puddleduck
Chairman of Selectors
Really? Good work. Think it struggled a bit in the middle, but started and ended reasonably well.
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
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puddleduck
Chairman of Selectors
I don't think it would be unfair to say that your delivery and stage presence still needs a bit of work. You're clearly not as nervous as you try to imply through the act, so in that sense you need to hone the persona of the stage character more. By which I mean the on stage character needs more consistency. Obviously, that comes from time on stage though 
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pcfan123
Guest
props for getting up there and getting some laughs dude.
Themer
Chairman of Selectors
"It's a boy!"
I shouted, as I ran from the Thai brothel.
I shouted, as I ran from the Thai brothel.
I don't think it would be unfair to say that your delivery and stage presence still needs a bit of work. You're clearly not as nervous as you try to imply through the act, so in that sense you need to hone the persona of the stage character more. By which I mean the on stage character needs more consistency. Obviously, that comes from time on stage though
It does need some work but I think I have something promising going there. It is much much harder than it looks. This audience weren't throwing laughs out there, you did have to earn them. I know they loved the first gag but that is not to say that they were just laughing at any punchline. What I'm saying is that anything that didn't get a great response wasn't so much a 'failure' as a lack of a resounding success.
Well, I laughed. Good to see you around.
Sorry to sound paranoid but the audience reaction was good, right? That has been the consensus but on here, it seems like the undertone was that I bombed. But yeah, last time you guys heard from me I was rather ill, am better now.
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pcfan123
Guest
The laughs might not have been as many as you'd have wanted but at least they all sounded genuine to me. Not forced laughter that you hear at bad comedians
puddleduck
Chairman of Selectors
Of course it is, my issue is that I don't think you've quite nailed your persona on stage yet.
For example you end quite upbeat, boistrous, and I imagine quite similar to how you are on a night out or with friends? It sits awkwardly with the rest of the set to me. It makes the rest seem like fake nervousness (which I would assume it is, mixed in with the genuine nerves).
So to me, I would say that the style of comedy you use throughout is the sort where you would laugh with the audience a bit when they find things funny. Find yourself funny when they do, it sort of plays up the nervousness and awkwardness possibly? Or, perhaps you need more confidence on stage, so you own the stage. You don't laugh at your own jokes because you wrote them. I'm just not sure you quite seem to have nailed that side of it (as I said, comes from practice, and just doing lots of gigs I would assume!).
Also, on a personal level, I think that to extend that set to 15minutes, 30 minutes, etc.. that I would lose interest unless the jokes were excellent. I think you tell some good jokes, some nicely crafted ones that actually are at all times somewhat geeky (is that a fair description?). Yet, the person you are on stage doesn't necessarily have enough too him to sustain me through the inevitable jokes that I won't find funny.
Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to be negative as there's no use me being yet another person telling you "You're amazing dude! Awesome etc!". Definitely some good stuff in there, should be proud of it
Edit: Audience reaction seemed good dude, and I watched the whole thing, then again to be sure before I posted. Says it all really. Had that been Andi Osho I would have turned off within a "joke" (not sure we're classing Nigerian based family joke number 11 as jokes? We are? Meh). She got to host a Live at the Apollo...
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Doing comedy for that long is bloody hard. You had them at times and at other times you could tell they weren't quite there.
I definitely wouldn't say that you bombed.
Of course it is, my issue is that I don't think you've quite nailed your persona on stage yet.
For example you end quite upbeat, boistrous, and I imagine quite similar to how you are on a night out or with friends? It sits awkwardly with the rest of the set to me. It makes the rest seem like fake nervousness (which I would assume it is, mixed in with the genuine nerves).
So to me, I would say that the style of comedy you use throughout is the sort where you would laugh with the audience a bit when they find things funny. Find yourself funny when they do, it sort of plays up the nervousness and awkwardness possibly? Or, perhaps you need more confidence on stage, so you own the stage. You don't laugh at your own jokes because you wrote them. I'm just not sure you quite seem to have nailed that side of it (as I said, comes from practice, and just doing lots of gigs I would assume!).
Also, on a personal level, I think that to extend that set to 15minutes, 30 minutes, etc.. that I would lose interest unless the jokes were excellent. I think you tell some good jokes, some nicely crafted ones that actually are at all times somewhat geeky (is that a fair description?). Yet, the person you are on stage doesn't necessarily have enough too him to sustain me through the inevitable jokes that I won't find funny.
Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to be negative as there's no use me being yet another person telling you "You're amazing dude! Awesome etc!". Definitely some good stuff in there, should be proud of it
Oh ok. Sorry, my initial impression was that you were just saying I was rubbish but I'm happy to talk about the character.
So basically, I like to be quite understated on stage. I think it works best for me and it is the key theme running through my character. My new husky voice (result of the chest surgery) assists this somewhat and the host in the Leeds Heat said it added gravity to what I was saying. There is comedic value to be had in the breaks from character where there is a quick change of facial expression - this is most evident in a couple new jokes which I will be adding, if they put me through. My friends say my character is all in all, pretty grumpy which is probably what I'd put as the consistent strand running through it all.
"For example you end quite upbeat, boistrous, and I imagine quite similar to how you are on a night out or with friends? It sits awkwardly with the rest of the set to me. It makes the rest seem like fake nervousness (which I would assume it is, mixed in with the genuine nerves)."
On a night out with friends, I'm hardly chief of the dance floor or anything like that. I'd be interested to know which bits you say are "fake nervousness" though. I have a new opening which is the epitome of fake nervousness but being as you did not see that, I'm interested to see which bits appear nervous to you. If anything, I'd say the bits which appear more nervous is where I get a bit louder.
I've never done a show longer than 10 minutes. Holding on to an audience for a long period of time will require different material and a different style, I will come to that bridge when I have to though but I'm aware I cannot just stick two seven minute sets together.
puddleduck
Chairman of Selectors
My point about the fake nervousness is that in a comedy routine, certainly for a successful comedian, they will have delivered it countless times. So even the mistakes, or the moments of unsureness are in a way scripted.
It's creating the image of the set being newly created as you watch it but not losing the cohesion and the control of the crowd. In that sense, the entire act is a fake nervousness, since you've probably told the jokes before (or at least it'll have to become a fake nervousness because with success will come confidence). So, to me, in watching it a couple of times, the end of the set jars the rest.
Bare in mind, I am not Jack Dee or Steve Coogan, and as such am merely writing this as an enthusiast. You'll have to have faith in your own ability to construct your stage character as ultimately it starts and ends with you.
It's creating the image of the set being newly created as you watch it but not losing the cohesion and the control of the crowd. In that sense, the entire act is a fake nervousness, since you've probably told the jokes before (or at least it'll have to become a fake nervousness because with success will come confidence). So, to me, in watching it a couple of times, the end of the set jars the rest.
Bare in mind, I am not Jack Dee or Steve Coogan, and as such am merely writing this as an enthusiast. You'll have to have faith in your own ability to construct your stage character as ultimately it starts and ends with you.
That'll be it. This was only my seventh time on stage. The "outstanding", "king Manraj" jokes were told for the first time. Several of the others had only been told once and I was pretty nervous as I died horrifically at my last gig, which was a month or two before this. The set was newly created but that is done for a reason. I feel that my jokes become ???? when over-rehearsed. The John Bishop joke, I come out with the punchline and just basically try to describe the details and it works best that way. It makes me look nervous because I'm trying to remember the place, the logistics and to describe the magazines in a ambiguous way as well as my unusual command "John [cannot say Bishop], can you please move forward and pass me those magazines [cannot say porn]".
The Pizza joke obviously fell flat so I can do away with that one but you're not a fan of the "butler" joke which has been a tremendously successful joke in the past and was quite well received there. I think the issue with it is that it called back to the [lack of success of the] 'right side of room' gag which, again, has been of massive success in the past and yes, perhaps the audience was uncomfortable with the shift in character, though it was supposed to be clearly deliberate and hence funny. It is interesting, that is the joke (along with the A1/clothes) that I have performed the most times and it didn't go great. Maybe I work best with material I've 'just written' so to speak or material where the lines are not so planned out.
I feel I was at my strongest with lines that I ad-libbed on stage such as "those are my two true stories" or "for example" and maybe I need to 'man up' and do away with my well-rehearsed Butler and A1/Clothes routine. Btw, the 'observational comedy' thing has also been with me since gig 1 but that bit is such an easy laugh that all I need to do is polish up the ending for that. However, that is another where, the way I convey the message is improvised, so to speak because I've found it is stronger that way.
I've got some new jokes which, I think, are really good by any standard. Let's just hope they put me through so I can show them to you guys.
puddleduck
Chairman of Selectors
No I actually thought the butler joke was decent. Certainly not the weakest. The homeless/get a room joke was I think your weakest joke by a distance. Deode-rant joke is obviously bad, but sets up the follow up.
Student fee is also a good joke I think.
Yeah, it's more to do with not rehearsing the last one enough I think. It's too forced. I think you can keep the innocent nervousness. Maybe even weave it differently? Something along the lines of wasn't until I was 20 that I realised why he never seemed to stop. MrBit... Not enough laughs.
Ok, I've got one more.
I had a butler, his name was Keep **** cleaning... Not sure if you know what I mean, and again, only one of us has done any standup before
Student fee is also a good joke I think.
Yeah, it's more to do with not rehearsing the last one enough I think. It's too forced. I think you can keep the innocent nervousness. Maybe even weave it differently? Something along the lines of wasn't until I was 20 that I realised why he never seemed to stop. MrBit... Not enough laughs.
Ok, I've got one more.
I had a butler, his name was Keep **** cleaning... Not sure if you know what I mean, and again, only one of us has done any standup before
