Airline Announcements...........
Lufthansa Airlines
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the
captain :"Ladies
and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have
lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean".
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were
somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an
emergencyand we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that
all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the
swimmersare on the right side of the plane after this announcement all
the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request
.
Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The
captainonce again made an announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on
the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away
from the plane.
For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You For Flying
Lufthansa- ".
------------------------------------------------------------------------
British Airways
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcomeyou aboard British Airways flight 602 from New
York to London .
We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the
Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,
youwill observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.
"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe
that theport wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life
raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the
co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delta Airlines
At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement
at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying,
"We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board
fromGate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570
wouldin fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our
carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke " Thank you
for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
Keep Walking
Iceman
Lufthansa Airlines
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the
captain :"Ladies
and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have
lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean".
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were
somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an
emergencyand we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that
all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the
swimmersare on the right side of the plane after this announcement all
the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request
.
Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The
captainonce again made an announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on
the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away
from the plane.
For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You For Flying
Lufthansa- ".
------------------------------------------------------------------------
British Airways
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcomeyou aboard British Airways flight 602 from New
York to London .
We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the
Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,
youwill observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.
"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe
that theport wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life
raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the
co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Delta Airlines
At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement
at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying,
"We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board
fromGate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570
wouldin fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our
carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke " Thank you
for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
Keep Walking
Iceman
