AVK'S Sms jokes

[icyman]

This is not an SMS joke,
I saw Abhas post a Surd one....so here's one more:

Haryani gets into a bus and sees sardars all around him.
A surd next to him says:Puttar,tell me a joke.
The Haryani was in a fix and started off,"There was a Haryani"
The Surd hit him hard and remarked " Kyo be saare sardar mar gaye kya ? "

 

[Abhas]

Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"


Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother. "Yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."

If ur alone il b ur shadow, if u want 2 cry il b ur shoulder, if u want a hug il b ur pillow, if u need 2 b hapi il be ur smile, f u need money wait 4 ur salary!

 

[icyman]

Just got a mail full of jokes:
Here it is :


Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering -

Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?
*************


Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya .

Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?

Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.

*************

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question
-

Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?

Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

*************

A Sardar was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle,
why ?

Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but
also

its beginning !



*************

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a ****
?
"I

read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?.

Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory....

*************

2 Days of Powercut in India made life miserable. Worst affected was
Amritsar

where all the SARDARS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters.....
*************


Two Sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other

to check whether it is working.

He puts his head out and says - YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO

*************

Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?

Sardar angrily said, i know -

it means....

S - Sardaron ke

M - Mazak udane ki

S - Service

*************

Banta : Oye to har SMS ko do baar kyom bhej raha hai ?

Santa : Kyunki tujhe agar ek forward karna ho to dusra tere paas rahe
!!!

 

[banana man]

great quotes everyone how about these couple of jokes.

Here is a couple for you

Cricketer and Beer
In a country town match, the batsman was out first ball. 'Not like last week,' said the wicket-keeper.
'No,' said the batsman. 'Last week I stayed in and got forty and when I got back all the beer was gone!'

English Cricketer
A distraught woman rushed into a Police Station claiming she had been *****.
The Desk Sergeant calmed her down and asked her to provide details. She
told him that it was a man of average height dressed in white and that he
was wearing protective pads on his legs and forearms, additionally he
had on a helmet and gloves.
"That sounds as if the man was a cricketer" observed the policeman.
"Oh yes he was" replied the woman, "and what's more he was an Englishman".
"I suppose you guessed that because of his accent " said the Sergeant.
"No" the woman said, "it was because he didn't stay in very long."

 

[avk2love]

Dont forget to thank me .....

3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network

How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28 look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58 pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age 78 4get it

Hi, I am an alien and I'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook.. Searching.. Searching.. Searching.. Sorry,no chicks found! Gay? Conclusion: You Are Gay!

Roses are red violines are bleu, a face like yours belongs to the zoo

This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience

roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..

Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins...

 

[Abhas]

lol, nice ones

 

[duffarama]

That's the way avk2love, you are coming out with the good. Loved that last joke that you posted - it really got my heart pounding. You do have a very good sense of humour for sure!
Keep posting funny ones like that!

 

[avk2love]

Here ar a few

I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!

Roses are red.voilets are corny.when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

Hey, is your dad a terrorist? Cos baby, you're the bomb! Your daddy must have been a hunter because you're a fox!

I looked up sexy in the dictionary today and your name was listed

If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?

Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there

 

[avk2love]

Any one have more...........

 

[duffarama]

Well it's your thread (ie AVK's SMS jokes), so you go ahead and post some more.

 

[avk2love]

I 'm Back

*Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest

*When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness

*Sorry! Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

*How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?


*How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28 look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58 pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age 78 4get it


* I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.

 

[Abhas]

lol....nice to see the thread "reincarnated"...
nice jokes there AVk...

 

[avk2love]

Here's some more

What is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey plz contact zoo for detail

Someday u may lose ur hair .. u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind .. But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks .. coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

A man on wife?s birthday had no money so he sent a chq of 100 kisses, When he return home his wife said ?thanks for chq i got it cashed from banks manager

A- ur attractive , B- ur beautiful, C- ur caring, D- ur darling, E ? ur exciting, F- ur funny, G- ur gorgeous, H- ur heavenly, I- i am, J-just, K- kidding

Sory to disturb u its urgent, Can u fax me ur photo graph, Serious matter has come up actually v were playing card and V lost joker?..

I see your face when I am dreaming That's why I always wake up screaming

im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!


A girl called me & said "Come no over, nobody is home". I went over. Nobody was home


Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..


The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very good looking... So where are you gonna hide Me?


At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!


We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!