Right, you're just wondering about one day when suddenly a masked gunman abducts you, you then wake up, your blindfold taken off and you're in a room with 2 men. The gunman holds his gun to your head and gives you a choice. Your first option is to go off with the other man, Graeme. He's a lovely little fella, nice shaven bald head, nice little Ben Sherman pink shirt, he works for an advertising company in Brighton, drives a sports car, and he loves you dearly.
You then have to live out the life of an outwardly gay man, spending the rest of your days with Graeme. Doing all the activity in the bedroom, going to the bars with him at 3 in the morning, cutting the back out of your leather pants at, just generally being affectionate towards eachother. You end up consumating your relationship with Graeme by getting married, and at the end of the marriage you do what they used to do in the olden days when the origins of the kiss where showing your 'love' in front of half of Brighton. So when the vicar would normally say 'you may now kiss the bride', he actually says 'Your may now knob the Aus'.
This may not sound like a fantastic option, and you may be thinking immediately that you'll go for the 2nd one. But, the 2nd option is your close family are killed, and you then have to live the rest of your life with a monkey. Living in a tree, with a monkey, eating bananas, other fruit and nuts and just living your life all alone with this monkey.
Your choice. Graeme or Bobo?