Lockdown tournament (SEASON 2 - Updates in first post)

[Dutch]

Glad my team isn't in the same group as @DalePlaysCricket because lethal Keaton Jennings would be a nightmare for my bowlers to have to bowl to.

Reminds me of my favourite speech about Keaton Jennings “Never in the field of utterly diabolical amature batting has so little been done for so few runs in so many minutes: and I will fight him on the beaches or in the nightclubs of this country and I will have my revenge”

I think this was by Maximus Winstonius Churchillius

 

[GuyIncognito]

Reminds me of my favourite speech about Keaton Jennings “Never in the field of utterly diabolical amature batting has so little been done for so few runs in so many minutes: and I will fight him on the beaches or in the nightclubs of this country and I will have my revenge”

I think this was by Maximus Winstonius Churchillius

Keaton Jennings doesn't do what Keaton Jennings does for Keaton Jennings. Keaton Jennings does what Keaton Jennings does because Keaton Jennings is... Keaton Jennings,

- James Cameron.

 

[Dutch]

Do not ask what Keaton Jennings can do for you, but what you can do for Keating Jennings

JFK (Joan Fawcett-Klumpmole)

 

[Dutch]

I have a bat (but know not how to use it)

Martin Luther King

 

[Deleted member 193590]

You have feet in your head. You have brains in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.Except where the feckin ball is." -Dr. Seuss

 

[blockerdave]

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of W$T 1,500 must be in want of a Cook.

Jane Austen

 

[Dutch]

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of W$T 1,500 must be in want of a Cook.

Jane Austen

"Too many Cooks spoil the Brothel"

 

[Dutch]

“Resolution number one: obviously, will try to score 20 runs in one innings. Number two: will find nice sensible team and not continue to form professional attachments to alcoholics, workaholics, peeping-toms, megalomaniacs, emotional ****wits, players with any kind of class whatsoever or perverts.”

Keaton Jennings Diary

 

[mohsin7827]

Did not know till now how popular Keaton Jennings is

 

[Dutch]

Did not know till now how popular Keaton Jennings is

So are STD's but yeah.....

 

[Wavelberry]

Walking down the wicket
You're the centre of my universe
You got the sandpaper in your pocket,
My manhood in your purse
You ain't a batsman, honey,
No matter what the neighbors say,
It's just that you were those skin-tight pads
With your box tuned to "A"
Sweet, sweet, child of the street
Heaven sent, you're an angel dressed in whites,
Cool, stiletto strut, you're a drop jaw cardiac
You're the genuine, feline, prettiest batsman I've ever seen,
With your thief of hearts smile
You're a certified pleasure machine
Sweet, sweet, child of the street
Dressed to kill with a cricketing stir,
You get what you want
With your pussy cat purr
But, the Keaton's got claws,
He'll tear your heart out
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll scratch your back
The Keatons' got claws
He'll tease an' please you
The Keaton's got claws,
He's a heart attack
You treat me good,
Sometimes you treat me bad,
But, keep it up, honey,
You're the best opener we've ever had
No matter what you put me through I must confess,
Oh, you got more style than a brand new XJS
Sweet, sweet, child of the street
Dressed to kill with a cricketing stir,
You get what you want
With your pussy cat purr
But, the Keaton's got claws,
He'll tear your heart out
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll scratch your back
The Keaton's got claws
He'll tease an' please you
The Keaton's got claws,
He's a heart attack
Walking down the wicket
You're the centre of my universe
You got the sandpaper in your pocket,
My manhood in your purse
You ain't a batsman, honey,
No matter what the neighbours say,
It's just that you were those skin-tight pads
With your box tuned to "A"
Sweet, sweet, child of the street
Dressed to kill with a cricketing stir,
You get what you want
With your pussy cat purr
But, the Keaton's got claws,
He'll tear your heart out
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll scratch your back
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll tease an' please you
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll blow your stack
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll tear your heart out
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll scratch your back
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll tease an' please you
The Keaton's got claws,
He's a heart attack
You scratch my ball, baby,
An' I'll scratch yours

 

[Neptune]

ill play in delhi park

 

[blockerdave]

Walking down the wicket
You're the centre of my universe
You got the sandpaper in your pocket,
My manhood in your purse
You ain't a batsman, honey,
No matter what the neighbors say,
It's just that you were those skin-tight pads
With your box tuned to "A"
Sweet, sweet, child of the street
Heaven sent, you're an angel dressed in whites,
Cool, stiletto strut, you're a drop jaw cardiac
You're the genuine, feline, prettiest batsman I've ever seen,
With your thief of hearts smile
You're a certified pleasure machine
Sweet, sweet, child of the street
Dressed to kill with a cricketing stir,
You get what you want
With your pussy cat purr
But, the Keaton's got claws,
He'll tear your heart out
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll scratch your back
The Keatons' got claws
He'll tease an' please you
The Keaton's got claws,
He's a heart attack
You treat me good,
Sometimes you treat me bad,
But, keep it up, honey,
You're the best opener we've ever had
No matter what you put me through I must confess,
Oh, you got more style than a brand new XJS
Sweet, sweet, child of the street
Dressed to kill with a cricketing stir,
You get what you want
With your pussy cat purr
But, the Keaton's got claws,
He'll tear your heart out
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll scratch your back
The Keaton's got claws
He'll tease an' please you
The Keaton's got claws,
He's a heart attack
Walking down the wicket
You're the centre of my universe
You got the sandpaper in your pocket,
My manhood in your purse
You ain't a batsman, honey,
No matter what the neighbours say,
It's just that you were those skin-tight pads
With your box tuned to "A"
Sweet, sweet, child of the street
Dressed to kill with a cricketing stir,
You get what you want
With your pussy cat purr
But, the Keaton's got claws,
He'll tear your heart out
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll scratch your back
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll tease an' please you
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll blow your stack
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll tear your heart out
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll scratch your back
The Keaton's got claws,
He'll tease an' please you
The Keaton's got claws,
He's a heart attack
You scratch my ball, baby,
An' I'll scratch yours

Wow.

 

[wasteyouryouth]

 

[Dutch]

Jenningusalem

And did those feet in ancient time,
Walk upon England's creases green?
And was the bat with holes
In England's baffling line-up seen?

And did the countenance so dazed,
Shine forth from open mouth?
And was Jenningusalem bowled out here
Among this mediocre but too good for him bowling attack?

Bring me my paracetamol of burning throbbings!
Bring me my lip-balm of eternal bliss!
Bring me anything anything at all!
Bring me my taxi out of here!

I will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have got rid of Jenningusalem
From England's green but pleasant line-up!