mattfb
Chairman of Selectors
Lol!
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
- Start date
Lol!
..::<<!!lol!!>>::..
Bird's Eye View
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness.
"Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer.
"Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"
Bird's Eye View
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness.
"Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer.
"Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
Lol...Nice one KBC!
SciD
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2006
- Online Cricket Games Owned
A young couple was married, and celebrated their first night together, doing what newlyweds do, time and time again, all night long. Morning comes and the groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel when he emerges from the shower. He asks the bride to please bring one from the bedroom.
When she gets to the bathroom door, he openes the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"
When she gets to the bathroom door, he openes the door, exposing his body for the first time to his bride where she sees all of him well. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway, they stopped and stared, and she asked shyly, "What's THAT?", pointing to a small part of his anatomy.
He, also being shy, thought for a minute and then said, "Well, that's what we had so much fun with last night." And she, in amazement, asked, "Is that all we have left?"
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
HEHEHEHEHEHE! Nice one Sid! :rtfl
What does **** Mean?
Their was a kid that always got picked on at school. Everyday his friends and kids that went to the same school always said to him **** you. The dumb kid always was curious about what the word **** means. One day he got real sad and wanted to know what it meant,so he ran home and rushed in the house screaming out for his father. He yelled
"Dad"and then his dad came out and asked what he wanted? The boy said "Dad" what does **** mean. And then his Dad said son i think its time you knew what **** means. Dad then yelled out Mom get down here son wants to know what **** means. Mom comes down stairs Dad says Mom to take off her clothes and get in her posission. He turns to his son and said son you see that pink spot on Mom? Watch your Dad go to work. Then the boys sister came in the door and says what are they doing? The boy turns his head
and with a smile he says they are ****ing. The sister then asks what **** means.
WELL YOU SEE THAT BROWN SPOT ON Dad? WATCH YOUR BROTHER GO TO WORK.
What does **** Mean?
Their was a kid that always got picked on at school. Everyday his friends and kids that went to the same school always said to him **** you. The dumb kid always was curious about what the word **** means. One day he got real sad and wanted to know what it meant,so he ran home and rushed in the house screaming out for his father. He yelled
"Dad"and then his dad came out and asked what he wanted? The boy said "Dad" what does **** mean. And then his Dad said son i think its time you knew what **** means. Dad then yelled out Mom get down here son wants to know what **** means. Mom comes down stairs Dad says Mom to take off her clothes and get in her posission. He turns to his son and said son you see that pink spot on Mom? Watch your Dad go to work. Then the boys sister came in the door and says what are they doing? The boy turns his head
and with a smile he says they are ****ing. The sister then asks what **** means.
WELL YOU SEE THAT BROWN SPOT ON Dad? WATCH YOUR BROTHER GO TO WORK.
Last edited:
travder92
Club Captain
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2006
- Location
- Brisbane, Australia
- Online Cricket Games Owned
- Don Bradman Cricket 14 - Steam PC
thats..disgusting
..::!!**35 universal truths**!!::..
Yeah. Very Offensive....:laugh.... His Sis Doesn't Know What's ****ing. LOL!
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
Yeah. Very Offensive....:laugh.... His Sis Doesn't Know What's ****ing. LOL!
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
Nice one KB.
Maxkarter
Battrick Tournament Host
http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/
Probably the best compilation of problem tickets in a technical department. EVER!
Probably the best compilation of problem tickets in a technical department. EVER!
Leicester Fox
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2006
- Online Cricket Games Owned
Don't know if its already been posted but in honour of xmas, why couldn't jesus be born in Liverpool? They couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin
King Pietersen
ICC Board Member
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2006
- Location
- Manchester
Why cant father christmas get his wife pregnant ?
He only comes once a year, and its down a chimney.
I'm here all week
He only comes once a year, and its down a chimney.
I'm here all week
Another LOL!
Victim's Son
A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car.
Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."
The crowd made way for him.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey..:rtfl:.
Victim's Son
A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car.
Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."
The crowd made way for him.
Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
.:rtfl:.
. Some of them were from My PA.
