The funny thread

[ramboy]

Originally posted by bharat_88+Dec 4 2003, 04:13 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(bharat_88 @ Dec 4 2003, 04:13 PM)</div>

<!--QuoteBegin-amir51

@Nov 29 2003, 02:43 AM
bharat your joke was funny upto the pakistan part...i feel it is wrong of u to accuse us of blaming another country as india and any other country could also do the same...so please in the future...just think what u say

Amir I am not telling anything against you.If you find that my joke was wrong,I can also say that your joke on the Indian Cricket team is wrong.
You said that you had got the joke by e-mail.The joke which I have posted came in a newspaper(The Hindu). [/b]

For ur info bharat I also read the Hindu daily and have never come across such a joke,can u tell me the date if possible????
The Hindu is a reputed newspaper and I don't think they approve and publish such jokes

 

[imported_potter]

3 guys were invited to test a new Lie Detector Machine.

First guy:
I think I I can solve a 10th grade Maths paper in 30 mins
Lie detctor machine: Lie
First guy: ok ok ... in 1 hour
Lie detctor machine: Right

Second guy: I think i can solve a 9th grade physics paper in 2 hours.
Lie detctor machine: Lie
secong guy: ok ok .... 3 hours ...
Lie detctor machine: Right

Thir guy: I think ...
Lie detctor machine: Lie
________________________________________________

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost.
He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The woman below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.

The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"

_________________________________________________________

A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked -
"Sir, would you like to buy a a bottle of this mouthwash for $200.00?"

Aghast, the man said, "are you NUTS?, that's robbery!"

The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again -
"Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you for 1/2 price at $100.00?

Again, the man replies bluntly - "you must be crazy pal, now go away!"

The salesman then reaches into his briefcase and pulls out 2 brownies and begins munching away on one of them. He tells the irate guy -
"Sir, please share one of my brownies since I have annoyed you so much".

Unwrapping the brownie, the guy takes a bite; suddenly, the guys spits it out and says:
"HEY," he snarled, "this brownie tastes like crap!!!"

"It is," replied the salesman. "Wanna buy some mouthwash?"

 

[ramboy]

"How To Cook A Turkey"
aka "Thanksgiving Turkey for Dummies"
Step 1 : Go buy a turkey
Step 2 : Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3 : Put turkey in the oven
Step 4 : Take another two drinks of whiskey
Step 5 : Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6 : Take three more whiskeys of drink
Step 7 : Turn oven the on
Step 8 : Take four whisks of drinkey
Step 9 : Turk the bastey
Step 10 : Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11 : Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12 : Glass yourself another pour of whiskey
Step 13 : Bake the whiskey for four hours
Step 14 : Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15 : Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16 : Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17 : Turk the carvey
Step 18 : Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19 : Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass
????????????? of turkey
Step 20 : Bless the saying, pass and eat out

 

[nikhilverma]

i didn't understood...
:scratch:

 

[imported_potter]

Hey Nikhil, ramboy was trying to show us what are the disadvantages of drinking too much whisky. The recipe got all screwed up after drinking that much whisky.The recipe was on how to cook the turkey, but he ended up cooking whiskey i guess. Awsome joke ramboy : : .. keep them coming. :cheer:

 

[rasi]

Alright guys. My mistake. :sorry: :sorry:

( Well, it'd the Sardarji issue )

 

[imported_fuser]

Guys lovely jokes. Here's 1 from me - if u think it's mature - then go ahead and remove it.

:devilish:

There are just 4 ways of making Love. They are :
1) HAND IN HAND
2) THAT IN HAND
3) HAND IN THAT
4) THAT IN THAT

:devilish:

 

[ramboy]

: : : :

 

[nikhilverma]

these are semi-offensive jokes minor's can't understand them while elders burst out laughing.......
: : : : :

 

[imported_fuser]

: THESE JOKES R MEANT 2 B THAT WAY BRO. SO MINORS JUST GO 2 THE NXT JOKE AND ELDERS DO AS NIKHIL SAYS

(BY NIKHILVERMA Posted on Dec 10 2003, 04:12 PM)?? these are semi-offensive jokes minor's can't understand them while elders burst out laughing.......

 

[pal]

 

[sachin]

no offence or anything but that was lame.

 

[Nirav85]

i remeber i had too when i was in grade 9...it is kinda funny and weird...like u never think your teacher would say such words :wacko:

 

[sachin]

how oinking old are you?oldie : : : :

 

[pal]

The following joke is funny