Interview Thread February/March 2010 Dutchad-Questions

Sorry about this, I will get questions sorted by this weekend, I have been busy ;)
 
It's not that hard :doh. I could do it now. All you have to do is multi quote them and then just select all, cut it and send them to dutch to answer. :facepalm
 
God, you suck at this Kieron.

What actually happens is, dutchad answers the questions, PM's you his answer's, you then create a thread put the questions and answers in it and get a staff member to sticky it. It's ain't difficult! :facepalm
 
Get some lager down you then somehow acquire a canoe
 
Your attempts at trying to be funny/cool are pitiful.
 
Okay I am taking this thing by the scruff of the neck. It is taking too long and I am sure the millions are desperately awaiting my mundane banter. I will post in four parts as the questions and answers are too long to post in one and it is easier to read anyway.

So: Part One and two. Remember I didn't think up the questions or ask to be interviewed.

Good day, dear people. The moment no-one has been waiting for; Dutchad reveals his soul to all and sundry. Thanks for the questions. Here we go.

The first question was sent in by a Mr hMarka from Texas: He wrote “Dear Mr Dutchad, is George W Bush a great President? Or was he the greatest President?”


The answer is of course no and no. Although he had a tough time of history to deal with, he probably created most of the problems himself. His whole goal seemed to be focused on getting Saddam for his daddy. He did however give a lot of money and support to Africa and the fight against AIDS. Ronald Reagan is my favourite recent American president.


Scion-sid asks:
Lady Gaga or Britney Spears?


Well it depends what you want me to do with them. If I have to listen to their music or discuss the permutations of global warming with them, then I will pass, but if I am allowed to shag them in a wild threesome in my caravan, then yes.

Sid also asks:
If you can only eat one thing for rest of your life then what will it be?


Well the obvious answer is: food.

Treva asks:
What would be your perfect three course meal?


To start a Mustard and Smoked Salmon soup, then a nice juicy steak with thick, fried potatoes and ample salad and to finish off hot apple crumble with ice cream and custard.

Highlander999:
What is it with women?


Ah women, wonderful creatures. They need to be listened to my friend. Then they are yours and will do anything you like. But first they need to feel as though you are interested in their little problems and insights into life.

Simbazz:
How awesome am I?


If we are using Collins Social Aptitude Module Indicator Test, about a 7.5 on a scale of one to ten. However basing my judgments on how much potential vcash you are willing to give me I would say at least 11 on a scale of one to ten.

hMarka asks:
How did you find Planetcricket and are you active on any other forums?


I bought BLIC 07 (sigh) and was looking for some patches and downloads to make it playable (failed) and stumbled on PC and had to become a member to download anything. However I didn’t start posting till July 2009 and now the rest is history (thank God.)

dutchad added 9 Minutes and 18 Seconds later...

part 2..............

A very interesting question from ste_mc_efc:
“How come when Old Biff stole the DeLorian and traveled from 2015 to 1955 to give Young Biff the Almanac, why didnt he return to an alternate version of 2015 even though when Marty and the Doc returned to 1985, it was an alternate reality to what they where expecting?”

It really gets me mad when people ask such obvious questions. Jeez. Don’t they teach anything anymore? It’s the Quantum Particle Expressive Field tension (Whitley and Scrubber 1996) that enables certain fragments of time to slip into own speed clusters, parallel to the main cosmic time framework. When gravitational pulsing is stronger (due to solar activity pulses) these fragments can be drawn into mainstream time components thereby seeming to occur out of sync although as Whitley and Scrubber so decisively pointed out these are only Metaphysical Ocular Derivatives and not genuine as such.

Mattfb:
If you could have dinner with any 5 people in the world, who would it be?

John Lennon, Allison Krauss, Ian Botham, my neighbours wife and Lassie. Frikkin awesome conversation that would be.

aussie1st:
Wellington/NZ or England?


Definitely Wellington. Such a brilliant city. The waterfront, the culture, the sports, the people, the relaxed atmosphere, nature all around. People cannot imagine how beautiful Wellington is as you look across from Eastbourne over the bay to the city. I miss it real bad…..

King Cricket:
Who, in your opinion, is dumber between George Bush and Lalit Modi?

Well they are not dumb. I might not agree with their thoughts and actions but people don’t get into those positions by being dumb. They are very clever and usually very manipulative. However they are both bent on some kind of world domination. But let’s face it; cricket will die without things like the IPL etcetera.

Pranav:
who do u tink iz da moist stupiderest memba on dis forum?

Well if it was based on grammar and spelling, you are doing a great job! (Joke! Pranav made my awesome signature so I love him to bits!) People who start slagging other off without humour or grace are intolerable. Racist members are the worst and need to be dealt with harshly.(unless they are British of course!:D)

Gazza:
What has been your strangest use of a (conductors) baton.

Ah sweet memories. I once fell in love with a girl whose father played in an orchestra. One day we went to see her father play. But the conductor was suddenly kidnapped by armed men from Bolivia. The orchestra was distraught. Who can play? Who can conduct us they screamed? My girlfriend and I were at that very moment snogging on the balcony of the theater. She did something very rude but pleasant at that moment and I shot up out of my seat. People thought I wanted to have a go. So I was pushed to the front. I struggled and fought but managed to bring that 747 down at Los Angeles airport without anyone being injured…oh wait, getting my stories mixed up.

ZoraxDoom:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Ah, depends on the sort: your Marmota monax generalis will do about 3 cubic meters an hour although some records show that this can tail off towards Groundhog Day. Your Marmota monax lumberjackis will do double this but they do use power tools.

Friend863:
Why Hmarka love you so much?

He finds me sad and pathetic and wants to give my much knocked self-esteem a lift.

KBC:
Intrigued by your user name, or perhaps i didn't read if you've mentioned, were your parents, grandparents, or any from your ancestry, Dutch? Did you ever take a DNA Test in your life?

No I am English through and through though I live in Holland. I have had numerous DNA tests taken in my life but can’t talk about them because of impending court cases.

Treva:
What's your favourite film and why?

It’s a little known Italian film that I was saw about two brothers who own a restaurant. Can’t for the life of me remember what it was called. But the music was beautiful and got me into wanting to play the guitar.
 
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:laugh

Love it mate, lets keep this interview concept going. I want to see Dare or Ste in the hot seat next.
 
:laugh

Love it mate, lets keep this interview concept going. I want to see Dare or Ste in the hot seat next.

Don't say that.

I'll buckle under the pressure and post incomprehensible nonsense (actually that's probably what i'd achieve even without buckling)

In what are almost the words of red dwarf I'd write I am a fish 400 times, do a funny little dance and then feint.
 

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