After two consecutive defeats for The Victoria, they finally broke their duck by piling up 5 for 285. In steady drizzle and worsening light, the opener Phillip Hughes took the attack in his innings with four boundaries and a six in his brutal unbeaten 39 from 29 deliveries.
Victoria doesn't require the use of 'the' before it. Hughes didn't take the attack I'm presuming. I think you're trying to say he was aggressive, so maybe you could have said he was 'on the attack' or 'played aggressively' to make that make more sense. Also boundary is an inclusive term that refers to fours as well as sixes, so you should either talk about fours instead of boundaries, or 'five boundaries
including a six', because saying 'and' there makes it look like a six is not a boundary.
Jaques found the ideal foil in Hughes - together hammered 50 run stand in seven overs and the conditions were too bad at the end of 11th over - That had reduced to 48 overs. Hughes drove Siddle into the timber-framed pavilion to bring up his fifty and, although Jaques wnet for 37 from 39 deliveries when he failed to clear cover and Simon Katich was bowled for a golden duck by Holland. They had made a decent start with 87 runs in 16 overs and, They' total never looked likely to be enough, although Michael Clarke got rid of McDonald to help reduce Blues' hopes to three for 94.
It should be 'together
they hammered
a 50 run..', just missing crucial words in between the main ones that give meaning to those words. Also it shouldn't be 'and the conditions..' it should be 'but the conditions' because it's a negative thing. Also it should be 'end of
the 11th over'. Instead of 'That had' you should write 'This', and you haven't mentioned what was reduced to 48 overs. I know its obvious but a sentence requires an object to act upon, so the full sentence should read 'this reduced the match to 48 overs'. Spelling mistake with 'went'. Instead of 'although' you should have written 'however', because 'although' normally has a bad thing that happens, and then followed by a good thing, or the other way around. There's a random capital letter in the next sentence. I'm not quite sure what the sentence is supposed to mean. You talk about them getting a decent start, then not having enough runs, and then the although makes it even more confusing. For one thing, 'They' should be 'their'. And the 'and' before that should be a 'but'. And the 'although' should possible be 'though'. To be honest, that last part of the sentence doesn't really make sense with the rest of it. Maybe instead of 'although' or 'though' it should be 'especially when'. That emphasises how '
the Blues' were in dire straights and not looking to score a big total.
Phillip Hughes kept alive Blues' hopes when he had hit couple of boundaries to wide mid-on. Nic Maddinson had either given a decent platform by sharing half-century stand with Hughes but, although Victoria's spinners kept things tight in the middle of the innings.
'
the Blues' again. Also '
a couple'. The 'either' in the next sentence has no place in the sentence and just makes it confusing. '
a half-century stand'. You overuse the word 'although'. It's not needed here, and you can just remove it.
Blues' young side contained 4 players who had came through their academy system and one of those, Nic Maddinson, unbeaten 47 from 59 deliveries. Blues made three for 143 from 25 overs but, later Hughes (67) was finally caught at deep midwicket going to his second six but, Nic Maddinson unbeaten 50 from 63 deliveries left Blues' (after making a deadful start from Katich and Clarke.)
'The Blues'. 'was unbeaten'. 'The Blues' again. Instead of 'later', soon is more appropriate. And he's not going 'to' his second six, he's going 'for' it. And the last part of that sentence doesn't make any sense. You should probably put a full stop after 'second six'. Then start 'Nic Maddinson's unbeaten..'. Also, you've just written 'left Blues', - where did he leave
the Blues? I'm guessing you wanted to write 'left the Blues some hope', and those words really shouldn't be in brackets.
The youngster Maddinson reeled off some silky strokes to keep his side in the hunt and also pulled the spinner McGain for six as he reached to 78. However, then came two substantial stands involving the durable Moises Henriques - he put on 50 for the fifth wicket with Maddinson.
He didn't reach 'to' 78, he just reached it. You've only described one of his substantial stands, the reader is left wondering what the other one was. The last bit doesn't sound quite correct but I can't find anything wrong with it. It could possibly be phrased better.
Then the main damage - the spinner who claimed three of they four wickets in space of eleven deliveries. McGain had Middinson caught at backward point revrse-sweeping and, after Henriques was given lbw by Holland - He struck twice in three balls, taking a return catch to account for Daniel Smith and bowling Henriques.
It makes more sense if you wrote 'Then the main damage occurred'. 'their' instead of 'they. 'the space'. 'Reverse-sweeping' (spelling mistake). Instead of using '-' in the last part of that second sentence, just use a comma. Especially since you've said 'after' beforehand. dashes are used to represent different ideas that are connected in some way - this is the same idea, or are used to indicate a long pause. I'm not quite sure on the proper use of them, but because you've used 'after' it's not appropriate there.
Siddle, Holland and McGain took Victoria towards victory. The lower order Clark, Cameron and Bracken were dismissed in consecutive overs, leaving the hosts to 247 all out in 46 overs.
Finally, it should be 'the lower order
of Clark' and 'leaving the hosts 247 all out' - the 'to' is not required.
Overall, I think I was a bit harsh before - your grammar has improved a bit since you started, but there are a lot of small mistakes involving missed the occasional missed 'the', or using the wrong word in places. You also miss out connecting words sometimes that connect the main words of the sentence. You should check your use of the word 'although' because it isn't appropriate for some of the uses you put it to. Only a few spelling errors, but there were parts that didn't make sense. As I always say, it pays to read your update out loud to find mistakes like that. When you read it, it might sound funny, so you should change it so that it sounds correct.
