blake
School Cricketer
How to become a valued member of PlanetCricket (The user guide by Blake).
1. The first option that many of our users take is what I like to call the curry munching route. This involves signing up as a subcontinental member with your nationality either Indian or Pakistani and then posting terribly thought out posts with little to no grammar. Actual opinions and ideas are not welcome if they have been thought out and your posts should not resemble anything that you have thought about at all. The best way I find to post correctly is to just go to a thread and mash the keys quickly, preferably hitting a combination of 'i fink india team very strong yuvraj yuvraj yuvraj!! he star twenty20 player and i wish i was good as him i only hit 197 in test then i cry'. The final element of this is the smilies part, you just have to hover your mouse over the smilies tab and then shut your eyes and click blindly as fast as you can making sure that you hit a lot of dancing bananas and cheerleaders. It is ideal if these smilies are located in unstrategic locations through your post.
PlanetCricket is represented by 60% of these types of members and it has clearly become successful for them.
2. Another method which is a little bit harder to pull off is called the 'I'll never get laid' method. You should buy glasses, never wash your hair, be fairly obese and spend at least 12 hours in front of a computer each day to achieve a perfect computer tan. You should pronounce your words incomprehensibly in a computer lingo and it helps if the fat is blocking your throat. By the end of this you will know if you have succeeded if you never have the urge to talk to a girl. By now you should be staying clear of anything female except for maybe some night elves on World of Warcraft.
However, since it's probably a bit hard to describe the second method I'll let this video do it for me. MattW is a known perfectionist of this method and mastered it in no time. He didn't need to worry about the girls part though because even before attempting this method he had never spoken to a girl his own age in his life except for one online, who was actually a man.
And that is how you become a valued member of PlanetCricket. If any valued members here wish to try and contradict me by posting something along the lines of 'you are not subcontinental so does that make you method 2'? I would like to remind you that I am clearly not a valued member of PlanetCricket and that is why I would like to give a hearty fu'ck you to the members of this shithouse forum.
Bye.
1. The first option that many of our users take is what I like to call the curry munching route. This involves signing up as a subcontinental member with your nationality either Indian or Pakistani and then posting terribly thought out posts with little to no grammar. Actual opinions and ideas are not welcome if they have been thought out and your posts should not resemble anything that you have thought about at all. The best way I find to post correctly is to just go to a thread and mash the keys quickly, preferably hitting a combination of 'i fink india team very strong yuvraj yuvraj yuvraj!! he star twenty20 player and i wish i was good as him i only hit 197 in test then i cry'. The final element of this is the smilies part, you just have to hover your mouse over the smilies tab and then shut your eyes and click blindly as fast as you can making sure that you hit a lot of dancing bananas and cheerleaders. It is ideal if these smilies are located in unstrategic locations through your post.
PlanetCricket is represented by 60% of these types of members and it has clearly become successful for them.
2. Another method which is a little bit harder to pull off is called the 'I'll never get laid' method. You should buy glasses, never wash your hair, be fairly obese and spend at least 12 hours in front of a computer each day to achieve a perfect computer tan. You should pronounce your words incomprehensibly in a computer lingo and it helps if the fat is blocking your throat. By the end of this you will know if you have succeeded if you never have the urge to talk to a girl. By now you should be staying clear of anything female except for maybe some night elves on World of Warcraft.
However, since it's probably a bit hard to describe the second method I'll let this video do it for me. MattW is a known perfectionist of this method and mastered it in no time. He didn't need to worry about the girls part though because even before attempting this method he had never spoken to a girl his own age in his life except for one online, who was actually a man.
And that is how you become a valued member of PlanetCricket. If any valued members here wish to try and contradict me by posting something along the lines of 'you are not subcontinental so does that make you method 2'? I would like to remind you that I am clearly not a valued member of PlanetCricket and that is why I would like to give a hearty fu'ck you to the members of this shithouse forum.
Bye.
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