why does irish dogs have flat faces ? because of her chasing parked cars!!!!......
A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.
The policeman said, `Take that sheep to the zoo, now.`
Next day the policeman sees the man with the sheep again.
The policeman stops the guy and says, `What on earth are you doing with that sheep?`
The guy says, `What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and now I`m taking him to the movies.`
RPHKR added 1 Minutes and 17 Seconds later...
Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on.
He said "It's O.J. again. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations."
"Donations!" I said, "How much you got so far?"
He said "about ten gallons."
:doh
RPHKR added 3 Minutes and 24 Seconds later...
Jesus Christ is dying on the cross, his disciples are gathered around, crying. Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, `Peter, come hither!` Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard. He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, `Peter, come hither!` So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and chops Peter`s arm off. Peter is getting a little pissed and wants to go back to his buddies, but again Jesus summons. The roman guard can`t believe that Peter is trying yet AGAIN to climb to the cross, and chops off another arm. Peter is now covered in blood and demented from the blow to the head and wants to call it a day. Jesus hoarsly croaks, `Peter, please, come to me!` By now, the roman gurad is tired of chopping limbs, so he lets Peter be. The faithful disciple struggles to climb the cross (without arms mind you) and after a long while he finally arrives at his Lord`s side. Hurting, suffering, bleeding, Peter looks into his Master`s eyes and asks, `yes, my Lord. What is it?` Jesus smiles lovingly and looks off into the distance as a weak smile plays across his face, `Look Peter, I can see your house from here!`
(please don't eat me)
