Story A Tortoise's Journal [C2007] - AUS 380ao (TT 145*), POMS ONLY 315ao (IB 80*)

[tassietiger]

Don't tell me you're gonna fix matches in this too? Stay away from your cricsim stuff and find some new material. Lovin the news clippings so far though!

Nah not fixing the Ashes, that would be wrong. It was Zorax and Drewska who started it, they're in everything for the money

 

[BigCrickNan]

Still awaiting that last transfer for my pair in the pura cup match.

done deal mate Roll on brisbane

 

[GrayNicolls]

Haha. This is pure class, tassie.

 

[plympilgrim]

grt story so far, bringing tears to my eyes just reading it

 

[tassietiger]

Lead-up to the First Test

The final net session before the Test was a good hit out for most of the boys, except for Justin Langer, who got hit 74 times in the net session, which is most amazing considering he was only bowled 60 balls before being stretchered off the net with a broken leg, although he was kicking (with his good leg) and screaming, claiming he could bat on.

His omission meant that I was twelfth man, with Andrew Symonds coming in to replace him. Symo was obviously over the moon about the decision, so ecstatic that he asked me to come out to the pub to celebrate with a few quiet ones on the night before the Test. I politely refused, but told him to go along to the pub anyway, in the process securing myself a spot in the first Test for Australia

 

[surendar]

:rtfl :rtfl :laugh

poor Langer lol, the story line is amazing filled full of humour! Hope tortoise also does something funny in the field distracting the opponents

 

[madmick96]

lol! funny stuff

 

[Short Leg]

I couldn't imagine anyone especially a Tasmanian walking into the Australian team after making a pair. I can see the tortoises as the kind of bloke that writes an autobiography before even playing a test match. Great start to the story mate.

 

[tassietiger]

In

BRISBANE ? Breaking news has come out regarding the Australian first Test line-up, and this news is not only breaking metaphorically but is actually related to a breaking. This breaking is of numerous bones in Justin Langer?s bones. It was announced by selector Andrew Hilditch that the controversial contender Timothy Tortoise would be put in Langer?s place for the first Test, which is sure to raise more eyebrows than a Brazilian strip club.

?Justin (Langer) has walked up to us, or should I say wheeled up to us, and said that he is ready to bat in today?s Test, but we?ve explained to him that even if the pads are there to protect him while batting we can?t have him fielding with his medical problems. Of course we could go down the English path of having him off the field all the time, but we see that as being against the spirit of the game and actually quite sooky.?

It is believed Queenslander and enigmatic all-rounder Andrew Symonds was the obvious replacement for Langer, but it is rumoured that a heavy night out last night has cost him a place in the side. This would not damage Symonds? reputation a great deal, as he has done it before and was dropped as a result, but nobody minded because he is a gun anyway.

Matthew Hayden
Timothy Tortoise
Ricky Ponting
Damien Martyn
Mike Hussey
Michael Clarke
Adam Gilchrist
Shane Warne
Stuart Clark
Brett Lee
Glenn McGrath

Out:
Justin Langer (thirteen broken bones ? not including a double break in the right leg)

 

[plympilgrim]

come'on tortosie show the aussies why they selcted you despite your "extrodinary" form

 

[tassietiger]

I couldn't imagine anyone especially a Tasmanian walking into the Australian team after making a pair. I can see the tortoises as the kind of bloke that writes an autobiography before even playing a test match. Great start to the story mate.

If there's something I've learnt from the 2005 English team it is that it's never too early to write an autobiography. A bit of self-promotion never hurt anyone too badly.

 

[MWaugh]

theres a real "warwick todd diaries" feel to this book. i loved that book and this is a top read aswell

 

[tassietiger]

theres a real "warwick todd diaries" feel to this book. i loved that book and this is a top read aswell

Those books are hilarious. Maybe I should start making some of those terribly photoshopped images, just to keep to the theme

 

[plympilgrim]

i think that would be an amazin idea

 

[surendar]

this is a top read aswell

i agree completely that its a top funny stuff!

wheeled up to us, and said that he is ready to bat in today?s Test,

very bold Langer though

Justin Langer (thirteen broken bones ? not including a double break in the right leg)

Just thirteen only ? :laugh

Again top class read! Keep the humourous work going.... It will be nice to see what Duff respond to this...