The Jokes Thread

[kushy28]

"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

 

[FabregasChelsea]

A Student failed in law & decided to make a deal with Professor.

Sir, do u know everything about law ?

Prof: Yes.

Student: If u can answer dis question, i will accept my final marks, if u cant, u have to give me "A".

Professor agreed.

Boy asked: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"

Prof thought about it for hrs & pondered no answer.

He had to finally give up as he really did not know.

He gave the boy his "A".

The following day, professor asked same question to his students.

He was shocked when all of them raised their hands.

He asked one student.

He answered:
Sir, u are 65, married to 28 yrs old woman, dis is legal but not logical.

Ur wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, dis is logical but not legal.

Ur wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet u have given him an "A", dis is neither logical nor legal.

The professor collapsed..

 

[kushy28]

Wow very nice.

 

[kushy28]

My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead."

"How come?" I asked. "Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing."

 

[Ahmad94]

Kushy28, please stop.

 

[Bevab]

I second that.

Whether you get sarcasm or not, this should be clear: Your jokes are bad and childish and if you're 25 years old, you should stop, you get this right?

PS: Don't warn me again.

 

[Ashu54]

@Sriram:totally agree with u now.... got bored.....

 

[LegBreakGoogly]

I have a joke, Ashes Cricket 13

 

[sami ullah khan]

Single foolish joke no success laugh not coming

 

[zeustrojanstark]

A Priest Offered A Nun A Lift.

She Got In And Crossed Her Legs, Forcing Her Gown To Reveal A Leg.

The Priest Nearly Had An Accident.

After Controlling The Car, He Stealthily Slid His Hand Up Her Leg.

The Nun Said: ?Father, Remember Psalm 129??

The Priest Removed His Hand. But, Changing Gears, He Let His Hand Slide Up Her Leg Again.

The Nun Once Again Said: ?Father, Remember Psalm 129??

The Priest Apologized: ?Sorry Sister But The Flesh Is Weak?

Arriving At The Convent, The Nun Sighed Heavily And Went On Her Way.

On His Arrival At The Church, The Priest Rushed To Look Up Psalm 129.

It Said: ??Go Forth And Seek Further Up, You Will Find Glory?

Moral Of The Story: ?If You Are Not Well Informed In Your Job, You Might Miss A Great Opportunity?

 

[SiriusBlack]

edited

 

[Sulaiman7]

A man was working at an amusement park when a couple stopped him. ?Excuse me,? said the woman, pointing to a pond. ?What is that water made out of?? Bemused, he replied, ?Two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen.? ?See?? she said to her boyfriend. ?I told you it wasn?t real.?

HAHA ! good joke .

 

[KrishnamurthiN]

A guy goes to write an exam. In the Exam Hall on receiving and reading the question paper, the guy removes his shirt and pants and starts writing the exam.... Reason: It was written in the question Paper "Answer In Brief."

 

[Samuels]

You meant to say that if he would have been a she, she would have went to buy briefs, come back, got nude in the class, wore briefs and gave the exam while being topless?

 

[KrishnamurthiN]

Not necessarily if she had been wearing her dress over her "Briefs"