saurabh2185
International Cricketer
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon
Student: The brain is a wonder full thing
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
TEACHER : What shape is the world in?
Pupil : Rotten !
TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it.
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !
TEACHER :What's you name ?
Class : Ravi
TEACHER : You should say "Sir"
Pupil : OK, Sir Ravi !
TEACHER : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil : Life imprisonment !
TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family
Pupil : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !
TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon ?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night !
TEACHER : Ravi, can you find me Australia on the map please ?
Pupil :There it is
TEACHER : Now, Ravi, who discovered Australia ?
Pupil : I did !
Pupil : I wished we lived in the olden days
TEACHER : Why is that ?
TEACHER :What kind of birds do you find in captivity?
Pupil : Jailbirds !
TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil :Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ?
Pupil : Twins !
TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !
TEACHER :: I despair, Ravi, how do you manage to get so many things wrong in a day ?
Pupil : Because I always get here early sir !
TEACHER : What do we do with crude oil ?
Pupil : Teach it some manners !
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?
He had a bee in his suit of armour !
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!
Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!
No offence.
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon
Student: The brain is a wonder full thing
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER :On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
TEACHER : What shape is the world in?
Pupil : Rotten !
TEACHER : Why does you geography exam have a big zero over it.
Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead !
TEACHER :What's you name ?
Class : Ravi
TEACHER : You should say "Sir"
Pupil : OK, Sir Ravi !
TEACHER : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil : Life imprisonment !
TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family
Pupil : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !
TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon ?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night !
TEACHER : Ravi, can you find me Australia on the map please ?
Pupil :There it is
TEACHER : Now, Ravi, who discovered Australia ?
Pupil : I did !
Pupil : I wished we lived in the olden days
TEACHER : Why is that ?
TEACHER :What kind of birds do you find in captivity?
Pupil : Jailbirds !
TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil :Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ?
Pupil : Twins !
TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ?
Pupil : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !
TEACHER :: I despair, Ravi, how do you manage to get so many things wrong in a day ?
Pupil : Because I always get here early sir !
TEACHER : What do we do with crude oil ?
Pupil : Teach it some manners !
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?
He had a bee in his suit of armour !
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all copycats!
Why does history keep repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first time!
Teacher: Are you good at math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!
No offence.
