The Jokes Thread

[BKB1991]

Did Hamza's joke sting you Haarithan?

 

[Haarithan]

I'll honestly admit that it did.

 

[shravi]

Hmm, no.

ROFL

Do you even know what you're saying?

 

[thedon5]

Hmm, no.

 

[Varun]

And they are scripts, so I guess you have to construct a proper grammatically correct joke out of it. Not just copy-paste it.

 

[pcfan123]

Hmm, no.

 

[Bevab]

You're a great fan.

You should try to post them in a more hilarious way though.

 

[cricketmad09]

What happened to the blind circumciser?

He got the sack.

 

[Themer]

My mate rang me and asked, "What're you doing at the moment?"

I said, "Probably failing my driving test."

 

[Varun]

I knocked on a bloke's door earlier and said, "Have you lost a cat?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Black & White?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "I've just seen it."

He said, "Whereabouts?"

I said, "Follow me."

I walked up the road, pointed to a tree and said, "There, on that tweaking poster."

 

[Fenil]

I knocked on a bloke's door earlier and said, "Have you lost a cat?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Black & White?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "I've just seen it."

He said, "Whereabouts?"

I said, "Follow me."

I walked up the road, pointed to a tree and said, "There, on that fried chickening poster."

Poor guy.

 

[Fenil]

Hi Guys,

This is something for refreshment.. we usually discuss something related to company, employes etc.

I hope this you will enjoy... Please don't take it personally.

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him, smiled and asked him to sit down saying:

"My friend you have not worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager: How many days are there in a year?

Man: 365 days and sometimes 366.

Manager: How many hours make up a day?

Man: 24 Hours.

Manager: How long do you work in a day?

Man: 10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day.

Manager: So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?

Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third).

Manager: This is nice of you! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?

Man: 122(1/3 x 366=122 in days)

Manager: Do you come to work on weekends?

Man: No sir.

Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.

Manager: Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days

do you now have?

Man: 18 days.

Manager: I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days

from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?

Man: 4 days.

Manager: Do you work on Republic Day?

Man: No sir!

Manager: Do you come to work on Independance Day?

Man: No sir!

Manager: So how many days are left?

Man: 2 days Sir!

Manager: Do you come to work on New Years Day?

Man: No sir!

Manager: So how many days are left?

Man: 1 day sir!

Manager: Do you work on Christmas Day?

Man: No Sir!

Manager: So how many days are left?

Man: None Sir!

Manager: So what are you claiming?

Man: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company

money all these days.

Moral- Never go to HR for help!

HR = HIGH RISK!!

 

[ZoraxDoom]

The logic in that joke is so flawed. Didn't like it the first time I heard it, still don't like it.

 

[RPHKR]

Teacher student exam shop :

Ben got 100 out of 100 in the exam. So the teacher gave him a gift and said,

I hope you will do the same in the next exam.'

Ben: Thank you Sir. I hope you will also print the question paper from my uncle?s printing shop next time.

 

[AbhishekS]

Simple and classic.