lol...yeah all of em are pretty ace i thought...
The Jokes Thread
- Thread starter scorpion_rulezz
- Start date
lol...yeah all of em are pretty ace i thought...
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
My Wife is Missing!
A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing."
The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?"
"A month."
"Why did you wait so long to report it?"
"Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn't have any clean clothes to wear."
A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing."
The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?"
"A month."
"Why did you wait so long to report it?"
"Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream, then I realized I didn't have any clean clothes to wear."
I think that drinking and driving is terrible........
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coz you always spill some when you change gears.....
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OFF TRACK: The son asks: "Daddy, how was I born?"
Dad says: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then
I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We
sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from
my
hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither
one
of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete
button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said: You've
Got Male!
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OFF TRACK: Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the
obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be. "He and my husband don't get along."
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OFF TRACK: An Italian boy and a Jewish boy are neighbours. The Jewish boy
is
the son of a Jeweler and the Italian boy is the son of a hit man. Oddly
enough, they have the same birthday. For their 12th birthday, the little
Jewish boy receives a Rolex watch and the little Italian boy receives a 22
Beretta. The next day, they are out on the street corner comparing their
presents and neither is happy, so they switch gifts with each other. The
little Italian boy goes home to show his Father and his Father is NOT
pleased.
"What are you, nuts? Let me tell you something, you idiot! Some day you're
gonna meet a nice girl, you're gonna wanna settle down and get married.
You'll have a few kids, all that stuff. THEN one day, you're gonna come
home
and find your wife in bed with another man. What the hell ya gonna do? Look
at your watch and say - 'Hey, how long you gonna be?'"
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.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
..
.
.
..
coz you always spill some when you change gears.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
OFF TRACK: The son asks: "Daddy, how was I born?"
Dad says: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then
I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We
sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from
my
hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither
one
of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete
button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said: You've
Got Male!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
OFF TRACK: Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the
obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be. "He and my husband don't get along."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
OFF TRACK: An Italian boy and a Jewish boy are neighbours. The Jewish boy
is
the son of a Jeweler and the Italian boy is the son of a hit man. Oddly
enough, they have the same birthday. For their 12th birthday, the little
Jewish boy receives a Rolex watch and the little Italian boy receives a 22
Beretta. The next day, they are out on the street corner comparing their
presents and neither is happy, so they switch gifts with each other. The
little Italian boy goes home to show his Father and his Father is NOT
pleased.
"What are you, nuts? Let me tell you something, you idiot! Some day you're
gonna meet a nice girl, you're gonna wanna settle down and get married.
You'll have a few kids, all that stuff. THEN one day, you're gonna come
home
and find your wife in bed with another man. What the hell ya gonna do? Look
at your watch and say - 'Hey, how long you gonna be?'"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
The second one is awesome. No firewall:rtfl
Last edited:
Master Khan
National Board President
Q: How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?
A: Give him a piece of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.
A: Give him a piece of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
Read that before but thats really funny. I think it was how to keep a Sardar busy.
Dangerous Cowboy?
Dangerous Cowboy?
A cowboy rides up to a saloon on his horse. He goes in, orders a drink, then leaves. His horse is gone. He goes back to the saloon, and asks, "Where's my horse?"
No one replies. So he says, "I'll order one more drink, and then if my horse isn't outside, I'll have to do what i did in Texas and I don't like doing that."
So the locals hurry around, and when he leaves, his horse is outside.
As the stranger gets on his horse, the bartender asks, "What did you do in Texas?" to which the cowboy replies, "I had to walk home."
Dangerous Cowboy?
A cowboy rides up to a saloon on his horse. He goes in, orders a drink, then leaves. His horse is gone. He goes back to the saloon, and asks, "Where's my horse?"
No one replies. So he says, "I'll order one more drink, and then if my horse isn't outside, I'll have to do what i did in Texas and I don't like doing that."
So the locals hurry around, and when he leaves, his horse is outside.
As the stranger gets on his horse, the bartender asks, "What did you do in Texas?" to which the cowboy replies, "I had to walk home."
Karachi Xpress
Chairman of Selectors
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2005
- Location
- Canada
LOLOLOLOL!!!:rtfl...
24 Hour Grocery
A lady goes to a 24 Hour Grocery and sees the shop keeper closing the shop and going home.
The lady says...
Lady: Isn't this grocery a 24-hour grocery?
Man: It is but not in a row
24 Hour Grocery
A lady goes to a 24 Hour Grocery and sees the shop keeper closing the shop and going home.
The lady says...
Lady: Isn't this grocery a 24-hour grocery?
Man: It is but not in a row
tassietiger
International Cricketer
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2005
- Online Cricket Games Owned
Nothing will ever beat the old "You have twenty sick sheep in a farm and one dies. How many do you have left?"
If this is said quickly, you'll get the hilarious response of "25, obviously" while the answer is clearly 19. I have to admit, when I first got tricked by this I laughed at the sheer genius of the joke for at least three weeks in a row.
(Once the laughter had finished I had a shower, because it's fair to say that laughing for three consecutive weeks doesn't do much for your hygiene. Then I did a number one and took a nap.)
If this is said quickly, you'll get the hilarious response of "25, obviously" while the answer is clearly 19. I have to admit, when I first got tricked by this I laughed at the sheer genius of the joke for at least three weeks in a row.
(Once the laughter had finished I had a shower, because it's fair to say that laughing for three consecutive weeks doesn't do much for your hygiene. Then I did a number one and took a nap.)
