The Jokes Thread

[MaD]

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'

Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma,it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy 's mum wants to talk to you.'

 

[thedon5]

LOL :laugh .

 

[BKB1991]

Lol MaD!

 

[Themer]

I paid three grand for my wife to have a boob job - she was happy.

I paid four grand for her to have a nose job - she was delighted.

I treat myself to a ?30 hand job at the local brothel - and she goes mad.

 

[deathrevenge9]

Some sardar jokes (Pretty ordinary but still good enough to bring a smile on the face).

On a romatic date Sardar's girlfriend asked, DARLING on Our engagement will you give me a ring?
Sardar replied:Yeh Sure! what's your phone number?
_________________________________________________
Sardar prepared only one essay "Friend" for his exam. But in exam he got "Father" essay. so he replaced Friend with with father and wrote like this.... " I have lots of Fathers. some are male and some are female.But i have lots of Girl fathers.My best father is my neighbour...!!"
__________________________________________________
Santa Singh:Hey!What are you doing?
Banta Singh:Recording this baby's voice.
Santa Singh:Why?
Banta Singh:When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this
___________________________________________________
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then a Little Sardar ji spoke up: "We are all human beans."
____________________________________________________
A man to Santa Singh:'Your friend is having sex with your wife in your house'.
He rushed to his house and came within half hour and slapped that man saying,'You idiot,he is not my friend'.s

 

[ARay]

Sardar prepared only one essay "Friend" for his exam. But in exam he got "Father" essay. so he replaced Friend with with father and wrote like this.... " I have lots of Fathers. some are male and some are female.But i have lots of Girl fathers.My best father is my neighbour...!!"

This is a good one! :laugh

 

[blazerix]

Poor grammar always makes me laugh.

^That was the reason for those type of jokes.

:doh

 

[Karachi Xpress]

Steve, who lived with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies. A few days after his departure, his cat climbed up on the roof, fell off and was killed.

His friend immediately wired him with the message, "Your cat died!"

In a few hours he was back home, having cut short his trip in grief and anger at his friend, whom he told, "Why didn't you break the news to me gradually? You know how close I was to my cat! You could have sent a message 'Your cat climbed up on the roof today', and the next day you could've written, 'Your cat fell off the roof' and let me down slowly that he died."

After a quick memorial service, the bachelor left again to continue his trip. A few days later he returns to his hotel and there is a message waiting for him from his friend. He read, "Your mother climbed up on the roof today."

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Santa is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Santa a pop quiz, asking: `What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?`
Santa says: `I would switch one train to another track.`
`What if the lever broke?` asks the inspector.
`Then I`d run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there`, answers Santa.
`What if that had been struck by lightning?` challenges the inspector.
`Then,` Santa continued, `I`d run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box.`
`What if the phone was busy?`
`In that case,` Santa argued, `I`d run to the street level and use the public phone near the station`.
`What if that had been vandalized?`
`Oh well,` said Santa, `in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Bhalla`.
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, `Why would you do that?`
`Because he`s never seen a train accident.`

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[AkshayS]

^lol Rameez:laugh.
Both cracked me up.

 

[Themer]

England v USA - Kick off 19:30.

USA will turn up at 19:41 and then claim victory.

 

[pcfan123]

or USA does not show up at all and you start speaking German

 

[pcfan123]

Thanks for the neg rep , don't be a vagina next time and tag it.

 

[Themer]

Haha, did someone neg rep you for that? :laugh

 

[Dutch]

England v USA - Kick off 19:30.

USA will turn up at 19:41 and then claim victory.

Apparantly the Americans have asked the Canadians to play the game against England for them as they have attacked a completely different stadium; they took control of the pitch a few hundred kilometres to the East saying it needed to be secured before the Algerian game, worried for a knock on effect. An American spokesman said that the Algerians themselves asked them to invade. The Algerian manager, speaking from a secret loacation in a prison cell in Poland where he was being "looked after" for his own good, said he was being treated well and that the marks on his face were due to him accidentally walking into a waterboard machine......

 

[pcfan123]

Haha, did someone neg rep you for that? :laugh

Yea with the comment

"ur joke was worse than all of meets and dont try and tell me thats not meant to be a joke"