The Jokes Thread

[Ohm]

The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man
called a family meeting to discuss.
Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use home
phone, I use my work phone.
Mum: Me too. I hardly use home phone. I use my
companies phone
Son: I use my office mobile, I never use the home
phone.
All of them shocked and together look at the
maid who's patiently listening to them.
Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones.
What's the Big deal??

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

How sad. ;-( ;-(

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

I didn't fart! I like you so much that my *** blew you a flying kiss. Though it's quite stinky.

 

[Umair7]

The Sad Man was Shabby

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

The Sad Man was Shabby

Yeah. And the amount of embarrassment for that sad man is too damn high.

 

[Umair7]

Yeah. And the amount of embarrassment for that sad man is too damn high.

He was like you

 

[Umair7]

Damn it![DOUBLEPOST=1407255766][/DOUBLEPOST]Though I'm not even married. I'm just 13.

Who knows people can lie cant they .

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

Who knows people can lie cant they .

Especially for you. Imported from India.

 

[Sulaiman7]

Move on people.

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

 

[GlitchInTheMatrix]

How sad. ;-( ;-(

lol this was awesome!

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

One day, a servent enrolled his donkey in a race.
.
.
.
Fortunately, the donkey won. The next day's news paper read "A Servent's Ass Won"
.
.
.
The king was so upset with this type of publicity that he asked his soldiers to get that donkey and gift it to the Queen.
.
.
.
The next day's news paper read "Queen Has The Best Ass In The Town"
.
.
.
The king got angry and ordered his soldier to sell that donkey, the soldiers sold it for $10 to a farmer.
.
.
.
The next day's news paper read "Queen Sold Her Ass To A Farmer For Just $10"
.
.
.
The king faded. Then he ordered his soldiers to kill that donkey. The soldiers went to the farmer to whom they sold the donkey. The farmer explained that the donkey had ran away and was missing in the wild forests. So the King decided to give a prize to anyone who'd return that. They made an announcement.
.
.
.
The next day's news paper read "The Queens Ass Went Missing In The Wild Forests. Anyone Who Returns It Would Be Rewarded"
.
.
.
Next day, the King Died!

 

[Sulaiman7]

lel.

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

 

[Umair7]

@Themer would be proud of you ! ^

 

[Na Maloom Afraad]

The Naughty Teacher
*Too long but worth it*
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal:

'What is 3 x 3?'



Harry:

'9.'



Principal:

'What is 6 x 6?'



Harry:

'36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands .'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'



Harry:

'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the

teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.
​

 

[GlitchInTheMatrix]

Oh yes! another awesome joke . ^