The Jokes Thread

[Ricky_Ponting]

nice jokes here
I have one

There was a student who was about to graduate from secondary school but he had to share room with his younger brother who was still in grade 9

He wanted to have fun as much as he could cause he wouldn't return to school
so one day he brought his girlfriend home to have some fun
the bed him and his brother were sharing was double so him and his girl went on top and his brother was sleeping on the bottom one.
he told the girl to shout lettuce when she wants hard and tomato when she wants new position
lettuce

tomato

lettuce

tomato

lettuce

pull it out, pull it out!! i cant become pregnant

guy's brother wakes up and screams "Can you guys stop making sandwiches
up there. You are throwing mustard all over my face."

 

[Karachi Xpress]

Lol...Nice one RP! :rtfl

 

[Leggie]

That was hilarious Ricky Ponting!

Reps!

It could have been mayonaise.....

 

[usy]

Soo many adds on internet about "selling" jokes, crazy ehh? what next?

 

[Will_NA]

That was God-awful, Usy!

 

[King Pietersen]

RP the joke was supposed to end with Mayonnaise, not Mustard. Still a classic joke though.

 

[Ricky_Ponting]

Thanks everyone!!
I think mayonnaise is a bit to solid!! LOL

ok here is another one

Man 2 wife : "business is going down,if u learn to cook,we can remove cook."
wife : "asshole, if u learn to F**K, we can remove driver,
Gardener & watchman!!!!!!!!"

LMAO

Another one!!


A woman gave birth to six babies & on seeing this,
she goes out off her hospital bed &
slapped her husband & shouted, " I told you not to go doggy
style ".

 

[Karachi Xpress]

Lol...The first one his hilarious:rtfl

 

[Animator!]

Osama bin laden has appeared on tv this morning to quell rumour of his death. to prove that the appearence was not pre recorded bin laden stated that he had "watched the football on saturday and Newcastle were crap!"

The US and UK government officals have dismissed the tape saying the recording could have been made any time over the past 10 years

 

[Cricketdude]

Osama bin laden has appeared on tv this morning to quell rumour of his death. to prove that the appearence was not pre recorded bin laden stated that he had "watched the football on saturday and Newcastle were crap!"

The US and UK government officals have dismissed the tape saying the recording could have been made any time over the past 10 years

LOL!

 

[Karachi Xpress]

Lol...:laugh

 

[punterpupnroy]

Lol just been loking through this thread for about 15 minutes. Some hilarious jokes there boys.

 

[KBC]

..:: 370hssv-0773h ::..

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive", Osama decided to send George W B a letter in his own writing to let his friend know that he is still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:
370HSSV-0773H

George Jr. couldn't figure it out so he typed it in and emailed Rice. Rice and her aids had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No one could solve it so it went to the FBI and then to NSA and the cc list just got longer and longer. Eventually it arrived at Mossad.

They looked at it and replied immediately: "Perhaps the President would wish to look at the message up-side-down...." :shock:.

 

[SciD]

:rtfl KBC.

 

[icyman]

Dity Ones...

1. Once Little Johny decide to be decent boy and not to use bad words..
On same day little marry comes and asks, "Johny.. what is dick ..",
Johny, "When you grow up and become a good girl, you will also get one.."
marry," What if i become a bad girl ?"
Johny says calmly, " Well.. then you will get many."

-----------------------------------------------------

2. A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,
"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,
"Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says,
"What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies,
"I am your mother. The archbishop is your father."

-------------------------------------------------------------
3. In a second grade class, Susie asks, "Teacher, can my Mommy get pregnant?" "How old is your mother, dear?" asks the teacher.
"Forty."
"Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant."

The little girl then asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?"
"Well, dear, how old is your sister?"
Susie answers, "Nineteen."
"Oh yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant."

The little girl then asks, "Can I get pregnant?"
"How old are you, dear?"
Susie answers, "I'm seven years old."
"No, dear, you can't get pregnant..."

Then, Little Johnny behind Susie gives her a poke and says, "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about."