AVK'S Sms jokes
- Thread starter avk2love
- Start date
avk2love
Club Cricketer
HERE'S one (it's totaly mobile jokes)
* SMACK!!!!!! A mobile kiss for ur girlfriend, next time keep the mobile in front of ur girlfriend lips
* if u read this msg that means u like that i am smart
if u save this msg that means u believe that i am smart ,
if u delete it it means u ar jelous that i'm smart,
if u fwd it u ar spreading i am smart !!!!
* SMACK!!!!!! A mobile kiss for ur girlfriend, next time keep the mobile in front of ur girlfriend lips
* if u read this msg that means u like that i am smart
if u save this msg that means u believe that i am smart ,
if u delete it it means u ar jelous that i'm smart,
if u fwd it u ar spreading i am smart !!!!
avk2love
Club Cricketer
cmon guys post some
News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...
There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!
What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.
Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.
I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
.......and here some more............really hilarious!
What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering
How Dogs and Women are alike.....
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?
Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"
If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?
Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.
I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.
Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned.
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...
There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!
What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.
Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.
I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
.......and here some more............really hilarious!
What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering
How Dogs and Women are alike.....
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?
Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"
If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?
Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.
I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.
Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned.
viral1991
International Cricketer
These were great jokes, but some of them were explicit for younger people like me.
Someone please write a warning in the first post!
Someone please write a warning in the first post!
saferider4969
Club Captain
good jokes in this thread .
avk2love
Club Cricketer
great jokes
keep it up guys
keep it up guys
viral1991 said:These were great jokes, but some of them were explicit for younger people like me.
Someone please write a warning in the first post!
Young ppl do grow up.So no harm in getting some explicit messeages.
Does'nt matter we'll add a warning.
avk2love
Club Cricketer
i will post some more sms soon
and do u think by putting a warning ppl will stop viewing these jokes
and do u think by putting a warning ppl will stop viewing these jokes
avk2love
Club Cricketer
ya man that's my favorateYOTC said:
avk2love
Club Cricketer
"To waken interest and kindle enthusiasm is the sure way to teach easily and successfully"(Tyron Edwards)
"He who dares to teach must never cease to learn" (Anonymous)
"I am almost overwhelmed by the courage and dedication of teachers" (Sylvia Solomon)
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I
can't remember the other two... -- Sir Norman Wisdom
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that
even a bargain costs money. -- Edgar Watson Howe
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your
success! -- Doug Larson
A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie! -- Eric Bolton
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Erno Philips
I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. -- Robert Paul
We spend the first twelve months of our children's liv! es teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -- Phyllis Diller
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Woody Allen
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn't. -- Erica Jong
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. -- Joey Adams
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. -- Henry Youngman
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born ? -- Benny Hill
"He who dares to teach must never cease to learn" (Anonymous)
"I am almost overwhelmed by the courage and dedication of teachers" (Sylvia Solomon)
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I
can't remember the other two... -- Sir Norman Wisdom
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that
even a bargain costs money. -- Edgar Watson Howe
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your
success! -- Doug Larson
A harmful truth is always better then...a useful lie! -- Eric Bolton
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Erno Philips
I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. -- Robert Paul
We spend the first twelve months of our children's liv! es teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -- Phyllis Diller
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. -- Woody Allen
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn't. -- Erica Jong
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. -- Elbert Hubbard
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. -- Joey Adams
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. -- Henry Youngman
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born ? -- Benny Hill
duffarama
Chairman of Selectors
Can I ask a serious question to everyone out there: What is the difference between an SMS joke and a normal joke? Because all the jokes that I have seen posted in this thread look normal to me. 
avk2love
Club Cricketer
they are shorter - about a line or two......duffarama said:Can I ask a serious question to everyone out there: What is the difference between an SMS joke and a normal joke? Because all the jokes that I have seen posted in this thread look normal to me.
it's time u put ur glasses on
