scorpion_rulezz
Club Cricketer
i posted these jokes earlier materavigoteti said:
ravibut really appreciate ur work nice ones there :cool:
QUICK THINKING!
Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in a hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital.
Banta: "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left hand, since you are right handed."
Santa: "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!"
SARDAR KIDNAPS
There once was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him,"I've kidnapped you."
The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground". Signed, "A Sardarji".
The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji???
FOR LUNCH AGAIN!??? :happy
Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji. Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together.
One fine day, the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says "I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, i will jump from the 20th floor and die".
Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and says "If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die".
Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "If I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump and die".
The next day the three friends meet for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies. The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies. Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies
In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch".
The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch".
The Sardarji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch!".
BUS NO. 123
A Sardar is visiting Mumbai. This is his first time to the city, so he wants to see the Gateway of India. He asks a Hawaldaar (police officer) for directions.
"Excuse me Hawaldaar," the Sardar says, "How do I get to the Gateway of India?"
The Hawaldaar says, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 123 bus. It'll take you right there."
The Sardar thanks the officer and waits at the bus stop.Three hours later the Hawaldaar comes back to the same area, and sure enough, the Sardar is still waiting at the same bus stop. He gets out off his motorcycle and says, "Excuse me, but to get to the Gateway of India, I said to wait here for the number 123 bus. That was three hours ago i think. Why are you still waiting?"
The Sardar says, "Don't worry, it won't be long now. The 86th bus just went by!"
CROSSING THE TRACKS
A Sardar is at the railway station. He asks one of the railway attendants "When will the Rajdhani Express go from here?". And the man replies 12.30.
"When will Punjab Express go from here"?
Man Replies 10.30.
"When will Deccan Queen go from here"?
Man Replies 12.30.
Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. ow the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to Punjab by train or not. Sardar replies, "NO. I only wanted to cross the tracks!"
SANTA VS. KASPAROV
Santa Singh is flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right beside him is Gary Kasporov, the world Chess Champion. Santa has always been in awe of Chess players, and immediately starts up a conversation with Gary about the Nuances of the Game etc. Gary says "How would You like to Play me for $ 500 US"?
Santa: "But you're too good".
Gary: "I'll play left handed".
Santa cant resist the bet and accepts. Kasparov, check Mates our Sardar in 8 Moves. Santa is still scratching his head, as he leaves the airplane. Upon Reaching Amritsar, Santa tells Banta about the game he had with Kasparov.
Banta: You're an absolute fool Santa !!!
Santa: Why?
Banta: You idiot, Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no wonder he beat you left handed
FEEL THE HEAT
Santa, Banta and Ghanta Singh were lost in adesert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down. Because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. Santa Singh took the radiator, Banta Singh took the seat, and Ghanta took the door.
After walking for a while the Banta asked Santa, "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?"
Santa responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."
Santa then asked the Banta, "Why did you bring the seat?"
Banta replied, "If I get tired, I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."
Finally, both asked the Ghanta Singh why he had chosen the door.
Ghanta quickly responded to the question with a smile, "Well, when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this heat all I have to do is roll down the window."
plz rate this thread ( so more people will come than more contributions will be available :happy )
