The Jokes Thread

Is wittiest/funniest answer competition a good idea?


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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life.

She may be right, but I'd still prefer it if she didn't have one.
 
I met a girl in the park the other evening.

There was an instant spark between us

and she immediately dropped to her knees,

and laid on the grass at my feet.

As we lay there making love, I thought

"These Taser guns are well worth the money."
 
Erotic Rajnikant:
Once Rajnikant had sex with his wife so hard, that

After 9 months, a pregnant daughter was born !!
:lol
 
Two Guys Conversation in Bathroom During a Chemistry Test.

G1 : You Gotta Help Me !
G2 : I Am Just here For Peeing .
I can't Help During test

G1 : Please Dude ... I Am Gonna Fail
G2 : Okay Be Quick .. Ask Me ?

G1 : Whats d Formula of Nobelium?
G2 : NO

G1 : But You Said You Will Tell Me..
G2 : NO !

G1 : Ok Leave it Tell me Whats Sodium ?
G2 : Na !

G1 : Damn Atleast Tell me Of Potassium ?
G2 : Hmm K !

G1 : What's Okay ?
G2 : Just K !

G1 : Whats Just OK ?
G2 : You Mean OK2 ?

G1 : Whats OK Too ?
G2 : Potassium Oxide ..

G1 : Oxide ?
G2 : O

G1 : Oh ! What ??
G2 : Oxygen

G1 : Damn Not Oxygen I Asked For Potassium ?
G2 : K

G1 : NO
G2 : Nobelium

G1 : Nobelium ?
G2 : NO

G1 : Just Give Me The Bonus Question Answer . Whats Element166 ?
G2 : Uhh

G1 :Go On ?
G2 : UHH

G1 : UHH ??
G2 : Exactly

G1 : NO WHAT IS IT ???
G2 : Nobelium

G1 : Damn For God Sake Atleast Tell me For URANIUM ?
G2 : Thats U !

G1 : I Know Thats Upto Me ... But I Am Asking Your Help
G2 : U !

G1 : NO YOU !!!
G2 : Nobelium . Uranium

G1 : You Are An Ass
G2 : URANIUM (U) ARGON (AR) NITROGEN (N) Arsenic (AS)
U AR N AS

G1 : You Are An Ass
G2 : Exactly !!

G1 : Baaah !!!
G2 : Barium !! :D :D
 
1 day 3 boys proposed a girl..

1st: I can die for you...

Girl- All people saying like this

2nd- I can bring star from the sky

Girl- This is very old dialogue

3rd- I can delete my facebook account for you...

Girl- (with tear on her eyes) I will marry you!!

And they lived happily ever after!!
 
It doesn't delete it though. It retains all your information, photos and statuses. Albeit no longer visibles
 
I went fishing at the weekend and there was this bloke splashing about in the middle of the lake shouting, "I can't swim! I can't swim!"

"It's alright, mate," I shouted, pointing at a nearby sign, "It says no swimming anyway".
 
In a train compartment, there are three men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic.

Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs."

The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs.

Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10, I'll show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill

The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her undies. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off their coats.

Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis." Naturally, all three fork over the money, and then the girl turns to the window and points to a hospital in the distance and says, "There!"
 

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