The Jokes Thread

[domiw]

There were 2 bothers, freddie and dominick. They both had played cricket all their lives. One day, freddie said to dominick " i wonder if they play cricket in heaven?"
so dominick said " why dont, whoever goes first, come down to the other and tell him if they play cricket." they both agreed. It happened to be dominick, and when freddie was sitting down to have breakfast the day after the funeral. dominick drifted in through the window, and said " ive got some good news and some bad news" freddie asked for the good news first, and dominick said " the good news is that they do play cricket in heaven, and im batting at 3 like i always have."
"so whats the bad news?" said freddie.
"well.." he said nervously "you're meant to open the bowling next week!

 

[CricketPlayer55]

Wait, I still have 2 more jokes left!


Doctor to Banana: What is the problem?

Banana replied to the docter:I am not peeling well.:rtfl


And also,

One day, George W. Bush went to the hospital for a brain checkup. Doc said 'Well, Mr. Presidient, you have a brain as the same as all others. But there is one problem, your RIGHT brain, has nothing LEFT, and your LEFT brain, has nothing RIGHT!':rtfl!!!!!!!!

 

[KBC]

Second one is Hilarious!:laugh:.

 

[Karachi Xpress]

The second one really is hilarious!:rtl

 

[CricketPlayer55]

(Elvis Presley Style) Thank you, thank you very much.

 

[shivamisthakur]

gr8 jokes

 

[SciD]

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement:
"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"

 

[CricketPlayer55]

I have jokes coming daily!!!

What is the chickens' worst day?
FRIDAY!!!!:rtfl
What colour is a burp?
BURPLE!!!:rtfl:rtfl
What kind of dance do you do on a trampoline?
Hip-HOP!!!:rtfl
Why did Tigger look inside the toilet?
He was looking for POOH!:rtfl

 

[domiw]

dont get the chicken one :confused:

 

[Hooper]

Fried-day.
Fried-ay.
Friday.

 

[Karachi Xpress]

dont get the chicken one :confused:

The day that the chicken gets fried

 

[Karachi Xpress]

Why men must NOT write advice columns


Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off
for work leaving my husband in the house watching the
TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the
road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered
to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's
help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He
was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad
passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and
we have been married for twelve years. When I
confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd
been having an affair for the past six months.
I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go
from his job six months ago and he says he has been
feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love
him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum
he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can
get through to him anymore.
Can you please help?
Sincerely,


Mrs. Sheila Usk

Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can
be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel
line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding
the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of
these approaches solves the problem, it could be that
the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery
pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps.


Walter

 

[Karachi Xpress]

Two blonde friends were going on a trip to Florida. A neighbor
told them that they'd be fine as long as they paid attention to the
road signs along the way.

When they'd driven just 30 miles, they saw
one that read "Clean Restrooms Ahead."

Two months later, they arrived in Florida exhausted - having used
up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels and three cases
of toilet-bowl cleaner.

Total restrooms cleaned:450

:rtfl

 

[Bilal91]

lol...nice one...

Q. Whats the stupidest animal in the jungle???
Ans. Polar bear

 

[Karachi Xpress]

lol...nice one...

Q. Whats the stupidest animal in the jungle???
Ans. Polar bear

Urmmm...I didn't get that

I finally crossed you in posts Bilal