blackleopard92
Panel of Selectors
January to December
Sunday to Saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed..... ..
u....
R....
always....
a HEADACHE to me !!!!
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds..... .
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a fool........ ....
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
A guy to his GF :
I wrote ur name on the sands....... ......
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air......... ......... ........
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart....... ......
i got a HEART ATTACK
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes...
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence ...
Student : WOW !
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age Hitler commited suicide
Product Labels
Label instructions on consumer products, translated from the original languages...
1. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
2. On the bottle-top of a (UK ) flavoured milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
3. In a USguide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
4. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.
5. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
6. On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
7. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
8. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
9. On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
10. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
11. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
=======================================================
=======================================================
Two people are standing on a boat.And the boat is all over surrounded by sea water.Now a guy want to smoke a cigarette and he is not having a match stick.
So can you tell how he can smoke that cigarette ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He will throw the other guy out of the boat.
The boat will become "lighter" and now he can smoke his cigarette.
Sunday to Saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed..... ..
u....
R....
always....
a HEADACHE to me !!!!
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds..... .
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a fool........ ....
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
A guy to his GF :
I wrote ur name on the sands....... ......
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air......... ......... ........
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart....... ......
i got a HEART ATTACK
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes...
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence ...
Student : WOW !
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir....
------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ --------- -
Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age Hitler commited suicide
Product Labels
Label instructions on consumer products, translated from the original languages...
1. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
2. On the bottle-top of a (UK ) flavoured milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
3. In a USguide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
4. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.
5. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
6. On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
7. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
8. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
9. On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
10. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
11. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
=======================================================
=======================================================
Two people are standing on a boat.And the boat is all over surrounded by sea water.Now a guy want to smoke a cigarette and he is not having a match stick.
So can you tell how he can smoke that cigarette ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He will throw the other guy out of the boat.
The boat will become "lighter" and now he can smoke his cigarette.
