The Jokes Thread

[CricketPlayer55]

He doesnt have a boss...hes your age

No...
He's eleven,
I'm nine.
I'll turn ten this year.

 

[Highlander999]

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter,

and sees it's filled to the brim with ?10 notes.

He estimates there must be thousands of pounds in it.


He approaches the barman and asks. 'What's up with the jar?'

'Well, you pay ?10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money..'

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. 'What are the three tests?'

'Pay first, those are the rules.' says the bartender. So the man gives him

the ?10 and the barman drops it into the jar.

'OK,' the barman says. 'Here's what you have to do .......

First, you have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole

thing, all at once ... And you can't make a face while doing it.

Second, there's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You

have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

Third, there's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never reached

orgasm during intercourse. You've gotta make things right for her.'

The man is stunned. 'I know I paid my ?10, but I'm not an idiot, I

won't do it! You have to be crazy to drink a gallon of pepper tequila,

and then do those other things ..'

'Your call,' says the barman, 'but your money stays in the jar.'

As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he

asks, 'Wherez zat tequila?'

He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with big slurps.

Tears streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon

the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy scuffle going on outside.

They hear the pit bull barking, the man screaming, the pit bull yelping

and then silence.

Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back

into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over

his body.

'Now,' he says. 'Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?'

:laugh Very good

Was that true?

Your just an idiot

 

[CricketPlayer55]

Shutup.

 

[Karachi Xpress]

No...
He's eleven,
I'm nine.
I'll turn ten this year.

So how does he have a boss??

 

[mattfb]

Was that true?

Of course it is. He is really a 40 year old pedo working in the veg business who is just leading you on in making you believe he is 11.

 

[Gilly Fan]

You have to be at least 14 and 9 months to work.

The law is different now. It's 15.

 

[CricketPlayer55]

Of course it is. He is really a 40 year old pedo working in the veg business who is just leading you on in making you believe he is 11.

I trust him that he's eleven. I've seen his pictures.

 

[Kiko_97]

It's a joke, it's not real honestly.

 

[Dr. Pepper]

:laugh Very good




Your just an idiot

hahaha i'm seriously cracking up. lol! what an idiot!

 

[Benno]

I knew a girl who was employed for 24 years as a house cleaner and she accidently got locked in the basement for ages and she miraciously had all these children like magic!

 

[mattfb]

I trust him that he's eleven. I've seen his pictures.

They could just be off someones myspace.

 

[Cricketdude]

They could just be off someones myspace.

GG has probably been stalking kids other profiles lol.

 

[Highlander999]

Aussie Joke

Three Aussies were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Bluey.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Bluey says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Four X.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Bluey?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me," Bluey replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

"Well not exactly," Bluey says. "When she answered the door, I said to her,'You must be Steve's widow'.

She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'

And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Four X you are'."

 

[kamrandahir]

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog
called out to him and said, "If you kiss me I
will turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
over, picked up the frog, and put it in his
pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful
princess, I will tell everyone how smart and
brave you are and how you are my hero." The man
took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it,
and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss
me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,
I will be your loving companion for an entire
week." The man took the frog out, smiled at it
and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me
and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I
will stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING
that you want." Again the man took the frog out,
smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I
will stay with you for a year and do any thing
that you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look I'm a computer rogrammer. I
don't have time for a girlfriend, but a TALKING
FROG IS COOL."

 

[Karachi Xpress]

Three Aussies were working on a high-rise building project - Steve, Bruce and Bluey.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Bluey says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Four X.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Bluey?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me," Bluey replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

"Well not exactly," Bluey says. "When she answered the door, I said to her,'You must be Steve's widow'.

She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.'

And I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Four X you are'."

:laugh: Nice one!