No Cricketers Allowed - Everyone can go ahead and finish their teams now!

[blockerdave]

We were going for Keaton Jennings as he falls under the category of non-cricketer perfectly but on the way to the audition he tripped over his own bottom lip and ended upside down whilst unfortunately being skewered by Barry Manilow’s nose piercing.

We have therefor gone for possibly the best opening batswoman in the whole draft:

Please welcome Geoffrey Boycott's mum holding a stick of rhubarb; she is willing to graft, spend time in the middle and will look to book into a bed and breakfast on any wicket! “I’ll ‘ave thee balls for tea, sonny lad!”

Geoffrey Boycott's Mum on the way to the nets:

View attachment 228447

​

@Dutch 's XI: Sergeant Majors Lonely Farts Club Band

1. Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. Inspector Gadget
8.
9.
10.
11.​

​

genius

 

[Aislabie]

Round One - Commences Wednesday 4th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Kim Jong-Il
@AliB - Roshan Singh Sodhi
@CerealKiller - John Cena
@DalePlaysSports - Batman
@Dutch - Inspector Gadget
@El Loco - Thor Odinson
@EyeInTheSky - Count Olaf
@Master Bates - Superman
@Na Maloom Afraad - Julius Caesar

Round Two - Commences Thursday 5th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - LEGO Batman
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports - Doctor Octopus
@Dutch - Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
@El Loco - Noo-Noo
@EyeInTheSky - Michael Scott
@Master Bates - Ben 10
@Na Maloom Afraad - Doctor Manhattan

Round Three - Commences Friday 6th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Automatic Wickie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports - BatFast B2 Bowling Simulator
@Dutch - Large Hadron Collider
@El Loco - Argentinosaurus
@EyeInTheSky - Bob Marley
@Master Bates - The Flash
@Na Maloom Afraad - Speedy Gonzalez

Round Four - Commences Saturday 7th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Alastair Campbell
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Five - Commences Sunday 8th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Six - Commences Monday 9th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Seven - Commences Tuesday 10th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Eight - Commences Wednesday 11th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Nine - Commences Thursday 12th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Ten - Commences Friday 13th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Eleven - Commences Saturday 14th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Alastair Campbell RIGHT-HANDED BATSMAN, OFF-SPIN BOWLER
It's no secret around these parts that I really like spin bowling, and it's honestly a surprise that it's taken me this long to pick my first slow bowler. But what a pick - The Spin Doctor himself, Campbell is a natural vice-captain, and he could spin anything from anywhere given half a chance. Not usually someone placed at the top of the order, but will be promoted as night watchman should ever there be a crisis that needs to be averted.

@Aislabie 's XI
1.

LEGO Batman (RHB)
2.

Kim Jong Il (RHB, RF)
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.

Alastair Campbell (RHB, OS)
10.
11.

Automatic Wickie (LMS)

 

[Master Bates]

Aaaaa

Hugh Jackman/Wolverine​

Now we have someone who has actually played cricket. And he has also played against Warne albeit in the nets but this is what happened:

After getting hit before the last ball, he didn't got himself injured out. He ain't no pu**y, he ain Australian. Then he hits legendary Warne for six. Wonder if he would not have pursued Acting then he was a sure Aussie star. Would have been batting better than Warner, Smith, Kohli, Williamson, Root, Sharma, Taylor, Latham etc. cause if he can hit Warne, he can hit anybody. Also, he has managed to play at the MCG which is no big feat.

And the less we talk about his alter-ego the better. When he is The Wolverine, he will smash the bowlers for sixes. Those claws are useful against the like Geoffrey's mom, Julius Caesar, Bob Marley etc. cause they are humans.

The fact that this man has actual batting experience, he will slot at no 3. The most important position.

1. Superman - Right-arm fast

3. Hugh Jackman/Wolverine
4. Ben 10 - Any type of bowling


7. The Flash

And here's the video where he said he played at the MCG:

 

[Dutch]

In accordance with our own regulations laid down in the "Dont You Feck With Me Matey!" charter of 1631, our team is an all inclusive non-discriminatory, role-model empowering, purely for profit organisation: we therefore have a strict policy of inclusion and promoting new ideals.

We therefore give you: Houseman Of The 21'st Century.

Not only has he an excellent spin capability, especially in full wash cycles, he is also very capable of mopping up the tail, clean bowling the opposition, wiping the floor with the other side's top order and on top of that he also is the perfect bloke: some of his attributes:


When with blokes:

Farts and belches
Complains about women generally
Is proud of his ample belly
Thinks the military should step in to clean up inner city scum
Laughs at Ricky Gervais
Is willing to show random amounts of bum cleavage

When with women:
Listens
Is considerate
Understands
Eats knackebrot
Binge watches Sex In The City whilst cuddling on the sofa with a glass of white wine



Housman of The 21'st Century Getting Ready For Another Awesome Day







Dutch 's XI: Sergeant Majors Lonely Farts Club Band

1. Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. Inspector Gadget
8. Houseman Of The 21'st Century
9.
10.
11. Large Hadron Collider

 

[Ed Smith]

I think i'll take @blockerdave next - again one that's all in the name, an anchor for the innings, coming in at number 7 to close things out or firm things up depending on the state of the game, will also have him bowling some old man military mediums in the middle overs



1. Batman
6. Doctor Octopus
7. @blockerdave
11. BatFast B2s bowling simulator

 

[Aislabie]

I think i'll take @blockerdave

Will just need the man himself to confirm his lack of a Cricinfo profile

 

[WubbaLubbaDubDub]

Supervillain and archenemy of Batman! The face needs no introduction! Presenting to you The Joker! Hehe haha haahhahahah ehehehehe hahahahah!!!!!! On the field with his laughter and his fast bowling ability, he will kill all around him.. including his teammates

Team Ugly Ass Haters

1. Michael Scott
2. 
3. 
4. Count Olaf
5. 
6. 
7. Bob Marley
8. 
9. 
10. 
11. The Joker

 

[CerealKiller]

Alright, peeps, sorry for being lazy late with my picks, but here they are.

First, fans of The West Wing will instantly recognise him, is Lionel Tribbey. If you don't know who he is, here's an introduction.

For obvious reasons, he will be my second opener, and his job will be slaughter bowlers with the bat gifted to him by Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth of Windsor.

My second pick is Sherlock Holmes, his 2010s version. A masterful tactician, he will obviously be the captain, along with star all-rounder. His incomparable mind will allow him to decipher any bowler's tricks and exploit any batsman's weakness with his legbreaks.

My third pick is Neo from The Matrix, as keeper-batsman. His ability to stop things coming at him at a very fast velocity makes him an ideal candidate for both roles. He will be able to catch any ball, as well as to stop any delivery and whack it as far as possible.

CerealKiller's XI
1. John Cena
2. Lionel Tribbey
3. Neo
4.
5. Sherlock Holmes
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.

 

[Dutch]

Will just need the man himself to confirm his lack of a Cricinfo profile

I think he was banned from playing as it was confirmed that he was indeed the one who had eaten all the pies.

 

[blockerdave]

Will just need the man himself to confirm his lack of a Cricinfo profile

I can confirm no cricinfo profile. The militariest of military medium, a leggie that looks like like a leggie but turns like a googly on the rare times it pitches, a solid defence with no orthodox attacking shots, and a world class sledging game.

top choice Dale![DOUBLEPOST=1575749693][/DOUBLEPOST]

I think he was banned from playing as it was confirmed that he was indeed the one who had eaten all the pies.

Well, it was a women’s team...

 

[Aislabie]

Round One - Commences Wednesday 4th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Kim Jong-Il
@AliB - Roshan Singh Sodhi
@CerealKiller - John Cena
@DalePlaysSports - Batman
@Dutch - Inspector Gadget
@El Loco - Thor Odinson
@EyeInTheSky - Count Olaf
@Master Bates - Superman
@Na Maloom Afraad - Julius Caesar

Round Two - Commences Thursday 5th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - LEGO Batman
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Lionel Tribbey
@DalePlaysSports - Doctor Octopus
@Dutch - Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
@El Loco - Noo-Noo
@EyeInTheSky - Michael Scott
@Master Bates - Ben 10
@Na Maloom Afraad - Doctor Manhattan

Round Three - Commences Friday 6th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Automatic Wickie
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Sherlock Holmes
@DalePlaysSports - BatFast B2 Bowling Simulator
@Dutch - Large Hadron Collider
@El Loco - Argentinosaurus
@EyeInTheSky - Bob Marley
@Master Bates - The Flash
@Na Maloom Afraad - Speedy Gonzalez

Round Four - Commences Saturday 7th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Alastair Campbell
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Neo
@DalePlaysSports - @blockerdave
@Dutch - Houseman of the 21st Century
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky - The Joker
@Master Bates - Hugh Jackman
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Five - Commences Sunday 8th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Mr Potatohead
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Six - Commences Monday 9th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Seven - Commences Tuesday 10th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Eight - Commences Wednesday 11th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Nine - Commences Thursday 12th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Ten - Commences Friday 13th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Eleven - Commences Saturday 14th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Mr. Potato Head RIGHT-HANDED BATSMAN, RIGHT-ARM MEDIUM-PACE BOWLER
The ideal bits-and-pieces all-rounder, Mr Potato Head will slot into the middle order ready and equipped to adapt to any situation that's thrown at him. Or that he's thrown at, because sometimes that happens too.

@Aislabie 's XI
1.

LEGO Batman (RHB)
2.

Kim Jong Il (RHB, RF)
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Mr Potato Head (RHB, RM)
8.
9.

Alastair Campbell (RHB, OS)
10.
11.

Automatic Wickie (LMS)

 

[El Loco]

Jay Cartwright

Cricket? Completed it mate.
Seriously what hasn't this guy done? His exploits with the ladies, trials at West Ham, knocked out cows with one punch, but obviously we all know that the only thing he actually knocks out is in his bedroom alone late at night.
So with that in mind it can be safely assumed that he has now been blessed with strong arms that would actually prove quite useful in achieving top speeds as a paceman. Also with Fifty Shades of Jay, you never quite know what you're gonna get with this guy, bit of swing, bit of seam, who knows! This unpredictability will prove a massive asset and he'll slot straight in as our main strike bowler.

1. Thor Odinson
2.
3. Argentinosaurus
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. Jay Cartwright - Right Arm Fast
11. Noo-noo

 

[CerealKiller]

Round One - Commences Wednesday 4th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Kim Jong-Il
@AliB - Roshan Singh Sodhi
@CerealKiller - John Cena
@DalePlaysSports - Batman
@Dutch - Inspector Gadget
@El Loco - Thor Odinson
@EyeInTheSky - Count Olaf
@Master Bates - Superman
@Na Maloom Afraad - Julius Caesar

Round Two - Commences Thursday 5th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - LEGO Batman
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports - Doctor Octopus
@Dutch - Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
@El Loco - Noo-Noo
@EyeInTheSky - Michael Scott
@Master Bates - Ben 10
@Na Maloom Afraad - Doctor Manhattan

Round Three - Commences Friday 6th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Automatic Wickie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports - BatFast B2 Bowling Simulator
@Dutch - Large Hadron Collider
@El Loco - Argentinosaurus
@EyeInTheSky - Bob Marley
@Master Bates - The Flash
@Na Maloom Afraad - Speedy Gonzalez

Round Four - Commences Saturday 7th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Alastair Campbell
@AliB
@CerealKiller - Sherlock Holmes
@DalePlaysSports - @blockerdave
@Dutch - Houseman of the 21st Century
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky - The Joker
@Master Bates - Hugh Jackman
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Five - Commences Sunday 8th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie - Mr Potatohead
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Six - Commences Monday 9th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Seven - Commences Tuesday 10th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Eight - Commences Wednesday 11th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Nine - Commences Thursday 12th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Ten - Commences Friday 13th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Round Eleven - Commences Saturday 14th December, 00:00 GMT
@Aislabie
@AliB
@CerealKiller
@DalePlaysSports
@Dutch
@El Loco
@EyeInTheSky
@Master Bates
@Na Maloom Afraad

Mr. Potato Head RIGHT-HANDED BATSMAN, RIGHT-ARM MEDIUM-PACE BOWLER
The ideal bits-and-pieces all-rounder, Mr Potato Head will slot into the middle order ready and equipped to adapt to any situation that's thrown at him. Or that he's thrown at, because sometimes that happens too.

@Aislabie 's XI
1.

LEGO Batman (RHB)
2.

Kim Jong Il (RHB, RF)
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Mr Potato Head (RHB, RM)
8.
9.

Alastair Campbell (RHB, OS)
10.
11.

Automatic Wickie (LMS)

You missed my picks above

 

[Dutch]

Coming in as as our captain, allrounder, and everything in the known universe are quantum physics. Quantum physics dictate that particles can be in more places in once, appear as wave or particle, be in different universes and dimensions simultaneously. The greatest strength that quantum physics brings to our team is in fielding. You think he is at silly point but is in fact also simultaneously everywhere else. There are no gaps, no places you can't be caught at. At the same time quantum physics can also be busy getting the lunch ready, directing the cars in the car park and ironing Stuart Broad's petticoats. A real all-rounder! Welcome quantum physics!



Quantum Physics explaining how to get Steve Smith out:





Dutch 's XI: Sergeant Majors Lonely Farts Club Band

1. Geoffrey Boycott's Mum
2.
3.
4.
5.
6. Quantum Physics
7. Inspector Gadget
8. Houseman Of The 21'st Century
9.
10.
11. Large Hadron Collider

 

[Aislabie]

6. Quantum Physics

Suffice to say, this isn't exactly the direction I expected us to go in