The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
- Start date
Varun
ICC Board Member
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2009
- Location
- Delhi, India
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - Steam PC
Legendary!:laugh
-D-S-B-
International Coach
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2009
- Online Cricket Games Owned
New Zealand building minister cracked this joke at an awards ceremony: "What is the difference between Muslims and Kiwis? Muslims commit adultery and get stoned, Kiwis get stoned and commit adultery."
It hasn't gone down too well with some people.
It hasn't gone down too well with some people.
Pranav
ICC Board Member
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2007
- Location
- New Delhi, India
A man checks into a hotel while on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you’re calling for a cab.
He popped into a phone booth in the Hub near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Candice, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs! He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel.
When back in the room he figures, what the hell, I’ll give her a call.
'Hello,' the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I’d like you to come to my room and give me one.. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 1 for an outside line.'
It took three hours for him to get the courage to Checkout next morning.
He popped into a phone booth in the Hub near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Candice, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs! He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel.
When back in the room he figures, what the hell, I’ll give her a call.
'Hello,' the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I’d like you to come to my room and give me one.. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 1 for an outside line.'
It took three hours for him to get the courage to Checkout next morning.
Themer
Chairman of Selectors
I was having sex the other day, banging away, when suddenly I stopped mid-thrust and stood really still.
"What are you doing?"
"Something I learnt from online porn. It's called 'buffering'."
"What are you doing?"
"Something I learnt from online porn. It's called 'buffering'."
Cricketdude
Chairman of Selectors
AHAHAHA nice!
Prats
International Coach
Fantastic jokes...
Been on my favorite site again.:laugh
Why does the boy next door get a lump in his pants? - The Landover Baptist Church Forums
Why does the boy next door get a lump in his pants? - The Landover Baptist Church Forums
Themer
Chairman of Selectors
It's a good thing that Terry Jones cancelled Burn a Qur'an Day.
Doesn't he realise September 11th is already Bring Your Plane into Work Day?
Doesn't he realise September 11th is already Bring Your Plane into Work Day?
P
pcfan123
Guest
yipes
Themer
Chairman of Selectors
Harsh I know, but it did make me laugh.
P
pcfan123
Guest
I guess its been 10 years, isnt that the normal statute for when we can start making fun of tragedies?
Lol.
