The Jokes Thread

[KBC]

Here's another good one i've got from the soft.

1. You have been on-line for 46 minutes. Do you want to stay on-line? Please respond within 10 minutes, or you will be logged off.


2. You have been on-line 135 minutes. Not to put any pressure on you,but there are OTHER people in the world who would like to sign on. Let's show some consideration for our fellow members and sign off, WHADDYA SAY?


3. You DO realize that you have been on-line for 180 minutes, right? When was the last time you went outside?


4. OK, this is getting ridiculous. Frankly, you're starting to upset us! If you sign off now, we'll bring back your buddy list, OK?


5. You have been on-line for 360 minutes now! We promised you unlimited time, we know, but can't you just finish up and go read a good book?!


6. You have been on-line for 467 minutes. Do you remember your family members names?


7. You have been on-line for 513 minutes. Your spouse has left and your dog is starving. Do you wish to remain on-line?


8. You have been on-line for 724 minutes. Steve Case is coming personally to your house to yank the phone cord!


9. You have been on-line for 852 minutes. Do you KNOW how many hours that is??


10. You have been on-line for 921 minutes. Do you realize that AOL averages 921 complaints per hour about busy phone lines? Do you realize that AOL receives
9.21 lawsuits per day, due to busy phone lines? PLEASE sign-off, to reduce these averages, or go to KEYWORD: Class Action to join a lawsuit.


11. You have been on-line for 967 minutes. When AOL went unlimited, they didn't think you would take it LITERALLY! So get OFF, before we go broke!


12. You have been on-line for 1013 minutes. This is Steve Case, I need to sign-on myself and answer some mail. Could you PLEASE sign-off?


13. You have been on-line for 1105 minutes. Are you and your family chatting in shifts? GEEZE get off already!


14. You have been on-line 1151 minutes. WELCOME TO THE TEAM... See job application enclosed!



........

 

[ZoraxDoom]

1151 minutes? Only 19 hours. Pfft....

 

[Spinksy]

That's nothing, I could do 11151 ITBT...

 

[shubhrayu]

THINKING OUT OF THE BOX


Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?



A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!




**********



Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?



A. No time at all it is already built.




**********




Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?



A. Very large hands. (Good one)




**********



Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?



A. It is not a problem, since you will never find! An elephant with one hand.




**********



Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?



A. No Probs , He sleeps at night.




**********



Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?



A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.




**********



Q. What looks like half apple ?



A : The other half.




**********



Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?



A : Lunch and Dinner.




**********



Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?



A : It caused a revolution.




**********



Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?



A : Liquid

 

[McLOVIN]

how are those jokes? if so...they arnt funny...so called OLD PC member

 

[Cricketdude]

Good ones!

 

[shubhrayu]

how are those jokes? if so...they arnt funny...so called OLD PC member

Have I commented on your jokes then why do you do?

 

[Will_NA]

how are those jokes? if so...they arnt funny...so called OLD PC member

Uck-fay off. At least he hasn't started a whole new thread on other people's jokes, many of which have already been posted on this forum. As for the jokes you rarely do make up yourself, such as the ones in the Caption thread, they are abysmal.

Go away.

 

[Niv]

What's better than eating a mandarin?

Spoiler

eating Amanda out.

 

[Kshitiz_Indian]

Good ones shubrayu!

 

[Karachi Xpress]

Nice ones Shubh!

 

[KBC]

How are men like UFOs?

You don't know where they come from, what their mission is, or what time they're going to take off.

 

[McLOVIN]

Have I commented on your jokes then why do you do?

i have the right to do that...

Uck-fay off. At least he hasn't started a whole new thread on other people's jokes, many of which have already been posted on this forum. As for the jokes you rarely do make up yourself, such as the ones in the Caption thread, they are abysmal.

Go away.

go away?? did i come knock on your door?
why dont you go find something better to do then just track down my post to critics about my joke thread? i have seen you do that in few other threads too!
and plus you said you would shut the hell up if i show you why i opened my thread... why are you still being all cry baby over it, and tracking my post to cry over it??

stay away stalker

 

[Kiko_97]

i have the right to do that...



go away?? did i come knock on your door?
why dont you go find something better to do then just track down my post to critics about my joke thread? i have seen you do that in few other threads too!
and plus you said you would shut the hell up if i show you why i opened my thread... why are you still being all cry baby over it, and tracking my post to cry over it??

stay away stalker

How about you mate. Like I said in my rep. Make people laugh then criticise and people don't like that kind of talk here. MacLovin. Go back to your rock

 

[shubhrayu]

i have the right to do that...



go away?? did i come knock on your door?
why dont you go find something better to do then just track down my post to critics about my joke thread? i have seen you do that in few other threads too!
and plus you said you would shut the hell up if i show you why i opened my thread... why are you still being all cry baby over it, and tracking my post to cry over it??

stay away stalker

I say now that even has full rights to do that