and sucks the blood of livestock to keep living (hence the vampire...Chupacabra has got nothing on Trinidad, although I've dealth with them before...another story, however). The whole salt thing, you're supposed to leave it at a crossroad at night (although anywhere can do in a pinch, get it...a pinch of salt...my attempt at a pun) and then go rub pepper sauce in her skin before she returns. Oh, skin? Yeah...she wears someone else's skin during the day then sheds it before she goes to hunt for men and animals. Makes you wonder if that creepy old lady at the grocery store was really...just a creepy old lady or something more, huh?
Uncle said that...well we have to visit a "sucker" tonight. He wasn't very specific about it, and I'm by now very used to just listening to him and shutting up about it. When I picked him up at his house, his friend Ren put a briefcase in the back seat of the car. I'd been so accustomed to Rennie doing random things like that...I didn't even bother.
Uncle came shortly after. "Damien, my boy," he said, "We're off. Head down the highway south..I'll let you know when you'll turn off." He looked up at the night sky. "We might meet Serah before we're done tonight too."
This time it was my turn to look above at the sky. "The moon isn't that high or that full either," I said..."And with this lockdown she isn't likely to be out so late either."
Uncle grunted. "Heh, boy before this night is up I expect to see Serah, you trust me on that."
I knew better than to mistrust him and I drove. Even with curfew in effect, police vehicles would either seem to actively avoid us, or find someone else to stop. After three hours of driving with Uncle directing me in the last hour over some roads (and some places where the word "road" should never apply) we stopped outside of a small house.
"Quiet now," uncle snarled, "We don't want to scare her, she's not likely to be in a good mood."
Uncle reached in the back and opened the briefcase, pulling out a small bag of salt.
"Listen here and watch me," he said, "Salt is powerful. She HAS to stop to count it, but we don't want her up all night doing so. And you do NOT want the salt to go in a circle. She'll never approach a salt circle. Too iffy for her."
He took, what I swear was about the smallest pinch of salt I've ever seen, and threw it out of the window, grabbed the still open briefcase and hustled out of the car. "Do NOT leave the car, no matter what you see or hear." Those were his last words to me.
I sat there, waiting. I didn't know what to do otherwise. The radio never worked in any car I'd ever owned, so it wasn't like I had any entertainment. Then I saw a light behind me. Approaching fast. Orange, almost like...oh crap it was...a fireball. A literal fireball. And almost as soon as I was about to crouch under the dashboard and hope I die quickly, it stopped. No glow, no nothing.
I looked outside. A sweet little old lady was there, searching on the ground, pecking at it with her fingers. Almost as if her thumb and forefinger was a chicken. And she kept counting.
"One, two...where's...ah, three, four, five...oh, my there's a lot of you here. Six...seven..."
She took no notice of me. I wanted to go tell Uncle. But he said do not leave, and so I sat. Until I saw Uncle coming out of the small house. Suddenly the woman dropped the heap of salt she had by then been collecting and flew at him. The orange glow...no, the orange inferno...began again. I had to shut my eyes, it was that bright. I only heard the car door open and then shut in rapid succession before uncle's voice cut through my blindness.
"DRIVE, BOY!"
I threw the car into reverse. Don't know how the hell I got back to the highway. Probably reversing the car all the way. With shaking hands and white knuckles from gripping the steering wheel so tight, I finally found my voice somewhere around Couva.
"Uncle?"
He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder, which for some reason always had the effect of instantly calming me down.
"Boy that was a blood sucker, a soucouyant, as it were. And she wasn't very friendly. But I think she'll not bother many people after tonight."
I remembered the legends. "Did you," I began, "Did you find her skin and put pepper in it?"
Uncle chuckled.
"No boy, the old lady had her teeth falling out. You try sucking the blood out of a nice cow with no teeth. You'd rip it to pieces with your bare hands just to get to the blood. I left her a new set of dentures and a receipt for two cows at a farm I know of. She's angry, boy, but she ain't exactly without reason. And don't worry, the darling cows are almost done with their natural lives, they're milk cows, not food cows."
Huh. I could only drive further thinking about Count von Count and the cows jumping over the moon on Sesame Street.
That's today. Sorry if any typos/tense changes/etc.
The next one I'd like to share is actually one of my favourites. This one was off of a prompt and the title was "still waters" and you had to base your story on that. It had a word limit, not sure what it was. I never edited my entry, but by eyeballing it again, it has to have been either 150 or 200 words. This is another of my favourite types of flashes. Give you enough of a story to make you wonder. Cliffhangers don't work well in full novels, but they do beautifully in flashes.
"Still Waters"
He opens his eyes and is a bit surprised to find that he can see the night sky again. The moon has reappeared and is shining brightly. He sits up and looks across the surface of the water.
Nothing.
He goes to leave, but something catches his eye. There is something floating on the water in the middle of the lake. He shines his flashlight on it and almost jumps backwards in shock.
He throws the device to the floor. Being sturdy, it does not break or even go out. It rolls and the light again shines across the water’s surface. He wishes that he could not see.
Rather, he wishes that he could see something else. A body, even. Not what is currently there. At least death would give him a definite answer.
Instead, her pink nightgown floats silently in the middle of the lake.
I don't even know if these things are worth views, but I've got a ton more and then more left waiting to come out of me. Wish we did have a creative writing section on here again.