Story A Tortoise's Journal [C2007] - AUS 380ao (TT 145*), POMS ONLY 315ao (IB 80*)

[tassietiger]

This is a journal of my career in Cricket 2007, as you may have guessed by the title of the thread. The next question on all of your lips, I see, is ?why is he calling himself a tortoise?. It?s a lot cleverer than you think. Think back to the age-old fable of the tortoise and the hare. There may have been morals to that story, slow and steady wins and stuff like that, but I don?t really care about that part. All that mattered to me was the tortoise won. So I figured calling myself a tortoise was not going to hurt at all, in fact it may help me win by naming myself after a proven winner (if worse comes to worse I can just change my religion and start batting like Mohammed Yousef, which would be more than acceptable)

The career is loosely based around the current time, as the story is set that I am playing domestic cricket for Tasmania not long before the Ashes start.

 

[surendar]

Very Interesting! Good Luck Tortoise Hope u too win by performing well! Good luck again to ur career and the story

Also one small suggestion, instead of making attachments, why not give a try to imagshack!

the tutorial is here,

http://www.planetcricket.org/forums/showthread.php?t=21004

Imageshack is the utility tool to story writers now a days

 

[tassietiger]

The Squad Announcement
NEWSPAPER CLIPPING

The Australian squad for the first Ashes Test in the 2006-07 series has been announced:

Matthew Hayden
Justin Langer
Ricky Ponting
Damien Martyn
Mike Hussey
Michael Clarke
Adam Gilchrist
Shane Warne
Stuart Clark
Brett Lee
Glenn McGrath
Andrew Symonds
Timothy Tortoise

The inspired selection of fielder-batsman Timothy Tortoise has rocked the cricketing world. He is believed to be Australia?s secret weapon for the series, and may well be the deciding factor as the English team are yet to see him performing on the international circuit.

His selection comes after some blistering performances in the domestic competition for Tasmania.

Timothy Tortoise had this to say in his press conference:

?It has been a whirlwind past week for me, with my seventeenth child arriving last Monday, getting the call-up to the Ashes, and also getting a new image hosting sponsor in imageshack courtesy of a nice person named surendar. I can?t believe the luck I?m having, I suppose it is hard work paying off. Without wanting to come across as arrogant in any way, my performances this season so far have been nothing short of exceptional.?

 

[Kev]

Good Luck

I hope you dont get knocked down by a bouncer, you'll never be able to get off your back

 

[plympilgrim]

good luck tortoise, i'm sure you will do well especially lookin at your "exceptional" performances for tasmania

 

[BigCrickNan]

I hope tortoise fails on his way to a rubbish career. I bet he gets payed a lot for his exceptional performances for tasmania. I am his bookie

 

[Left_Hander]

Haha. This is going to be really funny. Got out for a duck and picked for Australia.

Looking foward to it and good luck

 

[ZoraxDoom]

A piece of advise from a long time matchfixer - If you get out, blame it on the umpire. If you get hit for a four, blame the makers of the ball and bats that 'are ten times bigger then what 'ee had in 'ee god 'ol days', and if you drop a catch, blame the sun/moon/clouds/outfield.
And the most improtant tip - If asked where you got that new limousine from, use the fail-proof "My gran passed away and handed this down to me". A turtle can never have too many grans.

 

[The Spin]

what about crk07 guys?the worst ever edition from ea sports.the game bugs are still there with richie benaud making frenzy commentary.the faces are worst than ever.I was so excited with crk07 but when i actually played it,i lost interest from the game itself.the rosters and faces even the names are all bizzare.Is it a comedy game??I am totally disappointed.CRK05 from EA sports was much better,at least the faces could be identified.

What?!?!????? :confused:

Sounds like a great story, looking forward to some more comedy

 

[Jaztheman]

this thread wil be the only one with comedy



apart from mine

 

[tassietiger]

In Brisbane
NEWSPAPER CLIPPING

The selection of youngster Timothy Tortoise has divided the cricketing world, as many past, present and future greats have come out and put in their two cents on the bizarre selection.

Bill Lawry, former Australian Test cricketer ? Ludicrous. Just ludicrous. How much longer can they keep Brad Hodge out of the side. This is ludicrous.
Darrel Hair, former international umpire ? I retired at the right time, because everyone knows the tortoise beat the Hair.
Ian Chappell, former Australian Test cricketer ? I was talking to the selectors the other day, and they said that they would pick him. I was talking to him the other day, and he said the selectors would pick him. I was talking to the other players as well and they seemed to think that the selectors would pick him. Actually, now I think of it, in the last few days, I have talked to every single person associated with cricket in any way. I wonder if I could work that into my commentary?
Ian Botham, former English Test cricketer and present ****** ? They are ignoring the fact that their club?s changeroom is looking like a nursing home at the moment. Tortoise is 17, for crying out loud. In only 23 years, he will be 40. What will Australia do then? They need to sit up and take notice of the fact that they are selecting people that are far too old.
Brett Lee, Australian Test cricketer ? Which is my better side? Left or right?
Shane Warne, Australian Test cricketer ? gud 1 tim cya at bris
Duncan Fletcher, English coach - They picked him because they are scared of my tactical nous and pure genius. I won the Ashes practically on my own last year and I'll do it again, just watch.

Personally I don?t read into all of this media frenzy that?s going on, 13 people are picked in a squad and I am just one of them. There?s a good chance that I won?t play anyway.

The boys have welcomed me into the team really well, they?re making me feel like I am really a part of the team. In fact, Haydos even invited me around to his place in Queensland leading up to the Brisbane Test. I accepted his invitation, oblivious to the fact that he was only going to use it to try and sell me his cooking book collection. I was reluctant at first, but when he offered me some food, I figured the book was far less likely to send me to hospital than the food.

 

[tassietiger]

A piece of advise from a long time matchfixer - If you get out, blame it on the umpire. If you get hit for a four, blame the makers of the ball and bats that 'are ten times bigger then what 'ee had in 'ee god 'ol days', and if you drop a catch, blame the sun/moon/clouds/outfield.
And the most improtant tip - If asked where you got that new limousine from, use the fail-proof "My gran passed away and handed this down to me". A turtle can never have too many grans.

The same gran that handed me the diuretics? Could start to get a little suss.

 

[tassietiger]

I hope tortoise fails on his way to a rubbish career. I bet he gets payed a lot for his exceptional performances for tasmania. I am his bookie

Still awaiting that last transfer for my pair in the pura cup match.

 

[surendar]

I was talking to the selectors the other day, and they said that they would pick him. I was talking to him the other day, and he said the selectors would pick him. I was talking to the other players as well and they seemed to think that the selectors would pick him.

I was reluctant at first, but when he offered me some food, I figured the book was far less likely to send me to hospital than the food.

lol :rtfl :rtfl :rtfl

Excellent It seems there is a close relationship between a tortoise and a duck

 

[smssia0112]

Still awaiting that last transfer for my pair in the pura cup match.

Don't tell me you're gonna fix matches in this too? Stay away from your cricsim stuff and find some new material. Lovin the news clippings so far though!