Na Maloom Afraad
Only Man In The Sky
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2012
Cause it's me!Oh yes! another awesome joke. ^
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
- Start date
Raghuchandra
International Coach
Na Maloom Afraad
Only Man In The Sky
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2012
I think so.really???
joejoe018
Associate Cricketer
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house
Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
I was in in the public restroom
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.
When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation.
I almost died in Finding Nemo.
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house
Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
I was in in the public restroom
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:
"Hi, how are you?"
Me: (embarrassed) "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.
When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation.
I almost died in Finding Nemo.
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
ethybubs
International Cricketer
It's probably been done already but here goes:
A Frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. he can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I`d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it`s okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she`ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There`s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It`s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man`s a rolling stone."
A Frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. he can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I`d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it`s okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she`ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There`s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It`s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man`s a rolling stone."
GlitchInTheMatrix
ICC Board Member
a Bollywood joke.
Aishwarya's Baby in school..
.
Teacher- Who is ur grandpa?
Baby- Big B
.
Teacher- Who is ur mother?
Baby- Miss World 
.
Teacher- Who is ur father?
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
Baby- No Idea Sir Ji..
Aishwarya's Baby in school..
.
Teacher- Who is ur grandpa?
Baby- Big B
.
Teacher- Who is ur mother?
Baby- Miss World 
.
Teacher- Who is ur father?
.
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
Baby- No Idea Sir Ji..
joejoe018
Associate Cricketer
Husband: Honey, do u smell that?
Wife: No.
Husband: Yeah, me neither, start cooking.
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
Boy and girl: asked the teacher very important question?
"can kids of our age have kids?"
Teacher replied " NO Never!!"
Boy said to girl :
"see i told you not to worry!!!!
Me- "What mouse walks on 2 feet?"
Friend- "I don't know"
Me- "Mickey Mouse, what duck walks on 2 feet?"
Friend- "Donald Duck?"
Me- "No, all ducks dipshit"
Friend- "Screw you"
That frustrating moment when your almost done with your cereal and the last five pieces are like, "Haha! catch me if you can"
I went to walmart today and asked customer service for gta v. She was confused so i told her that it was a game with a black guy who crashed his car, sleeps with prostitutes, and attacks ppl with his golf club. She came put later with Tiger Woods PGA 2010.
Wife: No.
Husband: Yeah, me neither, start cooking.
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
Boy and girl: asked the teacher very important question?
"can kids of our age have kids?"
Teacher replied " NO Never!!"
Boy said to girl :
"see i told you not to worry!!!!
Me- "What mouse walks on 2 feet?"
Friend- "I don't know"
Me- "Mickey Mouse, what duck walks on 2 feet?"
Friend- "Donald Duck?"
Me- "No, all ducks dipshit"
Friend- "Screw you"
That frustrating moment when your almost done with your cereal and the last five pieces are like, "Haha! catch me if you can"
I went to walmart today and asked customer service for gta v. She was confused so i told her that it was a game with a black guy who crashed his car, sleeps with prostitutes, and attacks ppl with his golf club. She came put later with Tiger Woods PGA 2010.
cricketmad09
International Coach
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2004
- Online Cricket Games Owned
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Sulaiman7
ICC Chairman
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
- Profile Flag
- Pakistan
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - Steam PC
'Cos the road leads to a tunnel where the sperm has to meet the egg.
cricketmad09
International Coach
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2004
- Online Cricket Games Owned
Sulaiman7
ICC Chairman
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
- Profile Flag
- Pakistan
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - Steam PC
Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
A: Both of them you brush aside before you start eating.[DOUBLEPOST=1409504082][/DOUBLEPOST]Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
A: Both of them you brush aside before you start eating.[DOUBLEPOST=1409504082][/DOUBLEPOST]Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
cricketmad09
International Coach
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2004
- Online Cricket Games Owned
Why did Barbie never get pregnant?
GlitchInTheMatrix
ICC Board Member
She use condoms
Sulaiman7
ICC Chairman
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
- Profile Flag
- Pakistan
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - Steam PC
She was never almighty tweaked.
cricketmad09
International Coach
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2004
- Online Cricket Games Owned
Because Ken always came in another box
