The Jokes Thread

[thedon5]

Yo en'G'ineers I am singing song
sem song
fail song

why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di

rhythm correct

why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di

maintain this

white colour-u paper-u paper-u paper-u print-u black-u
eyes-u questions-u meet-u meet- u
my future dark

why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di

maama hall ticket eduthuko apdiye kaila bit eduthuko

pa pa paan pa pa paan pa pa paa pa pa paan
sariya vaasi
super maama ready

ready 1 2 3 4

whaa wat a change over maama
ok maama now tune change-u kaila book only english..

hand la book
book la notes
eyes-u full-aa tear-u
empty brain-u
exam u come-u
life reverse gear-u
maam-u maam-u
oh my maam-u you taught me sum-u
cow-u cow-u holy cow-u

is this in syllabus u
god i m dying now-u
invigilato r is happy

how-u this song for engineers- u
we dont have choice-u

why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di

fail song!

Fail song?

Fail joke more like it...

 

[Prithvi]

Fail song?

Fail joke more like it...

okif you cannot understand the joke, its not that its a fail joke.

 

[Zidanes]

What? I'm Fail in English!!! That's Unpossible :O"

 

[Fenil]

Cop: I'm sorry Sir...your wife has been involved in a car crash and we would like
you to accompany us so you can identify the body.








Drunk Husband: I'm a bit busy right now. Can't you take a photo and tag me on facebook? If it's her, I will click the "like" button

 

[StinkyBoHoon]

I went to the doctor the other day and the doctor said

"Alan, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to stop masturbating."
I said "why?"
and he said "so I can examine you."

 

[barmyarmy]

Gotta love live television. This was the exchange between DC and Paul Hembery, from Pirelli, after the Brazilian GP on Sunday:

DC: It's difficult maybe to make rubber appear sexy...is it to do with the weave, different compounds, a special mix? How much is the construction and how much is the rubber surface?

PH: The structure has to provide safety ultimately. We're working with a lot of different chassis. We want something that's not going to break. If you go for performance then you have to use more innovative materials and that's when you start going towards the limits of integrity.

The best bit is when Jake Humphrey looks at the camera just like Tim from the office as if to say "Oh David, not again."

 

[Themer]

Grab your taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican.

 

[Gurjot95]

Boy: I miss you.
Girl: Let me guess- your PS3 broke?
Boy: No...
Girl: Really?
Boy: Yeah, it's actually loading right now...

 

[Gurjot95]

Picture related to my above joke!

 

[Zidanes]

What a spelling mistake could do

Txted my GF while partying in Vegas saying ?Hi Hun, I?m enjoying a lot, wish u were her? after that I realized what a spelling mistake could do.

 

[Fenil]

Impact of Job Change​

A taxi passenger touched the driver on shoulder to ask something Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath & Stopped few centimeters from a shop.

The driver said: "Don't ever do that again, you scared me"

Passenger apologized and said: "I didn't realize a little touch would scare you so much"

Driver replied: "Sorry, it's not your fault Its my 1st day as a Cab driver. I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs!

 

[deathrevenge9]

Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?
Because the grass tickles their balls! =p

 

[Lucifier]

Suddenly a shopkeeper got ill.
He told his son when any customer come to buy fruits you have to say these three lines-
1-10 rupees per kg.
2-Half good and half not good.
3.Take it otherwise another will take it.

The next day a man came.
How much is the bus stop far from here ?
Shopkeeper's son said 10 rupees per kg.
The man replied is your mind damage ?
Shopkeeper's son said Half good and half not good.
The man replied should i take you to The mental asylum.
Shopkeeper's son said Take me otherwise another will take me.

 

[Fenil]

Height of Confidence​

All the aeronautics professors were called and they were asked to sit in an airplane.

After they sat they were told that the plane was made by their students.
they all hurried out of the plane...but only one didn't move.

He said: If it is made by my students this won't even start!

 

[Zidanes]

Sachin Lands in Australia,
Press at the Airport : "Mr.
Sachin,your World Record has
just been broken, how do you
feel ?"
Sachin : "Which one ?