The Mysterious Mr Chris

[KingCJ]

The Mysterious Mr Chris

Background:
Not much is known about Mr Chris, except that he lives in a flat somewhere in the London area. He recently moved from Australia for reasons he refuses to reveal, and nobody knows his actual last name. Residents in his local area say that he is about 30 years old, probably single, probably unemployed, mostly keeps to himself, although when they do see him, he is always sitting on his computer playing Football Manager, and when he does venture outside, he is always seen wearing a hat and sunglasses. Just what exactly lurks under the outside shell of this man is unknown.​

 

[AbhishekS]

Nice start!
Really interesting!

Looking forward it.

 

[rahuldravidfan]

Hmm. Mysterious start

 

[KingCJ]

The Beginning​

I was parked infront of the computer, enjoying my breakfast on a sunny June morning in London, looking on the internet for news stories from back home. Apart from a story about a farmer cheating on his wife with with one of his cows:laugh, there was nothing interesting. So I went back to playing my awesome save on FM, where I had taken a team called Cockfosters into the Premier League, and just recently into the Champions League, although that title was the only one eluding me. I had just started a match when the phone rang. 'Lovely timing:sarcasm' I was thinking.

"Hello?"
"Hi there, is the Mr Chris?"
"Nah, you've somehow managed to reach the phone of Prince William without legal permisson! Don't worry, the police will be at your front door in just a few moments."
"Holy s***!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA, I can't believe you actually fell for that!"
"You cheeky bugger! But seriously, are you Mr Chris?"
"Yeah, that'd be me, who are you and why are you ringing?"
..........................
..........................
"Well, now that I've recovered from my near hear attack.....My name is Ryan McIntosh. Your neighbour, who happens to be an old family friend of mine, told me about your career on Football Manager."
"Wow, so a guy I've never heard of rang me to talk about a game:sarcasm"
"If thats how you see it, thats okay, but obviously you don't want to hear my offer."
"Wait wait wait don't hang up......what sort offer are you talking about?"
"Well, I happen to be the chairman of a club in the 7th tier called Didcot Town. We are currently in need of a manager, and from what I've heard about you, Mr Chris, it sounds like you have some good managing qualities."
"Geez, you have got to be kidding me!"
"I'm absolutely serious about this. So, if you're interested in the managers job, I'll pay you a visit on the weekend and we can sort out details."
"Mate, I've been unemployed for a few months now. I'll see you on the weekend."
I'm glad to hear that. Anyways I'll see you soon."


Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. I wasn't expecting to get a job for months, and yet, this McIntosh guy had just come from nowhere and chucked me a lifeline. Just maybe, my life had gone past rock bottom, and this was the beginning of a return to good times.
However, I got back to the computer and saw that my team had only managed to draw against a team I was expected to hammer.:doh

 

[Gaurav_7]

Well written mate.It got me going all the way till the end.Loved that Prince Williams part.

 

[MaD]

Lol! Nice story there, go on

 

[Covvy]

Interesting story, this could be an epic story if you do it properly and you'll have to be quite committed also.

 

[KingCJ]

The Beginning - Continued​

Before long, Saturday afternoon had come around. I was sitting at home watching Family Guy, having a great laugh. I was nearly at the best part of this particular episode when some dopey bugger with a horrible sense of timing decided to knock on the door. I reluctantly got up and shuffled to the front door, silently cursing the whole way. When I opened the door, I saw a man in a suit looking at me.

?Look, whoever you are, you?re in the wrong part of town for someone of your income bracket. Now bugger off before I nick that suit.?
?Well, he wasn?t wrong when he said you were a bit feisty.?
?Wait a minute, I swear I?ve heard that voice before.?
?Don?t you remember? I?m Ryan McIntosh; I called you the other day about a job offer.?
?Oh yeah, sorry Mr McIntosh, I completely forgot that you were coming. Come in and have a seat.?

Despite the fact that I?d been in England for a few months, this was my first encounter with an Englishman in a suit. I was very weary, especially of the briefcase he had next to him on the couch. However, because he had a potential job offer for me, I decided to play along. Maybe.

?So Mr Macca, what?s in the briefcase, a gun? A bomb? An eviction notice??
?Look Chris, I know you think that the job offer is a joke, but I?m absolutely serious.?
?Soooo, you mean there actually is a job offer? And you?ve got no problem with me calling you Mr Macca??
?I wouldn?t have called you at all if I wasn?t going to offer you the job. As for Mr Macca, I have no problem with it.?
?Alrighty then. So give me some details about the job and the location.?

So Mr Macca opened up his briefcase, and staring right at me was a chipmunk with a machete........................................................................not really, it was just a whole heap of boring business stuff. Anyways, he gave me some brochures from his briefcase, then went through all the details about the club (I never knew that Didcot Town had won the Southern League 1st Division a couple of years ago. Mind you, I had no clue what that even was.), the job, and the fact that I was going to have to move away from my crappy but cozy little flat. Eventually the topic moved to something more interesting: my pay check.

?You have to understand that because we are a club in the 7th tier of English Football, you won?t be getting a massive pay check. However, the offer I?m giving you is for 2 years at $725 a week.?
?Hey, anything?s better than that stupid dole check I?ve been living on.?
?Alright, so if you sign here, it?s a done deal.?

I took the pen & paper from Mr Macca and put my autograph on the dotted line. After that he let me know that I had a week before the removal company from Didcot would come past to help me move. He also said that the club?s physio had agreed to let me stay with him for a while. Then he went through a few more boring things before he left my soon to be ex-house.
In all honesty I was quite surprised by the events of the past few days, but it was good to know that I wouldn't have to go into the English version of Centrelink for a while.​

 

[MaD]

Cool, let's see how you go

 

[Gaurav_7]

Mr. Chris seems to be really interesting character.Another good update.Mr. Macca?LOL,good luck.

 

[KingCJ]

Welcome to Didcot Town​

The following week and a bit passed by in a bit of a blur while I was finalising things for my move. Before I knew it, I was making my way to Didcot Town?s home ground, Loop Meadow Stadium, to meet the club staff. With me was the team?s physio, Ben Chambers, who was also my new housemate. He was telling me about the playing squad, and who I had to watch out for. Ben also warned me that the assistant manager was a bit of a prankster, but I just calmly stated that I had plenty of tricks myself.

Before I knew it, we had reached Loop Meadow. I had a quick look across the ground before Ben and I headed into the clubrooms.

Now obviously it ain?t anything like Wembley, but for reasons that I couldn?t safely reveal, I was quite content with managing in obscurity for the time being.

I spent a long time in those clubrooms meeting and chatting to my new workmates. My assistant manager, Gary Elkins, had immediately lived up to the prankster reputation that Ben had warned me about. The sneaky mongrel used the buzzer handshake trick and made half my hair stand up (although most of my hair was hidden under my now trademark hat). Rather than giving Gary the reaction he wanted, I just slyly reminded him that payback sucks quite badly. While I was in those rooms, I was also introduced to the coach, Tom Brooks, and the club?s scout, Kurt Griffiths, who looked a little shifty to me. I also found out that Didcot Town is affectionately known as The Railwaymen (Why? Buggered if I know).

Before long, it was unfortunately time to face the pack of hungry dogs / media (whichever you prefer to call them) and I couldn?t use meeting the players as an excuse to avoid the human sized flies, as they weren?t due back from their holidays for a few more days. So with a ?Good luck Mr Chris? from the staff, I headed outside to face my second test.

 

[MaD]

Great update, excellent writing, you've made an a average story intersting, KIU

 

[Gaurav_7]

Ha,loved that update.'Hungry dogs' is a right one.As MaD said,your writing is fantastic mate.You have started this one with a bang.Hopefully you'll continue it.Something keeps me interested in this.

 

[KingCJ]

Thanks for the positive feedback guys.
The frequency of updates might drop at different points in time, as this year I'm in year 12, so schooling commitments might keep me away from updating this at times.
However, I am commited to keeping this story going, so don't worry about that.

 

[KingCJ]

The Interview​

The following morning I sitting at home eating breakfast while flicking through the local paper. After skipping through multiple pages of nothing interesting, I finally got to the sport section and found the story I was looking for.

-----------------------------------------

Didcot Town Reveal New Manager

In a move that has surprised the loyal fans of Didcot Town, an unknown 30 year old Australian has been chosen to take over the club?s vacant manager position. Mr Chris, who refused to reveal his actual surname, had been living unemployed in London for 4 months until Didcot?s chairman Ryan McIntosh approached him for the job.
Didcot Herald?s sports journalist Edward Jones was amongst the media who interviewed Mr Chris at Loop Meadow yesterday.

Edward Jones: ?Mr Chris, welcome to Didcot, and congratulations on winning the manager position. How does it feel to get the job??
Mr Chris: ?Well Eddy, I?m glad to move out of London after 4 months, and it feels great to get away from those stupid dole checks.?
EJ: ?Can you tell us why you refuse to state your surname??
MC: ?Can we keep the questions related to the job please??
EJ: ?Okay. Well moving onto tactics. What is your plan there??
MC: ?Well, I don?t think I?ll decide on a tactical approach until after I meet the players.?
EJ: ?Sorry, but isn?t that a little bit slack on your behalf??
MC: ?It?s a bit hard to meet the players if they are all still on holiday.?
EJ: ?...Erm....next question, what is your plan as far as handling players is concerned??
MC: ?Well a bit of foreplay is always good if that?s what you?re thinking.
..............but seriously, I?d like to think that there will both a good level of respect and trust between me and the players.?
EJ: ?Do you have a good idea of who the stars and the deadwood are in your team??
MC: ?Didn?t I just say not long ago that I haven?t met the players yet??
EJ: ?Oh yes, that?s right, you did. My mistake.?
MC: ?Well it ain?t mine. Now how about some relevant questions hey??
Michael Smith: ?Mr Chris, I?m Michael Smith from the FA. The competition?s media predict that Didcot Town will struggle to not finish bottom of the league. What do you have to say to this??
MC: ?Good question Mr Smith. It sounds like the media think that we?re going to be pushing faecal matter uphill all season. However, I?m not willing to make a comment regarding your question until after the pre season friendlies.?
MS: ?Do you have any further comments to make??
MC: ?Oh please don?t tempt me. No I don?t.?

With a slightly mysterious manager who seemingly enjoys entertaining the media, the 2009/10 season is shaping up to potentially be an interesting one for The Railwaymen and their fans.

(For the full interview log on to TheFA.com)

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I was mildly surprised to see that some of my smart alec comments had actually made it into the paper, and that only two questions from the FA guy were printed in the article, but most of all I had been surprised by the stupidity of the local journalist, Edward Jones. However, I was disappointed to see that most of my jokes about player bondage and the local journalist had been edited out. I gave the paper to Benny so that he could read the interview and I could finish my breakfast, then start planning my payback for Gary.