The patient sat there looking ill and asked, ''Flu?'' The doctor replied, ''No, I came on my bicycle actually!''
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A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
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Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots???
A: Bunny fa**s!
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If I had one cricket ball in one hand, and another cricket ball in the other hand, what would I have?
A bloody big cricket.
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Once there was a man who was peacefully driving down a windy road.
Suddenly, a bunny skipped across the road and the man couldn't stop. He hit the bunny head on. Once the man knew what had happened, he quickly jumped out of his car to check the scene. There, laying lifeless in the middle of the road, was the Easter bunny.
The man cried out, "Oh no! I have committed a terrible crime! I have run over the Easter bunny!"
The man started sobbing quite hard and then he heard another car approaching. It was a woman in a red convertable. The woman stopped and asked what the problem was.
The man explained, "I have done something horribly sad. I have run over the Easter bunny. Now there will be no one to deliver eggs on Easter Day, and it's all my fault."
The woman ran back to her car. A moment later, she came back carrying a spray bottle. She ran over to the motionless bunny and sprayed it. The bunny immediately sprang up, ran into the woods, stopped, and waved back at the man and woman. Then it ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved. It then ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved again. It did this over and over and over again until the man and the woman could no longer see the bunny.
Once out of sight, the man exclaimed, "What is that stuff in that bottle?"
The woman replied, "It's harespray. It revitalizes hare and adds permanent wave."
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Why can't a blo***dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.
