The Jokes Thread

[Ohm]

A total non-vege joke in vege form

Dad: - Imagine son, if you are on date and while romantic chat between you and your girlfriend, what will you do if you need to go to the emergancy toilet(Urine)?

Son: - I will simply tell her that "I'm going to kick out my friend who will become my best friend soon after he meet you."

 

[Ohm]

A drunker passed nearly from a couple. Wife just wondered and start to ignore her husband's attention from him.

Husband: Do you know who is he?

Wife: Used to. Before 10 years ago, he proposed me. But I rejected.

Husband: Oh My God! He is still celebrating.

 

[GlitchInTheMatrix]

Chatting between two friends @ 1.00 AM (They're chatting for 4 hours)
1: Gotta go mate, it's very late.
2: Don't go buddy, it's only 1.00 AM
1: If I don't go now, then my mom will stomp my face on the keyboard!fdbduvsuhcbaucvacuavschcbcnc zcauihaiudfv/gd/gsfdfsfjsm,vvfl;sjsiah

I guess this was the most funniest joke ever posted in this thread!
7 people thanked me.

 

[Ohm]

I guess this was the most funniest joke ever posted in this thread!
7 people thanked me.

Sort out all 232 pages first

BTW - Its really a funny one

 

[Ohm]

A girl and boy chatting on FB.

Girl: I heard that you failed in english. Right?

Boy: Who telled you that? Its unpossible. I are really seeriyas with English. I work harded and I passed away!
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Read if you can't understand the joke.
Corrections:-

Telled - Told
I are - I am
Unpossible - Impossible
Seeriyas - Serious
Work harded - Worked hard
I passed away - I passed

 

[vaibhavtewatia]

Kushy's jokes were definitely better.

 

[Ohm]

Kushy's jokes were definitely better.

Is it a joke or reality?

 

[Sulaiman7]

Is it a joke or reality?

Reality....

 

[Ohm]

On a road a blind beggar come in the way of a copule.

Beggar: - "Oh! Beautiful, Hot lady give me some money. I'm a blind person."

Husband to Wife: - "Give him all the money that you have. He is really a blind beggar."

 

[FabregasChelsea]

A guy asked a girl in a library, ?Do you mind if I sit beside you??

The girl answered with a loud voice, ?I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOUUU!!!!!?

All of the students in the library started staring at the guy. He was very embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy?s table and told him, ?I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking. Let me guess, you were embarrassed, huh??

The guy responded with a loud voice, ?200 DOLLARS FOR ONE NIGHT?!?!?! THAT?S TOO MUCH!!!?

?and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy leaned over and whispered, ?I study Law, and I know how to make people look guilty.?

 

[sami ullah khan]

Three thanks for this joke
THATS TOO MUCH"

 

[King of Cricket]

There was a lady, who had a dog that she loved, and he followed her everywhere. One morning she woke up, went to the bathroom, came out, and realized that her dog wasn't at her feet. She found him in his bed ''sleeping''. She called his name, but he didn't get up. So she took him to the doctor and told the doctor that her dog wouldn't wake up. So he looked at her dog and said, ''Your dog is dead''. She asked the doctor to perform another test to be sure.
The doctor went into another room, and came back with a cage. In it there was a cat. He let the cat out, and she walked around the dog, sniffed, and went back in her cage. The doctor put the cat back in the other room. He came out and said again, ''Your dog is dead''.

She was like ''Ok, how much do I owe you?''
The doctor said ''$300''

She said, ''What!?!? How could it cost that much??''
He said ''$15 for me to say he was dead. Then $285 for the cat scan''

 

[Ohm]

A sad guy was sat on a bench outside a patient's room in a hospital. A nurse saw him and asked "Why are you so sad? Don't worry your patient will be recovered soon. Here are best doctors in the world."
That guy : "I'm sad because I gave 50 thousand $ to my friend for his plastic surgery."
Nurse : "So, why to sad because of it?"
That guy : "You best doctors changed him totally and now I can't identify my friend to get back my money."

 

[Samuels]

The journalist asked the politician, ?Your assistant said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you like to comment?
?Yes, I would,? said the politician. ?The truth is my assistant has a big mouth.?

 

[FabregasChelsea]

5 friends lived in a room, namely Mad, Brain, Fool, Somebody & Nobody.

0ne day, Somebody killed Nobody.
At That time Brain was in bath room,
Mad called Police.
Mad : Is it Police Station ?
Police : Yes, what is the matter ?
Mad : somebody killed nobody.
Police : Are u mad?
Mad : yes, i am Mad.
Police : don't you have Brain?
Mad : Brain is in bathroom. Police : U fool !
Mad : No......
fool is reading msg very seriously.