The Jokes Thread

Is wittiest/funniest answer competition a good idea?


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  • Poll closed .
:D Nice jokes.

Susheela: Saree is nice but design on it is not good.
Sales girl: Its ok madam!It will go off after two washes.
 
LOL :facepalm

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That exclamation mark is the best part of his jokes.
 
Jaggu: Which oil do you apply for your beard?
Raju: Phenol

Father: My Dear! Do you know I have struggled a lot taking one one step to grow high?
Son: Why you have struggled that much,you might have taken lift know!

Teacher:Today we will be knowing about Robot.
Raju: We know it before only teacher.
Teacher: What you know?
Raju: Robot director Sankar,Music Director: A.R.Rehman,Hero: Rajnikanth,Heroine: Aishwarya !

Teacher: Chanti!Do you know why doctors,nurses wear mosque in the operation theatre?
Chanti : I think if any mistake happens no one should find who did it? Teacher!

:D Nice jokes.

Susheela: Saree is nice but design on it is not good.
Sales girl: Its ok madam!It will go off after two washes.

:lol
 
A child is going to play but he will not play with his frnds bros and anyone he knows.... so who he is gonna play with.....
Terrorists remember cs..... :p
 
So that was a parody account. Like the three other ones. But hilarious nevertheless.
 
LOL ! :

Through This Article I Will Tell You Why Why Ravindra Jadeja is known as ?Sir Ravindra Jadeja?. This is a work of fiction and is not to be taken seriously.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1.Sir Ravindra Jadeja is playing for CSK. So, CSK should be declared the IPL VI winner in advance: Lalit Modi

2.Jadeja is so quick, that once he took a bat-n-pad catch while fielding at the long on boundary: Gabbar Singh

3.Batsmen who hit sixes on Sir Jadeja?s bowling, go into his hotel room in night, cry and then ask for Poison: Unmukt Chand

4.Batsmen are not given out when Umpires raise finger, Batsmen are out when Sir Jadeja raises his finger: Simon Taufel

5.The reason Sir Ravindra Jadeja did not hit a triple century was because I personally had written to him to pardon Australia. :Justice Katju

6.Now every four years there will be Jadeja Cup Instead of the World Cup and IPL will be Jadeja Premier League: Michal Clarke

7.One day a small kid was smashing 4s&6s. Sir Ravindra Jadeja told him 2 play defensive strokes.Today,we know him as RahulDravid

8.In 1882, Sir Ravindra Jadeja smoked a Cigar ! And since then Aussies and English are fighting for its ASHES : MCC

9.The apple which fell on Isaac Newton?s head was thrown by Sir Ravindra Jadeja : NASA

10.Facebook And Twitter have introduced a new auto correct feature that will correct Ravindra Jadeja to Sir Ravindra Jadeja : IndiaTV

11. Accoring to New ICC Rules When Sir Jadeja bowls a No ball, it is compulsory for a batsmen to get run out: ICC

12.If There is any Player who can end my Streak at WrestleMania Then It,s Sir Ravindra Jadega : The UnderTaker

13.The reason for Gujarat development goes ONLY to SIR Ravindra Jadeja: Narendra Modi

14.Sir Ravindra Jadeja is to Indian Cricket what Tushar Kapoor is to Bollywoo? ? Shilpa Shetty

15.You know why I have a different hairstyle? Because it matched to his and Dhoni once mistakenly said to me, ?Jaddu, come and bowl your bakery stuff ? Sachin Tendulkar

16.When Sir Ravindra Jadeja gives an idea, people say ?What an idea Sir J? : IDEA

17.Form is temporary, I?m permanent. : Shri ShriSir Ravindra Jadeja

18. LORD Rohit sharma and Sir Ravindra Jadega?s statue are ready to get installed on every stadium of india : BCCI

Read more at Why Ravindra Jadeja is known as Sir Ravindra Jadeja

Credits to the site owner :p .
 
Boss: Where were you born?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
 
No exclamation mark?!
 
A young guy from West Virginia moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in West Virginia ."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.

"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.

That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida . One sale a day might have been acceptable in West Virginia , but you're not in the mines anymore, son."

The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day.
He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"

The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

The boss, astonished, says
$101,237.65?? What the heck did you
sell?"

The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing. ;)
 
Lol ! great one akshaychauhan , I haven't read it before though . :lol
 
A Nano breaks down on a roadside.

A BMW 750 stops to help the driver.

"I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash your lights"

They start up slowly but a only a km or so down the line a Porsche speeds past 150km an hour.

The BMW driver forgets about the nano & guns it after the Porsche.

Just as all 3 of them tear through a speed trap the cop radios the HQ:

"You won't believe I have seen a BMW& a Porsche racing past 170 km an hour with a Nano behind them flashing its lights to Overtake."
 

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