The Jokes Thread

[Haarithan]

Cool !!!

 

[sami ullah khan]

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

...This catches the blonde's attention, and- to keep him quiet- she agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Airphone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.

After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde takes the $500 and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

I think this joke has the characters swapped. Blonds are supposed to be stupid.

 

[BKB1991]

Well thats what I thought too but It was better this way.

 

[thedon5]

Heard it a million times.

 

[Themer]

BBC News: Earliest Snowfall in 17 years. And there was me thinking January was before November.

 

[Bevab]

That thing was awesome.

 

[AkshayC]

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well", he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's THE night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack". The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person". He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist".

 

[Themer]

Got myself pictured an R.E.M concert. Thats me in the corner.

 

[ZoraxDoom]

You mean that's not you in the spotlight?

 

[pcfan123]

^ haha excellent follow up, been racking my brains for a cheeky follow up but you beat me to it.

 

[ZoraxDoom]

Sorry, I'm losing my direction trying to keep up with you.

 

[Will Browne]

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."

The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."

...The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."

The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

 

[Zayed Cricket]

Some of funny pictures From the internet.........

 

[Sureshot]

If only we had a sticky thread in this forum for funny pictures...

 

[Chewie]

You mean that's not you in the spotlight?

lol! That was great

I only got it once Mark posted sadly but I now recognise it's greatness