Graham Thorpe dies aged 55

[icyman]

Fairs this is the worst take I've ever seen. Have a think about what you're saying ffs

How is it the worst ? You don't like it mate, so be it.

Families who lose people to suicide are far more likely to be stressed out. Suicide will come as a shock the remaining family members.

Assisted exits will allow the next of kin to spend some time with the person and make their last days more bearable.

 

[Supreme General]

How is it the worst ? You don't like it mate, so be it.

Families who lose people to suicide are far more likely to be stressed out. Suicide will come as a shock the remaining family members.

Assisted exits will allow the next of kin to spend some time with the person and make their last days more bearable.

Genuinely, shut up

 

[wasteyouryouth]

How is it the worst ? You don't like it mate, so be it.

Families who lose people to suicide are far more likely to be stressed out. Suicide will come as a shock the remaining family members.

Assisted exits will allow the next of kin to spend some time with the person and make their last days more bearable.

TLDR - I can't help but feel we should be celebrating Graham Thorpe the cricketer, regardless of the manner of his death, rather than discussing attitudes toward suicide. However, I believe discussing the issue and mental health problems openly is one way to breakdown stigma and encourange more empathetic attitudes towards those suffering with mental health problems. If even one person, that might be having their own struggles, is helped - by feeling more comfortable, confident or that they are not alone in their suffering - I think that's a good thing.

In a rare plot twist I'm actually going defend icyman and take his statement in good faith. I don't know his personal experience in this area, but I have first hand experience from both sides. Having thought about it, his take is quite idealistic but ultimately at odds with attitudes towards suicide (at least in the UK/west) and the reality of the society we live in. It's a far more complex issue than sitting down and explaining to their family they don't want to be here anymore.

There are very old-fashioned views of suicide (heavily influenced by Christan attitudes which are not helpful) and sometimes contradictory to opinions people hold in respect to assisted suicide. If someone has terminal cancer or degenertaive disease then many people will support an individual's right to dictate the terms of their death. However, for those with psychological issues it strikes me that those view. That's possibly down to the inbalance we give physical vs mental health problems. And, there are differences, but it often seems like we want to take away someone's agency when it comes to mental health problems, across the board, when I think it requires greater nuance.

If we, the UK (probably most countries), had a better approaches to mental health care for those suffering from severe disorders, better outcomes and the number of suicides reduced significantly. For those who are beyond help, or able to assert that they do not want to go on, then I do think giving the option of assisted suicide is humane and dignified. However, treatment is one thing but the causes and contributing factors should be addressed to. There are many societal conditions that contribute and exacerbate mental health problems.

Should someone just be able to book a flight to Switzerland or the Netherlands? Personally, I don't think so, not without being provided all possible avenues of support and care to help them overcome or manage their problems. The lack of sufficient mental health services in this country leave us a long way from that.

My personal views on suicide are quite fluid and evolved a lot over the years. Albert Camus' book 'The Myth of Sisyphus' was life-changing for me. Without boring everyone with my clumsy interpretation, it gave me a fresh perspective, seeing living as an act of defiance. However, French existential philosophy isn't going to help everyone. There's incredible stigma around mental health problems that can make it incredibly difficult to seek help. It took me far too long to get support and since I did it's been ongoing. While I have had positive breakthroughs in the last 12 months it is still a day-to-day fight to get by.

I don't know anything more about Graham Thorpe's circumstances than has been reported and the statements of his family. It's a tragic situation for those left behind but it's positive that they want to talk openly and stating that there shouldn't be a stigma around it.

 

[Aislabie]

Yes, it was suicide. The article also says he attempted it once before as well. Just got me thinking, why didn't they have a proper program for him? Or if he really wanted to end it all, why not do it in Switzerland, where euthanasia is legal?

Assisted suicide gives the family some time to come to grips with his decision. A suicide is bound to send shockwaves.

My point being, had he opted for an assisted exit, his family would have been less stressed.

How is it the worst ? You don't like it mate, so be it.

Families who lose people to suicide are far more likely to be stressed out. Suicide will come as a shock the remaining family members.

Assisted exits will allow the next of kin to spend some time with the person and make their last days more bearable.

I wasn't going to engage with such misinformed posts, but since you insist on doubling and tripling down I guess I'll bite. I'm going to answer your posts in bullet points because it makes my life easier.

• Yes, Graham Thorpe did end his own life. His family have shared that he also had a history of one very serious prior attempt that left him in intensive care for a prolonged time, and that he had a history of severe mental health struggles dating back at least 20 years.
• You ask "Why didn't they have a proper program for him?" - It is obvious from the information available to us that Thorpe will have had considerable medical support, as well as interpersonal support from his close family and friends. His family have explained as much as they feel comfortable sharing, and it is clear that they took every step possible to help Thorpe with his attempted recovery over a period of a minimum of two years.
• There are some countries where euthanasia (see also "assisted dying" and "assisted suicide") are legal. The United Kingdom is not one of them. In countries that do have a legal framework in place for this, it is very strictly regulated for obvious reasons. To be assessed as a suitable candidate, you usually must be either terminally ill, or in a constant state of intolerable physical pain with no hope of recovery. You must also pass a stringent psychological assessment to confirm that you are of sound mind and not under any duress to make the decision to end your own life. Mental illness is not considered to be grounds for assisted dying in any territory (it was mooted in Canada before they decided against it). Mental illness is in fact a disqualifying factor in any territory where assisted dying is legal.
• If we assume that Thorpe had been able to navigate this framework and end his life in such a manner, then his family could face prosecution in the UK if they had knowledge of his plans, even if they took no steps to assist him with those plans themselves.
• You mention that "families who lose people to suicide are far more likely to be stressed out". This is undeniably the truest thing you say in any of the quoted posts, but it is also a gross understatement. A close friend of mine lost a relative to suicide in their teens, and while I cannot speak for them "stressed out" is a such a reductive way of describing the life-long impact that this bereavement has had on them.
• Some members on this site have experienced suicide attempts or suicidal ideation. I am one of the latter group, though I did not ultimately make an attempt on my own life. I have since recovered, and while I understand that I could occasionally experience mental health difficulties in the future (as I have done since), I have also been able to create a situation for myself where I have appropriate support to help me in those situations. I am very lucky, but I am by no means alone. Taking one's own life is a permanent response to a temporary problem, and it is in almost all circumstances not a solution.
• You imply that Thorpe's loved ones did not have the opportunity to spend time with him due to his decision to take his own life, and this is not a fair representation of their own description of events. It is clear from their own descriptions of events that they had spent huge amounts of time with Thorpe over a period of years, and that they had noticed his mental health continue to decline and attempted to get him helpful support. Although his illness ultimately led him to take his own life, Thorpe's family supported him in having every possible opportunity to make steps towards his recovery. It is a tragedy - and most certainly nobody's fault - that his illness ultimately won. His family were fully aware that he was experiencing suicidal ideation.

I am not debating you on the merits of assisted dying. I am objecting to you so confidently stating a misinformed opinion that does not engage with the reality of the situation as we know it.

I hope this post helps you to understand why you have received an overwhelmingly negative response to your posts in this thread.

 

[Fenil]

It was suicide

England cricketer Graham Thorpe took his own life, his wife reveals

The left-handed Surrey batsman, a talisman for England and hero for many who grew up watching cricket in the 1990s, died aged just 55.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Sad, really sad. Having been through mental trauma myself for about 3 years and still having flashbacks, I can relate to how absolutely disturbing and internally destroying it is.

TBH, I only saw him play at the fag hand of his career wherein I can recall he played some resilient innings.

Suicide may seem very coward but let me tell you it takes a lot of thought and helplessness behind it. That said, I wish nobody has to go through any such circumstances.

 

[WubbaLubbaDubDub]

I am sorry for Cricket fraternities loss, may his memory be a blessing. Suicide or Assisted Suicide, someone was going through a lot! He is gone, let him and his family be at peace. fearsome tweak the media about talking shit of what he had done or not as @Neptune mentioned.

 

[WubbaLubbaDubDub]

Graham Thorpe struck by train; family confirms he 'took his own life'

"We are not ashamed of talking about it - there is nothing to hide and it is not a stigma," Thorpe's elder daughter Kitty says

www.espncricinfo.com

And now the details are out, he was struck by train! Absolutely horrific!

 

[Dutch]

Having read through the last few pages I would certainly commend people for sharing their thoughts and experiences. However I think we need to be careful of generalization and indeed remember that Graham was a well know and much appreciated cricketer and coach but above all he was a husband and father and friend.

The value of openly talking about our mental health struggles and needs shouldn’t be underestimated but tact is paramount when discussing the mental health of others.

Talking is the life boat of the soul.