Moderators are grown in small test tubes and once mature fed on cucumber sandwiches until they jolly well like them. Then they are strapped into a chair and forced to watch 360000 hours of cricket matches non stop. If they survive that they then have keyboard interfaces surgically implanted in place of their hands so they can play cricket games with one hand and moderate with the other. As a final test they are shown a big pile of cornish pasties and the first to eat them all becomes a moderator.
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