Your Cricket JC's Writings: Archie Jackson Tribute

[just_cricket]

This is where I plan to post my articles when I write them.
They won't be that frequent but hopefully some of you will enjoy them when I do post them...

To open up, a conspiracy theory about why New Zealand's batting hasn't been great lately:

Gray Nicolls: Operation Killing Kiwis

It?s cricket?s most secret underground activity ? no, it?s not matchfixing, drug abuse, or even the Pakistan Cricket Board ? it?s cricket company Gray Nicolls? top secret operation ?Kill Kiwis.?

Essentially it seems to involve the identifying of promising New Zealand cricketers, contracting them as sponsored players, and through various means, preventing them from being the stars they could have been.

The initiative was born after Matthew Sinclair, using Gunn and Moore gear, scored two double centuries in his first few tests. Fearing that this talented New Zealander might pose a threat to Australia, the Australian based Gray Nicolls devised a ?beta version? of Operation Kill Kiwis, With lures of large amounts of cash, they poached Sinclair from GM, and played on his slight weakness of foot movement to bring him down. Under a binding contract which still doesn?t allow Sinclair to change gear, they provided with him with ridiculously heavy pads ? trying to look flashy and ?innovative? but really just heavy and bulky bits of spare canvas and reinforced concrete, under the pathetic pretext ?Tradition meets Innovation.? Now having to carry an extra half of his body weight, ironically ?Skippy? would never skip again ? his only choice to stay rooted to the crease and rely on natural ability to make runs at first class level. Obviously his test career was brought to an abrupt end.

Next Gray Nicolls decided to stretch its arm a bit further and destroy another New Zealand double centurion. With offers of free beer and a lifetime supply of KFC, they snatched Jesse Ryder from Kookaburra as soon as he scored his 200 against India in 2009. Before the very next test of the series, they managed to make sure of his failure simply by making him look ridiculous. Forcing him to sport a ?space age? helmet which was initially mistaken by his teammates for a burnt watermelon with chunks cut out of it, Ryder just couldn?t feel the part and hasn?t made a half century in Test or ODI cricket since.

The most recent victim of the operation has been Kane Williamson. The youngster is tipped to be the next big thing after being MVP in the NZ Domestic circuit, and opening up with a hundred on his debut tour match for New Zealand, all with Puma cricket equipment, which he has used since his early teen years. Once again Gray Nicolls saw the opportunity to wipe out another Kiwi, and handed him some of their new cricket gear. Following the success of destroying Ryder by making him look horrible in their helmet, Gray Nicolls continued with this theme. They took a horse helmet, and bent some No. 8 wire into the shape of a grill, He was also made to feel an utter charlie by being forced to use an ?Ignite? bat. Presumably the design on the back is meant to be some sort of fire, given the name, but the graphic designer obviously works in a refrigerator company where there is no fire, as the ?flames? on the back of the bat are in the shape of two bananas.
Williamson registered a duck on his ODI debut.

With this insurmountable, empirical evidence, it is clear that Gray Nicolls are deliberately out to ruin New Zealand?s cricketing future.​

 

[riz7khan12]

With this insurmountable, empirical evidence, it is clear that Gray Nicolls are deliberately out to ruin New Zealand’s cricketing future

i'm not sure about this, but i love my gray-nicolls ignite thanks very much.

 

[Ollie_H]

Mate, why don't you submit them in the portal so they get on the front page?

 

[-D-S-B-]

Haha, good article JC. Quite funny that you've picked up on these things.

 

[Ollie_H]

Ahhh okay, I just read it . Good article, pretty funny. Probably worthy of Page 2 on cricinfo.

 

[Chewie]

We need a page 2 with JC's articles

 

[just_cricket]

Thanks guys. Hopefully Williamson will make me look silly by scoring a ton tonight!

 

[just_cricket]

This one's not a funny one at all, but a tribute to a guy I was reading about the other day. Probably not particularly entertaining for any of you but the odd person might appreciate something in it...

What might have been: Archie Jackson

​

The story of the only man who might have lived to rival the great Sir Donald Bradman as the best cricketer in history is a tale of promise, elegance, but ultimately tragedy ? that a man who had so much to offer was never given a sporting chance to do so.

There was no sight easier on the eye than Jackson, shirt sleeves let down to his wrists, leaning into a cover drive. With the grace of a ballet dancer and the power of a boxer, he made batting an art ? whereas Bradman relied on a largely scientific method to plunder runs, Jackson was the master of style.

Bradman was an architect - employing a faultless, if prosaic method, which allowed him to design an almost mathematical solution to counter any problem ? this is reflected in his unrivalled weight of runs, and consistency any other could only dream of.

Yet Jackson was more of a painter ? he possessed a vast array of bright, vibrant colours in his palate, could draw on all varieties of media to good effect, and had perfected all the strokes. He could draw on all these colours, materials and techniques, and make them flow together into a masterpiece.

Nevertheless, he deserves more than to be compared with Bradman, and be celebrated as the genius he was in his own right. As a teenage prodigy, he broke on to the first class scene at the age of 17, and at 20 became the youngest Australian to score a century on test debut, with a sublime 164. In the two years that ensued, he reigned supreme as the most entertaining player in the world, characterised by his supple wrists which made the bat ?appear a whip in his hands?, and his sparkling footwork, more nimble and precise than any of his contemporaries.

However as his successes mounted, his health faltered. The same sleeves which had once been rolled down as a classical, almost cavalier notion were now kept below his wrists to cover the blemishes on his arms caused by skin disease. His teammates say that when he returned to the pavilion after a particularly majestic century, he was limp from exhaustion, and needed to be ?mopped with wet towels.? In the early season of 1931-32, he was withdrawn from a match after coughing blood ? it was soon revealed he had tuberculosis. Although determined to keep playing the game he loved, his health deteriorated to such an extent that he became the youngest test cricketer to die, at the age of 23.

How cruel it was that the game he loved cut him short when he had the rest of his life to offer it. How sad that the puissant impression he gave of himself on the cricket field was overwhelmed by the frailties of his physical wellbeing. How tragic that, although he ought to be remembered as one of the game?s greatest stylists, this will always be overshadowed by his downfall, and he is remembered as a desperately unfortunate genius.

But a genius he was, nonetheless.​

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[Bounce]

This one surely deserves a place on the Homepage of PlanetCricket.

 

[AkshayS]

That was a great article JC, I'm impressed, though I've not heard of Jackson much, this article made me respect him at highest peak.:hpraise